Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
As a gender nonconforming cis dyke, I’ve received a lot of weird hostility in bathrooms. Like, a lot. The mild but frequent stuff is when people see me, do a visible double take, and go check the sign again. The not entirely common, more aggressive stuff is when people verbally question why I’m there. More than once I’ve had someone call me “it” or confront me about my gender in public settings. I’ve had people try to tell me to leave.
But the only place I’ve had someone physically try to remove me from a bathroom was in London.
Some random middle aged woman thought that she had the right to put her hands on me simply because I don’t match her ideas of what femininity is, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this happened in a place where transphobia is running rampant. Of all the weird stuff that’s happened to me in pretty conservative parts of the US, they simply are not as emboldened here as they currently are in the UK; but don’t think for a moment that they don’t intend to get there.
Trans people are reason enough to fight these bigots. It’s a good enough reason. Trans people deserve respect, dignity, compassion, and protection. But if you think they’ll be satisfied with only pushing trans people back into the closet, you’re utterly deluded. They want absolute conformity, simple as that, and they’re increasing their push here too.
Any lesbian who aligns herself with transphobia is a traitor. Simple as that.
Y’all if you want to normalize screwing with gender you need to get real comfortable with the idea of cishet people being gnc without doubting their sexuality
We as a community need to stop romanticizing the skinny chronically depressed emo trans guy and start romanticizing the fat happily married 30+ year old trans guy who wears goofy dad clothes.
You know maybe it’s the fact I’ve been on Tumblr too long but the trans guy influencers were always these lithe conventionally attractive constantly suffering skinny white guys. Meeting more people in the community, men who live with their spouses and have survived and weathered the adolescent angst we all suffered, who build healthy safe homes to raise their kids in even if they never had it. Who have friends and a community and silly hobbies they do with their kids. It has given me hope for life, aspiration, the idea that self care and improvement doesn’t end with transition, that you should still be growing and working to make a life you love even after your transition is complete. And I envy the trans guys who love and are loved and create love more than I envy the drop dead gorgeous guys. The life of a transgender person doesn’t always have to have this cloud of misery, even if it still hangs over you, you may find a place and people who will help you weather the storm.
