Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.

The Signs When They're Tired

  • Aries: Tells everyone to shut up so they can nap
  • Taurus: Falls asleep on the spot
  • Gemini: Stares blankly while you try to talk to them
  • Cancer: Does everything slowly and half-assed
  • Leo: Tries to stay awake & gets grumpy
  • Virgo: complains
  • Libra: Does something to stay awake
  • Scorpio: Falls asleep mid sentence
  • Sagittarius: Whines and gives up
  • Capricorn: cranky
  • Aquarius: Confused about everything and droopy eyed
  • Pisces: Leaves & ignores everyone

the signs as poorly thought out shit that i've actually done

  • ARIES: knocked my brother off of our roof
  • TAURUS: spent over 200 dollars on real life pokemon badges
  • GEMINI: tried to make french toast by myself, accidentally used an entire carton of eggs for three pieces of toast
  • CANCER: slept on my floor because i didn't want to wake up my dog to move him (seven times)
  • LEO: got called pretentious and reacted by looking up the word pretentious in the dictionary to find the exact definition to prove my accuser wrong (age 13)
  • VIRGO: printed out a chart to cross reference all of the possible places i could purchase cadbury eggs at any given time
  • LIBRA: forgot to sleep for two days
  • SCORPIO: became jealous of the video game "skyrim" because my significant other spent more time playing it than talking to me
  • SAGITTARIUS: learned how to tie my shoes wrong, still tie them wrong today (age 16)
  • CAPRICORN: named my first goldfish "Goldfish #1"
  • AQUARIUS: accidentally told my 68 year old grandfather to "suck it or pay up"
  • PISCES: cried so hard at the movie "brother bear" that my mother had to escort me from the theater because people were complaining

How to create the signs

moonsmells:

Aries:
1 cup fire
2 cups snuggles
5 cups energy
a dash of emotion
2 cups passion

Taurus:
3 cups knowledge
6 cups patience
1 tablespoon of annoyance
1 cup love
2 cups of thoughtfulness

Gemini:
2 tablespoons of know it all
1 cup of laughter
3 cups of sarcasm
2 cups of words
1 cup of playfulness

Cancer:
5 cups of emotion
1 teaspoon anger
3 cups understanding
2 tablespoons of sweetness
1 cup love
3 tablespoons humor

Leo:
2 cups sunshine
1 tablespoon of friendship
7 cups of joy
1 cup of sass
A dash of fire

Virgo:
1 cup secrecy
4 cups curiosity
2 cups listening
½ tablespoon bad jokes
2 cups understanding

Libra:
8 cups optimism
2 cups of indecisiveness
1 cup playfulness
2 tablespoons laughter
1 cup flirtation
3 cups sweetness

Scorpio:
1 cup mystery
2 cups of dark humor
5 cups of thoughtfulness
1 cup music
½ cup of emotion

Sagittarius:
5 cups jokes
2 cups of ideas
9 cups silliness
1 tablespoon originality
4 cups freedom

Capricorn:
3 cups responsibility
2 cups dry humor
2 cups books
2 tablespoons nurturing
1 cup knowledge

Aquarius:
1 cup rainbows
5 cups stubborn
A sprinkle of emotion
2 cups passion
1 cup leadership
½ cup laughter

Pisces:
1 cup imagination
2 cups fairy tales
4 cups caring
1 cup love
5 cups sweetness
1 cup mystery

the signs as things i've yelled at other drivers on the highway

  • aries: "i would beep at you right now if i wasn't so nice. YOU'RE LUCKY I'M SO FUCKING NICE"
  • taurus: "you're not allowed to be this close to me without at least BUYING ME DINNER FIRST"
  • gemini: "WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE? SPONGEBOB????"
  • cancer: "you're a GOSH DARN MENACE"
  • leo: "i really hope your boyfriend likes it when you ride his ass, BECAUSE I DON'T"
  • virgo: "FUCK YOU AND YOUR FORD FOCUS"
  • libra: "you're making me EVEN MORE LATE TO WORK THAN I WAS ORIGINALLY"
  • sagittarius: *immortan joe voice* "MEDIOCRE!"
  • scorpio: "if i ever marry someone who drives like you i will DIVORCE THEM ON THE SPOT. RIGHT THERE ON THE HIGHWAY. WATCH ME."
  • capricorn: "HOW IS YOUR KID ON THE HONOR ROLL BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN READ THE SPEED LIMIT SIGN???"
  • aquarius: "MEET ME IN THE PIT, BRENDA"
  • pisces: *high pitched screaming as i change lanes*

the signs as things my dad has said

gin-flower:

breadmaakesyoufat:

Aries: i will fight anyone that eats my toast

Taurus: where did i put my glasses, i need them to see

Gemini: i may be asian, but i cant fix your iphone

Cancer: i cried at the end of despicable me two

Leo: it was a very good pun, you should’ve been there

Virgo: whats the English word for “the horses that spin around with music” 

Libra: what is “hella”? 

Scorpio: i want cheese fries, where the hell are my cheese fries

Sagittarius: dont talk to the dog like that

Capricorn: can you reach that for me, i am very small

Aquarius: “anime”?

Pisces: you have to go to bed early because you smell

this is my favorite so far

The signs as bears

officialpoohbear:

yumikuri:

aries: ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง

taurus: ʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃ

gemini: ʕ•̫͡•ʔ →ʕ•̫͡•̫͡•ʔ →ʕ•̫͡•=•̫͡•ʔ →ʕ•̫͡•ʔ ʕ•̫͡•ʔ

cancer: ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ

leo: ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

virgo: ʕ ◔ᴥ◔ ʔ

libra: Σʕﾟᴥﾟﾉʔﾉ

scorpio: ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

saggitarius:  ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ ก้้้้้้้้้้้

capricorn: ʕ ” ￣ Ĺ̯ ￣ ” ʔ

aquarius: ʕ•͡ω•ʔ

pisces: くコ:彡

at last, some relatable content on this bear-erasing website