Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?
They ship of theseus’d my girl
Can’t have shit in Detroit
this actually perfectly demonstrates the transitive property of memes: you can replace a meme piece by piece until it only structurally resembles the original, and it is, in fact, the same meme.
call that the meme of theseus thesis
tumblrites can have a little intertextuality as a treat
my naym is ship and when i’m broke the broken part from me they toke
replace the part had been the plan but in the morn hand door car man
Hot dog water - there’s a Tumblr post out there I’ve seen saying hot dog water is the opposite of holy water, due to the fact that a single drop of it will contaminate what it touches. I assume this was partly inspired by this allusion but who knows for sure.
Also the the idea of holy water as inhuman and cleaning vs hot dog water as the remains of feeding someone - often a child - and entirely human. It may be dirty and I do not want it on me but God hot dog water has some memories. You will not wash away my sins. They’re mine. Also, anyone can make hot dog water but holy water is refined, restricted (yes anyone can make it in an emergency but lay people are restricted from it)
“you and I both know”
Unlike baptism for babies, this one is done between two people who are both aware of what is happening. The one receiving the baptism gives the orders about what they want to happen. The giver and receiver are portrayed as equals. They are equally aware of their humanity.
“the holy stuff won’t take”
Ooof heartbreaking, amazing line. Raises so many questions. What does it mean when the water “takes”? What has the receiver done that makes them unfit for holy water? Or, what has the holy water done that makes it to weak to help, to be a part of your life?
The poem as a whole - I love the lack of capitalization. It adds a sort of intimacy to the poem, and the statement from the speaker. The high words “baptise” and “holy” being offset by “take” and “hot dog”. Also “hot dog water” vs “holy stuff.” The cadence! I would lick it.
I love the serious analysis, and I think I find it persuasive.
This also sheds a lot of light on some plot points in Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated.
Not to turn this into another house full of chintz, but I'mma fuck this poem on the floor.
Meter
There are two readings of the poem’s meter that I immediately identify, the first is how I’d want to read it, and the second is how a normal person would probably read it, but both make the same point.
In my interpretation (left), the first line is four wholely irregular feet: an iamb into a dibrach into two trochees; The second line is two trouches into a hanging stressed syllable; And the third line is three iambs.
In the more normal interpretation(right), the first line and second line are six trochees all together plus that hanging syllable in ‘knowing’ which transitions the poem to iambic trimeter.
And look at the interesting result of that laid bare:
In English poetry there’s a tradition, all other things being equal, that iambs are considered the sophisticated foot with trochees often being contrasted as the vulgar or common foot.
The vulgar in specificity “hot dog water” is put in trochee, while the respectably vague “the holy stuff” is afforded iambs. Without the poet having thought of the stress things the pattern actively, this incapulation of the English poetic tradition is astounding. Especially when you consider the
Chiasmus
Chiasmus is a figure of rhetorical construction, in which two pairs of ideas are laid across each other, A B B A. It’s one of the more popular figures of rhetoric and if you’re looking for it you’ll see it everywhere.
In the most literal sense, it’s about repetition; but, you can apply it more liberally to ideas, thoughts, or in this case, parts of speech:
The nouns and verb pairs in the first and third lines crossover each other. They are in chiasmus. Structurally, the inversion makes the poem feel more solid, while still furthering emphasizing the contrast between the idea of hot dog water and the holy stuff.
Tumblr combines a system wherein posts can keep circulating for decades with a completely broken search function, so there have been multiple occasions where I have searched in vain for *years* for a particular legendary post only to have it come by again long after I have forgotten it.
A few weeks ago I tried explaining to my non tumblr friends what blorbo/eeby deeby/glup shitto/scrunglo/plinko was and it almost gave all of us an aneurysm
This was the post I was trying to explain. This was how I looked
Yeah I can see how this would feel like having a stroke to an outsider
We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.
For my nominations, I’m putting up:
If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
or
It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.
this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful
Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.
if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.
We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.
I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.
all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)
i can’t watch movies containing naval warfare for the same reason some horse lovers can’t watch historic war movies where horses get shot
yes, i know the cannonballs aren’t real. yes, i understand the ships are only pretending to sink. and yet, I am distress
Don’t worry! The boats just turn into submarines when the sink! They don’t actually take any damage, they just travel underwater to get a snack for being such good boats!
logically i know this, but it’s still reassuring to hear someone say it out aloud
And! When they do a really really really good job they are given boat belly rubs! and an extra warm boat bath! I am glad I could be of help to reassure you my friend!
why do we praise boats like this boats are an invasive species and danger to the ocean and all of its natural wildlife like sharks and shipwreaks
okay wow that is a MASSIVE generalization, the boat genus has evolved over thousands of years and consists of hundreds of subspecies many of which are perfectly capable of living as part of a balanced aquatic ecosystem. boats aren’t automatically evil just because *you personally* think they’re big and scary.
“you have tumblr?” he asked, his fingers twitching towards my phone.
“..yeah, do you want to post something?” i offered the phone to him, blinking innocently.
he took the phone, his hands lightly shaking as he typed his sentence of choice. ’today i saw a balloon :3’ there is no context for this. he simply wanted to state an untrue fact. he hands my phone back. i stare at him for a moment.
