Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
I was told today that I, a disabled trans person with very little job security, am complicit in transphobia every time I don’t call out my colleagues for their transphobic jokes. so. I just want to say:
you’re allowed to do the thing that will keep you safe
keeping yourself safe is the morally correct thing to do
you do not have to make yourself more vulnerable than you already are
you do not have to out yourself in dangerous situations
we need trans people to stay alive right now
save your energy for the fights that matter the most
I support calling transphobes out on their bigotry, and I support protecting other trans people, but please don’t feel bad if you can’t do that. if you are a particularly vulnerable trans person I would actively encourage you to make an action plan for these kinds of tricky situations
and to cis people who are in relatively safe positions: THIS is why it’s so important that you speak up for us. if you are able to do so, please intervene when your fellow cis people are being transphobic. we need allies now more than ever
i’ve been thinking and i think a lot of celebrity discourse wouldn’t be a thing if more people understood how PR works and that these famous people have been carefully curated as products for consumption 99% of the time. the reason a lot of actors seem so much like their characters is because, a lot of the time, they’re deliberately playing that aspect of themselves up to promote the project they’re in. why do you think so many straight actors starring in gay films have vaguely gay anecdotes prepared for interviews? why do you think leads promoting rom-coms often play up their chemistry in interviews? none of it is accidental. pedro pascal isn’t walking around calling himself daddy because he happens to genuinely call himself that. it makes him more marketable. i think a lot of us know that celebrities’ public personas are curated, but it doesn’t stick because we want to be entertained and to like these people. the more I interact with PR people as part of my job and am made aware of the “rules” surrounding celebrity interactions and interviews - the more I’ve realised just how much of a performance all of it is. now i am not saying it’s a Bad thing, i think this curation is mostly in place to protect privacy and keep promotion focused on the show/film. but i don’t think it would hurt for more people and fans to remember that almost everything you know and see about celebrities is incredibly curated and tunnel-visioned to make them living breathing promo material for whatever they’re in, which is to say that these are the last people who should be looked to as role models for moral and ethical guidance because they aren’t *for* that.
Anonymous:
hi i saw ur post and i'm curious why did you start hrt even though you don't have dysphoria? that transmed obviously doesn't understand that gender/gender identity doesn't necessarily have anything to do with biological sex/transition status. i just wasn't aware that there were people who start hrt for reasons other than being unhappy with their body. and if you're willing to share i'd love to know your perspective
(hope this isn't too intrusive please don't feel obligated to respond)
Firstly, it’s important to understand the choices of how someone can feel about there body aren’t just “so awful I want to die” and “so happy I can’t believe it”. There’s a lot of feelings in between those two extremes!
You don’t have to be suffering to want to improve your life or your body.
Someone can want to go from “fine” to “really happy”.
I started HRT even though I didn’t have dysphoria because I knew that I could feel better than “fine” or “ok”.
It’s like going through life without glasses when you’re just a little nearsighted. Can you function? Yeah! But could life be better if you could see clearly! Also yes!!
And why not wear glasses? Just because it’s “not natural”? Just because you were “born nearsighted” so you have to “live nearsighted”? Fuck that! Wear the glasses!
And of course there’s options! Contacts and surgery, etc! So many frame choices!
And, sometimes, once you put those glasses on and live with them for a bit… you realise you did actually get headaches kinda often, and now you don’t… so maybe there was some hidden discomfort you’d just been living with unknowingly.
But even if you don’t discover secret dysphoria after starting HRT, non-dysphoric people on HRT are ALL VALID!
look.. i’m here for transgirls as much as the next guy. but honestly, after a while the oh i’d fuck her. id let her fuck me posts, start to scream objectification and hypersexualization. if your only support for trans women is how fuckable you think they are… you’re not really supporting them are you?
like yeah.. the dolls are hot asf and very fuckable.. but bitch did you know she can paint? or is a designer? or has extensive knowledge about birds? maybe sis is holding down 3 jobs right now! have you asked that woman if she needs a hug? like damn.
i haaaate when iris by the goo goo dolls comes in when i’m in a store how am i supposed to act normal when you can’t fight the tears that ain’t comin or the moment of truth in your lies when everything feels like the movies yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive
