cipheramnesia:

normal-horoscopes:

If you go to the American Midwest there’s a wizard living in the corn and if you catch him you get three wishes.

Yes, yes. Just go into the corn fields. Nothing will harm you in the corn fields, no, nothing. That’s right, the corn is perfectly safe, perfectly sane, step right in and walk among the rows. Just keep walking deeper into the corn. It is perfectly safe. Nothing will harm you.

rvengefulobster:

thezohar:

spontaneousmusicalnumber:

That Midwest feel: When the tornado sirens go off and you panic for a second before remembering “Oh, it’s Wednesday”

what does this mean

It means it’s Wednesday, bro. If a tornado hits on a Wednesday it can’t hurt you. Those are the rules.

the-nurse:

thepioden:

sadgaywerewolf:

“You wouldn’t be able to deal with OUR weather”

Son I am from the MIDWEST it is 120 in the summer and -30 in the Winter get on my LEVEL

I’m fairly certain the entire midwest is just a massive corn-pollen hallucination though

Son I am from the Midwest and I’m fairly certain you are correct.

copperbadge:

thewitchesofeastwood:

madcitypaxie:

h0odrich:

im convinced the midwest is not a real place, theres no civilization or home training, no morals, no guidance, no people, just corn and demons

As a midwesterner, I can confirm that this shit is totally fucking true.

And there’s really not that much corn.

In Chicago, we also have hot dogs!

(Deep Dish counts as “demons”.)

When people think of Michigan, I think they imagine cities like Detroit or beautiful lakeshores, but most of it is just trees and corn. (and alfalfa and sugar beets and corn)