biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

“why do we even have that lever” is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)

i find implications hilarious:

1. kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn’t even manage that
2. but on the other hand, it’s easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one’s on yzma tbh
3. yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just…just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn’t need to have a function
4. upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: “why do we even HAVE that lever?” it’s because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. “why do we have that lever?” because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!

brightlotusmoon:

kat-witha-k:

theterriblethingabouttulio:

flavinbagel:

qqueenofhades:

detectivehole:

detectivehole:

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids’ movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn’t get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned “hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality” summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk (“so he seems nice? He’s what, in his late twenties?”) and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha’s fake wife and dressing up in ladies’ clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress’ “bless you for coming out in public” remark when Pacha says they’re on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don’t see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

This is fucking insane

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Originally posted by muvana

wymanthewalrus:

treekarusblog:

wymanthewalrus:

buffet-anarchist:

wymanthewalrus:

omalleyred:

I know who we all REALLY want to see in Disney’s live action reboots.

Did I ever tell you guys how I actually semi-officially changed the canon of this movie

Oh?

Yeah I got one of the lead writers to make something canon with help from my roommate and his dad.

give us the deets

Ok so this all started with a fan theory I read on Reddit. Basically the theory was that since the only animals in the movie that are shown to be capable of speech used to be human, then any animal that can talk was at one point a human.

On Kuzco’s first night alone in the jungle, he sees a fly in a spiderweb. The fly screams “HELP ME” then gets eaten.

The theory was that that fly used to be human.

So my roommate really liked that theory and said “hey my dad is actually friends with the guy who wrote Emperor’s New Groove, he can ask him to confirm that theory for us.” (I’m not naming names here I don’t wanna get sued)

So a couple days later we get screenshots of my roommate’s dad’s email asking about the theory and the lead writer’s response:

“The fly is… Kuzco’s late father.”

My roommate’s dad: “is that canon?”

Writer: “It is now.”

So Kuzco’s dad was turned into an animal by Yzma, we assume, as part of her ploy to take the throne. It makes SENSE.

And that’s how I helped change the canon of a major Disney movie.