Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
I wish I was kidding but I have a mental list of star trek doctors ranked by how much I’d hate corresponding with them about their research
ranking of star trek doctors (in series that I have seen) from best to worst bc @diesoonandsuffer requested that I elaborate:
1. bashir. younger researchers usually do fine at navigating the manuscript submission system on their own and are typically polite if they need to ask questions. bonus points for having a speciality in pediatrics bc they also tend to be way more pleasant to correspond with.
2. crusher. as with julian, I probably wouldn’t hear from her because she would rather figure as much out as she could on her own. if she did have to contact me about a system error or something, she wouldn’t necessarily be wildly personable in her correspondence just bc she’s got shit to do but it wouldn’t be an unpleasant encounter.
3. pulaski. there’s a specific type that come across as really brusque in initial emails to the point that im a little nervous that things will escalate, but the moment I get back to them with helpful information they’re very nice, and I think that would be her. not a peak encounter but there’s definitely worse.
4. mccoy. would not know how to work the submission system. would be furious about having to do it at all. would probably make me cry or at least have to get up and walk around the house seething. one time I had a dream about medical professionals that were mad at me breaking into my house and I think this would happen with mccoy. he might be nice over the phone if I sounded stressed enough but we’d have to get to that point first.
EMH: would think he’s being perfectly polite but would spend ten minutes bragging about his research while being extremely condescending without even noticing it. Might awkwardly apologise if pointed out to him.
you just know there were no such thing as good grades at Enabren Tain’s School For Turning Lizard Toddlers Into Black Widow . his grown adult forty-year-old son comes to see him and he’s like a seamstress now and makes pretty good money at it and tain points to his shirt like “did you make that?” and he’s like “yeah :) i did :)” and tain’s like “well the neckline sucks” you know the best you could ever hope to get graded was C-, this grade-school spy shows no initiative re: poison testing and cannot sneak around my house adequately despite years of practice trying to get at the snacks, which he knows are for me
crusher is the easiest star trek doctor to get weed (not replicated) from and i think the guy from voyager is the hardest
if you walk into sickbay on the enterprise and tell bev you’re anxious she’ll just give you whatever and tell you about the new strains she’s breeding in her back office but i feel like voydoc makes you fill out forms and do a full evaluation of your symptoms. mccoy gives you his shake without asking any questions so you’ll leave faster, conversely bashir has “premiere quality flower” (he says this) but will invite himself to smoke it with you every time
Which is why everyone ends up getting their supply from Garak.
