romssidewaystooth:

Every time I see a new theory about sexual dimorphism in an alien species that accounts for trans people by saying that like, X trait is only seen on male characters so a female alien with this trait is trans… it’s like. Ok? But I don’t think you’re doing trans people any favors by putting an emphasis on individual traits as reliable indications of ASAB. Aren’t you just recreating How To Spot A Trans but with aliens? I realize I might sound like an overly serious killjoy here, so you’ll have to bear with me for a minute, but like, even not counting trans and/or intersex humans, the idea of secondary sex characteristics as reliable indicators of sex is awfully shaky.

As a trans person, I’m comforted by the fact that, pretty much no matter what secondary sex characteristic you pick out on my body, there is a cis person of my gender out there who has the same trait. The idea of crafting a world where this is not the case, where trans people have these kinds of noticeable, fixed differences due to extreme dimorphism… that doesn’t sit well with me. I mean, you can do whatever you want, but I don’t like that it reinforces the attitude of trans people being seen as So Different from other people of their gender when the reality of the situation is we’re really not! I mean, a little, sure, there are trends of certain traits and whatnot, but the whole thing is massively overemphasized.

That’s how you get situations where you could hold up a group photo which is actually of 10 cis women, tell someone that one of the women is trans, and they’d find a trans woman in the photo! As soon as they hear “trans” they immediately start assigning dramatic back stories to traits that they’d think NOTHING of on your average cis woman! And people frequently have no awareness of the preposterous degree to which they are doing this. Which is why it bothers me when people unthinkingly recreate this dynamic even for fictional trans characters. It speaks to these distorted ideas of real-life trans people being so, well, alien to their cis counterparts. It’s ok to be different, of course, but we’re not actually That Different and I think it’s a disservice to maintain the idea that we are.

How about “some people of this alien race have X, some don’t, and it might be more common with men or women, but bodies are diverse so who cares?” I feel like this would be a more appropriate trans-inclusive spin. Again, you can do what you want in your own mind, but it would be nice if people had an awareness of what potentially harmful real-life attitudes they might be building off of.

friskyhappyhippie:

…going to the hardware store for milk.

Quote of the day: STOP GOING TO THE HARDWARE STORE FOR MILK. “I was introduced to this expression the other day by a friend of this page and I’m in love with it already. Please interpret as you like, as it applies to your own life. Is there a love relationship that isn’t working out for you, because you keep trying to get milk from that hardware store — and all they offer is hammers and drills? Is there a job that isn’t working out for you, because you keep wandering the aisles of that hardware store, looking for milk, and coming up with…well…screws? Is there a spiritual or religious path that has become frustrating for you, because every time you ask them for sweet, sweet milk, they merely direct you to the section of the store that sells plumbing equipment and padlocks? Is there a city that you can’t stand living in anymore, because they simply don’t sell the kind of milk there that you need? Do you find yourself getting angry at the hardware store (whatever “hardware store” may represent for you) for never having milk — instead of asking yourself why you keep searching for milk at a place that never gives you anything but cans of paint-thinner and turpentine? Is it maybe time to stop going to the hardware store for milk? Is it time to admit this isn’t working? Is it maybe time to find your nourishment elsewhere? DISCUSS.“ (Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert)