Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
one can instantly free oneself from the chains of identity discourse by simply conceiving of sexuality as something that is dialectical and not metaphysical
your sexuality does not exist within you, nor does it exist as an immutable wholly external ideal to be discovered. your sexuality is locatable only within your interaction with and relations to the world around you
Before I get into this, I’m just going to say that this is mostly tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be taken terribly seriously. Altho, if you want to send me anon hate over a post about sexuality and gender in alien fucking, go ahead.
I really feel like sexuality labels start meaning less when we get into being attracted to aliens. Even if someone is only attracted to aliens of the opposite gender, are they straight? Really? Can we even confidently apply human gender to alien species?
Obviously we accept when an alien tells us their gender. But we have to assume they are influenced by their own culture and by their understanding of our culture, both of which are highly subjective. Humans can’t even decide on a set definition of gender within our own species. To assume we can properly understand the gender of another species is arrogance.
The other point here is that, in my opinion, attraction to aliens is inherently queer. It is outside the norm of cishet human sexuality, so, again in my opinion, if someone is attracted to an alien, they are not straight.
Anyway this is all to say that Julian Bashir was never straight to begin with, friends. No matter what Berman&Co thought they were portraying.
if your sexuality feels constricting or like a set of rules you HAVE follow then maybe you just… aren’t that sexuality pal
like this literally goes for everyone not just lesbians like if you’re straight but wish you weren’t so you could fuck someone then i have good news for you!
Before I get into this, I’m just going to say that this is mostly tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be taken terribly seriously. Altho, if you want to send me anon hate over a post about sexuality and gender in alien fucking, go ahead.
I really feel like sexuality labels start meaning less when we get into being attracted to aliens. Even if someone is only attracted to aliens of the opposite gender, are they straight? Really? Can we even confidently apply human gender to alien species?
Obviously we accept when an alien tells us their gender. But we have to assume they are influenced by their own culture and by their understanding of our culture, both of which are highly subjective. Humans can’t even decide on a set definition of gender within our own species. To assume we can properly understand the gender of another species is arrogance.
The other point here is that, in my opinion, attraction to aliens is inherently queer. It is outside the norm of cishet human sexuality, so, again in my opinion, if someone is attracted to an alien, they are not straight.
Anyway this is all to say that Julian Bashir was never straight to begin with, friends. No matter what Berman&Co thought they were portraying.
Anonymous:
i apologize for being nosy, and please don't answer this if you don't want to, but i remember a few years ago you had identified as asexual and i was wondering if you still do? i did for a long time but i'm with a new partner now and i'm starting to wonder if maybe the connection just wasn't right with anyone before and that's why i wasn't into having sex? is that normal? i mean, i identified that way for YEARS so i'm just. very confused at myself.
I mean listen, I’m in my 30s. These labels don’t mean a lot to me anymore. Like, literally everything is normal. Everything is fine so long as nobody’s feelings are being hurt. Don’t worry about some label that used to be useful maybe not being useful anymore. Thank it for its service and let it retire. Maybe one day it will be useful again. That doesn’t change anything about you, because you are, and always have been, a complex, multifaceted, constantly changing kaleidoscope of emotional and sexual needs, and “asexual” is just a word that helped you make sense of it for a while.
Like, y’all, give yourselves a break. Sex is complicated. Some people are straight their whole lives, and then they meet one person who changes everything. Some people are one thing for a while, then they’re another thing, then they go back to being the first thing. Some people stay one thing forever. Some people are really into something in their 20s that grosses them out to even think about for the rest of their lives. All if it’s normal.
The words you put on your orientation are not elementally a part of you. They are tools, and as tools they should serve a function. That function can be to help you understand and categorize your own experiences and desires. It can be to help you find a community. It can be to help you get laid. It can just be to set social expectations. These words can be a revelation when you first apply them to yourself: they can be life-saving. But you are not beholden to them.
“Idk, I thought of myself as ace for a long time, but I’m into my current partner, so like, enh? I’m having a good time and my partner and I are both happy, so I guess labels aren’t really useful to me right now” can be all you have to say on the subject.
The words you put on your orientation are not elementally a part of you. They are tools, and as tools they should serve a function. That function can be to help you understand and categorize your own experiences and desires. It can be to help you find a community. It can be to help you get laid. It can just be to set social expectations. These words can be a revelation when you first apply them to yourself: they can be life-saving. But you are not beholden to them.
normalize autistic people having sex lives. normalize autistic people expressing sexual attraction. normalize autistic people having, boyfriends, girlfriends, or datemates. normalize autistic people masturbating. normalize hypersexual autistic people. normalize autistic people having friends with benefits and casual sex. stop infantilizing autistic people & acting like we don’t want sex or relationships.
Anonymous: Why do you people make up genders and sexualities?
Because the limited orientations that exist in the public sphere of knowledge do not provide adequate coverage. It’s also worth noting that no one is making up genders or sexualities, they are simply making up new words to describe them. That is actually how language works, it’s adaptive… unlike some of the people who use it.
I keep having this thought of how the world would be different if the ‘default’ for people was asexual/agender instead of heterosexual/cisgender. I’d read that book, if someone wrote it.
Like if when kids were born, they were just considered to be a/a until they reached puberty or whatever, and then they could declare themselves to be whatever feels right. And they could change their minds at any point too, and everyone would be supportive. We’d have no more gendered toys or media or clothing for children. Instead, they would be exposed to models of all different ways of living by family, community, school, and the media.
Someone write this book for me, please. Thank you.
