Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
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Two trans men in love: Sky, aged 64. Mike, aged 55.
Y'all don’t know what rural love looks like. Y'all don’t know. We got 6'2" burly fellas rolling in from the logging camps like “yeah I’m looking for a packer for my boyfriend”. We got welders coming in after work and you gotta ask em to scrape off their boots at the door and their hands are black with gunk so we gotta help em sift through the strap ons. Three ladies come in wearing floral dresses with their hair in rings like they just got out of church and you ain’t sure if they’re together or just friends but when they leave they’re all holding hands and one gives another a kiss. Old fella with a walker comes in for some lacy lingerie. 85 year old widow is going on a first date since her husband passed. People are people all over the place, it’s not different when you can’t see it
“Using stereotypes as the basis for queer headcanons can be very hurtful” and “certain stereotypes have been used in historical queer coding, and queer people are allowed to have complex relationships with that coding” are thoughts that can co-exist.
For example, writing/headcanoning all bitchy single women as lesbians CAN be lesbophobic, but “bitchy and single” was used as classic Hollywood Hays Code era lesbian coding, so plenty of sapphic actresses and writers used that as their sneaky way to represent themselves. They had to make a choice between “problematic rep” and “no rep whatsoever.” A queer woman looking at a character with that coding and saying, “oh, she’s queer like me!” isn’t a bad thing.
Problematic queer tropes should be engaged with and deconstructed critically, not blacklisted as “this is always hurtful and never positive and nobody is allowed to interact with it because it’s Offensive.”
There is an entire history of queer media being censored, and queer people only allowed to exist in media as long as they’re portrayed as evil and traumatized. We have to remember that when we analyze queer media, and take care to remember why certain coding exists.
you’re also allowed to like shit because you find it to be fun and sexy regardless of how homosexual or homophobic the writers may have happened to be when they put it in.
like, you don’t have to exist in a sort of wretched penitent state of injury and longing towards Problematic Queer Representation. you can just say, hey, fuck it, ursula the sea witch was a big fat drag queen and she was also balls-out evil and that’s extremely cash money of her and i’m into it. you can say, yeah that gay man on screen is a mincing effeminate little fairy and that does it for me, he’s hot and i love it. i want to be like that. i want to get with that. you don’t have to be This Traumatized To Ride. you don’t have to crawl through the fucking desert, repenting.
it’s better to engage with media critically–that is, with an academic focus on means and motive–than to dismiss it entirely, yeah. but also your relationship with problematic queer media doesn’t necessarily have to be complex, to come with caveats, to involve introspection and the delicate dissection of the self out in the operating theater of the internet.
We also need to tell queer teens shit. Here’s a list. I’m tired
-you don’t need to lose ur virginity at whatever age
-you don’t need to date the only other queer kid in ur school
-queer people can b problematic. And abusive.
- people who are queer in one way can still be queerphobic in another way (ex: wlw TERFs)
- it’s not cishets’ place to decide the right way to express your queerness
- it’s especially no one’s place to decide what’s too masculine or feminine for you
- gender presentation does not equal gender identity. You can look however you want even if it doesn’t “match” your gender
- there will always be an asshole gatekeeping and telling you you’re not queer enough. They are an asshole and should be ignored
- pedophiles still exist in the queer community
- the only person who decides when/if you come out to your friends and family is you
- people can be queer and still be queerphobic in THAT way. You internalize shit and that’s gotta be worked on.
- “Phases” are absolutely ok and are actually a natural part of exploring your identity. Don’t feel ashamed for changing and growing as you discover yourself, and don’t shame others for it either.
- There’s nothing wrong with ID’ing as Ace or Aro as a teen. The possibility of you being a “late bloomer” doesn’t invalidate how you feel right now, and please don’t feel like you need to push yourself outside of your comfort zone just to fit in or earn others’ approval.
- There’s no shame in staying in the closet if the closet is keeping you safe.
- And for the love of god theres no such thing as “gay outfits” and “straight outfits” just wear whatever makes you happy
anyway here’s your reminder that lgbt muslims exist and islamophobia shouldnt be tolerated within lgbt communities!
shout out to lgbt muslims living in places where our identities are still criminalised.
btw i encourage everyone especially non muslim lgbt ppl to reblog this. if you see islamophobia within the community, you should help us instead of telling us our religion is ‘horrible’
