Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
I’ve recently found out that many of you don’t know what hemorrhoids are, other than being an “old person butt problem.”
Well, congratulations; you’ve made it. You’re now old enough to deal with hemorrhoids.
President Lincoln is here to teach you about what they are and how to deal with them, because unfortunately, as the butt of many jokes, nobody ever actually takes them seriously.
So, you wake up one day, you go to the bathroom, and you find that your anus? Is bleeding.
@ my UK followers, I know the heat is terrible and your buildings and homes are not designed to deal with that. As someone who lives in an area that is very hot and humid in the summers and is prone to heat exaustion, if I could recommed one product, it would be one of these bad boys:
The brand doesn’t matter. Just look up “cooling towel” on amazon or wherever. Get it wet with cool water and it will STAY cool for a long time. Wrap it around your neck or forehead for tremendous relief. This is my secret weapon when I’m stuck outside in extreme heat.
PSA, as we enter a recession (or are already in one, depending on who you ask)…
now is NOT the time to join a multilevel marketing business.
it’s never the time (because they’re pyramid schemes) but now is ESPECIALLY not the time, and they’re gonna be out in full force trying to recruit people, especially if we start seeing widespread lay offs
If someone wants to offer you a “job opportunity” but won’t tell you the name of the company, RUN
if a company requires you to purchase a starter kit, FUCKING RUN
if someone invites you to an “opportunity call” or otherwise pitches this “opportunity” to you, and it’s just a whole bunch of love-bombing and motivational speaking, RUN
if you cannot “rank up” in the company without recruiting more people to your team (aka downline), RUN
if you already joined one, cut your losses and quit now. seriously
if your friends/family join them, do not buy from them, even if it’s just to support them… buying from people who join MLMs gives them false confidence that they will succeed, and it keeps them in longer, and ultimately they will lose more money, and probably damage a lot of their relationships along the way
99% of people either make no money, or worse, LOSE money, in multilevel marketing. They’re scams and commercial cults and the “recession proof industry” marketing campaigns are already well underway, especially in MLMs that are currently on the brink of collapse (like Monat)
don’t be fooled. there is no opportunity. it’s not a job. it’s a scam
(also, watch out for their alternate names… network marketing and social selling are just synonyms for multilevel marketing.)
Eta: if you’re not sure if a company is an MLM, Google it. There’s an entire database online for this. Search “is [X] an mlm” and if it is, you’ll find a wealth of information about how their scams work.
For those not in the loop, a guest commenter named Alice Harper (or Alice, or Preeti) has been going ‘round the comments of Taskmaster fics on AO3 (I’m only aware of Taskmaster at the moment, but I assume others have been hit as well) to ask if they’re interested in participating in a new show about fanfiction.
The show is real; it will be hosted by Mel Giedroyc and will feature celebrities reading out their own RPF with a focus on smut/erotica, acted out with puppets.
It appears that Channel 4 doesn’t have an AO3 account, so anyone whose fics are user-locked should be safe.
I wanted to let everyone who follows me or reads my fics know that if that should change, I will be backing up and then temporarily deleting my fics. I’ll repost everything as soon as the situation seems to have blown over. (See update)
I can only speak for myself, but I deeply, deeply do not want anyone I’ve written about to ever have to cross paths with my writing. I feel that what Channel 4 is doing is intrusive and ill-advised and would counsel any fellow RPF writers to lock their fics to users-only or at the very least tell Alice Harper to, in not so many words, fuck off.
Update:
Courtesy of some folks in the TM fandom, the list of fandoms that have so far received Alice’s comments are:
Mock the Week, Taskmaster, Pointless, The Chase, Take That, and 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
It spans all ratings and gen, slash, and reader-insert, and fics as old as 2014.
@pandaroboto was kind enough to provide part of her correspondence over email with Alice. I’ve pasted part below; emphasis is my own (for my fellow ADD-squirrels)
We are looking for brilliant fanfiction writers, like yourself, to write bespoke stories about our celebrity guests. We are gathering stories from different writers which we’ll edit into one story.
If this is something that you’d be interested in doing we can give you a few starting points on the other celebrity guests and ask you to write stories about them. As well as using elements of your existing stories too (to be discussed with you).
After being asked about the guests, she added,
That’s correct, our celebs are well known British celebrities. We can give you options, you tell us who you know the most about, we can also give you any additional info you might like on them. We’ll also give you some steers on what we’d like the story to be about.
They are apparently offering to pay only if the story is ultimately used and broadcast.
In summation, Channel 4 is contacting RPF writers to write smut about the guests they’ve booked, based on their prompts, which they will have their own writers stitch into a narrative. Presumably, to be presented to the celebrities under the guise that this is some Internet Weirdo’s Totally Original Work.
You can form your own opinions, but I’m not touching this with a ten foot pole.
To my own followers and readers: I am no longer planning a mass deletion if Channel 4 gets ahold of an AO3 account. Since they’re not using existing work but rather attempting to 'contract’ fic-writers, I’m not worried about them taking what I’ve posted. (And let’s be real, Captains No Social Media and Repression Central are not going to be the first to agree to this show) Carry on as usual.
Yeah here’s what’s going on with the channel 4 puppet fucking thing I mentioned yesterday. I put together that fandom list (it took many many many hours. That’s probably an understatement…). I’m not going to go in to which fics exactly got commented on on here since I don’t know if its a good idea to have that info easily spreadable. I think I know who 3 of the 6 guests might be though
When you think it can’t get worse…
The source for that is the sun and its not reported anywhere else so I’m really not sure I believe it
I’ll add that my RPF fics are locked and I have not been contacted. It does seem like the channel 4 show runners are contacting people whose fics are public and inviting them to write original work, which isn’t as bad as it could be, but it’s still gross.
So I’ve already documented my interactions with them in this post. I think I must have been one of the first people they hit. These people have absolutely no idea what the fuck they’re doing. They expressed shock that I told them to fuck off, and I actually sent them an email after this explaining that television only exploits fans and they will continue to get negative responses, just ones that weren’t as mean.
I haven’t locked anything except that specific story, because fuck em if they can’t take a joke, but here we are.
“If anyone needs to go camping in my state…” “If anyone needs to visit their aunt/cousin/friend…”
STOP. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.
FOR YOUR SAFETY, S T O P.
DO NOT VOLUNTEER TO HOST RANDOM STRANGERS. DO NOT AGREE TO BE HOSTED BY A RANDOM STRANGER.
DO NOT PUBLICLY POST THAT YOUR HOUSE WILL BE AN ABORTION SAVE HAVEN. OFFICIAL NETWORKS TO DO THIS ALREADY EXIST, NETWORKS THAT HAVE THE ABILITY TO BACKGROUND CHECK, AND SHIELD THEIR VOLUNTEERS FROM LAW ENFORCEMENT.
Even IF you personally know every person you’re offering this to and know with 100% certainty that they’re legit: YOU HAVE JUST CREATED A POTENTIALLY LEGALLY DAMNING DIGITAL PAPER TRAIL.
I know how obnoxious this is to say, but please: reblog this. I see these posts a lot, and I know most of you have good intentions. But these unoffical auntie networks are dangerous, both for those trying to help, and those seeking help. Law enforcement sees you. Violent anti-abortion extremists see you.
OK, as an embryologist who has worked in andrology for years before, I need folks to know something.
Vasectomies are NOT 100% reversible.
If you or a partner are considering one, and you think that there is even a SLIGHT chance you might want children in the future, BANK SPERM BEFOREHAND.
When a vasectomy is reversed, you WILL NOT regain your previous sperm count. Most of the time, sperm counts fall dramatically after a reversal, and it will be much more difficult to conceive intentionally without assistance from fertility treatments. Vas reversals can also fail, which would then require surgical procedures to retrieve sperm should you want to conceive later. My clinic probably does 2-6 surgical sperm retrieval procedures a month, and a solid most of them are due to failed vas reversals.
This has been a PSA from your local extremely tired embryologist who wants people to know that “vasectomies are reversible” comes with a couple of big bold asterisks that should be talked about before folks go rushing into it.
to my fellow usamericans….in light of the supreme court overturning roe v wade, well known organizations like planned parenthood dont need your money right now - they have plenty - if you’re going to donate, donate to your local or state abortion funds
the national network of abortion funds allows you to split your donation between 91 abortion funds in the united states - it lists every fund your donation goes to and allows you to customize the amount you give to each fund
I was tagged in this elsewhere by a couple of people but it was a long, somewhat alarmist, and repetitive post, so I thought I’d post a link here – normally this is the kind of thing I’d save for Radio Free Monday but it appears to be a bit urgent.
Short version: Daily Harvest is voluntarily (if incompetently) recalling one of their products, Lentil and Leek Crumbles, after multiple reports on Reddit and other social media that people are being hospitalized with organ damage after eating them. If you have them in your home, ditch ‘em, and if you’ve eaten them and gotten sick, this is a story you need to be following.
There are theories that it could be caused by an extremely dangerous mold spore creating aflatoxins in the food, and that’s super scary because aflatoxins are nothing to fuck around with. But this is only a theory, and the only reports anyone is citing right now come from individuals on social media – as of 6/22/22 the FDA has yet to comment and is still in the process of testing, and Daily Harvest has not been able to definitively state what the issue is. This is not to say it’s not happening, and certainly you should either throw out or return the crumbles immediately; with this kind of issue you may want to get rid of any Daily Harvest products you have full stop. However, remember to check sources and read critically, and make sure you’re spreading good info.
If you have fallen sick after eating it, DON’T THROW OUT THE PRODUCT. Don’t let anyone eat it (obviously) but keep it in case you need it for evidence or for testing.
uhhh if you get Daily Harvest or know someone that does, do not eat the lentil crumbles, people are having severe health/liver problems from it
one guy had to have his gallbladder removed, his lawyer is on the case and you should contact him if you are affected (info here on an article about this)
the brand is being shitty and coy about it after doing the absolute bare minimum of sending out emails and pinning a link to some of their socials
the FDA is still testing the food, especially their lentil crumbles, to find out exactly what is wrong and I will update here when those results come out
people are being hospitalized with major liver damage and many have had to have organs removed
I do not give a SINGLE fuck if it is just the lentil crumbles right now but when there is something this wrong at any point in the chain of daily harvest’s products it is NOT WORTH IT
one theory is that the food may be contaminated with aflatoxins
which are some of the strongest carcinogens and mutagens on the PLANET
