Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
~Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria- is an extreme emotional sensitivity and emotional pain triggered by the perception that one is being rejected, teased, or criticized. The emotional response is complete with suicidal ideation and people suffering from RSD often get misdiagnosed with serious personality disorders. RSD is only seen in people with ADHD and the emotional sensitivity/reaction is much more severe than that of a neurotypical person.
✦Some other “fun” ADHD things!
~inability to regulate emotions
~no concept of time
~noticeable public stimming (resulting in stares from neurotypicals)
~no impulse control
~insomnia
~listen but cannot absorb what is being said
~no volume control
~increased inability to focus when emotional
~difficulty stopping a task and transitioning to the next
~social anxiety
~higher levels on generalized anxiety
~extremely forgetful
~”all or nothing” mentality
@ neurotypicals- some things to be aware of:
- you cannothyperfixate. only people who are neurodivergent can hyperfixate. please don’t use that word when describing your latest obsession :-)
- please don’t stare at neurodivergent people who are stimming in public
- be respectful of those who actually need fidget toys so they can subtly stim in public
- if we forget something you tell us it is not because we don’t care, we just have a million other thoughts racing through our mind and no way to filter through them.
- please be gentle with us. no don’t tip toe around us and treat us like we aren’t human, but be aware that even offhand comments can trigger RSD. no we aren’t being too sensitive, our brains are wired differently than yours.
England, and from what I hear, Europe, is undergoing a heatwave.
Temperatures in the UK are around 30°C. Where I am it’s gonna hit 32°C in the next couple of hours.
To you Americans, you Australians, that’s nothing. It’s a mild day, we’re weak, whatever, I’ve heard it all, the thing is, WE AREN’T EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH THIS.
The average temperature in the UK in July is 17°C. It is in the 30’s today. We simply are not used to it. We are used to rain and sleet and hail and wind, not heat. And our heat is a damp heat. A humid heat.
Because of all the sea around us we have an extremely humid climate if it gets warm. The air literally feels heavy right now. I am struggling to cool down because the humidity is fucking with my sweat, and as a trans man, the high amounts of water in the air, combined with my binder make it difficult to breathe, and I assume a lot of asthmatic people have a similar problem.
When temperatures in the UK are like this, people die. Don’t laugh about it. It is serious. It may not seem like much to you, it may not seem warm to you, but in a similar heatwave in 2013, 760 people died.
Our infrastructure is not built to cope with this. The house I live in, for instance, was built when the Thames still used to freeze over. It was built to be warm. The walls are thick, the windows are small, some rooms don’t even have windows that open, it was built with no though to air circulation, and this is one of the most common types of home in the UK. The UK government subsidises insulation. People fill every gap in their home with stuff that will keep the heat in. And nobody - literally nobody - has aircon. A lot of businesses don’t even have it. We have no use for it 99.9% of the time. Hell, I don’t even own a desk fan or even a hand held fan.
It is very different here to where you are. And we are used to and equipped for very different things. Instead of laughing, teach us how to stay cool. Instead of making jokes or quips, make info posts, and things that will help us.
Remember, this may be an average day to you, but to us it’s a heatwave. We cannot cope. And for some, particularly children and the elderly, it’s literally a matter of life and death.
Repeating this cause there’s another heatwave going on in Europe at the moment. This is reality for us.
Take some advice from someone who grew up in a high heat, high humidity climate (aka the state of Georgia aka the sweat factory from early may until early October).
From 10 AM to 3 PM especially (the hottest part of the day) DO NOT exert yourself outdoors if you are not acclimated to working in these conditions. Just. Don’t. You can work yourself up to it by doing small shifts (like… start with half an hour and add a bit each day) and drinking a lot of water, but don’t work outdoors a full 8-hour shift in the heat of the day if you are not used to it. It can take up to a WEEK for your body chemistry to adjust. If you have a pre-existing condition like high blood pressure, diabetes, etc, you need to talk to a professional before you even consider it. Educate yourself on heat-related illnesses and the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The latter is an Emergency Room situation.
Better yet, if you want to trim the hedges outside, get up and go do it early in the morning when it is cooler.
Sports drinks are okay but they should not be your only fluids. Drink at least as much plain water as you do Gatorade or whatever it is. If you drink half a liter of sports drink, drink half a liter of water also. Or more. You can actually overdo it on the sugar and salt.
No air conditioner? Get a fan. Soak some towels and put them in the freezer. Hang them in front of the fan. Sit in front of that fan until you can breath.
Wear a hat with a brim outdoors. Ball caps are okay but a full brim is better unless you just enjoy getting a sunburn. Wear sunscreen too.
There’s a reason there’s been a long history in the USA of considering southerners “lazy” and it has nothing to do with lack of motivation and everything to do with the fact that this kind of weather saps your energy and can be hazardous if you overdo it.
Check on your elderly neighbors if it’s possible. Offer to take them somewhere air conditioned like a library or even a supermarket if their home is too hot inside.
Anyone who makes fun of this is a jackass. I’ve lived with heat like this my whole life and I know what it can do. Hell, I’ve come close to getting ill from it myself because I didn’t pay attention and wanted to be stubborn about it, and I’m accustomed to it. It’s not something to piss around with.
fellow Americans and Australians and other desert flowers: I grew up in Palm Springs, California, where we routinely got temperatures in the 50s/120s in the summer, and having moved to both central Virginia and northern Illinois, I have this to say:
30/86 is fucking unbearable with any kind of humidity, especially if you’re in a building made to trap heat and have no air conditioner.
My favorite trick for cooling off is keeping 10 or 15 washcloths in a bowl of water in the fridge. Pull them out and wipe down, and cool off the backs of your knees, your wrists and armpits, and your neck.
Lately I’ve started filling quart soup containers halfway with water and freezing them into pucks of ice for my water and my cat’s water.
You can also freeze water bottles, cover them in a cotton sock, and snuggle them at night like a teddy bear.
Cold showers are your friend. And drink as much water as you can
I greeted him at the door on 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.
He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.
I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle jingling as it fell to the floor.
He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to revisit my treasure.
His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.
He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.
He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.
The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.
To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.
1. Get consent.
2. Give warning.
3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots
4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force)
5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe.
6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.
All that and the fucker never even gave me a single orgasm.
Too important not to reblog
😳
I am so sorry for what you experienced @ifitpleasuresme. Thank you for sharing this wake-up call.
Signal boost. If you go charging into a scene thinking you can act like they act in those gonzo BDSM porn loops, you’re a fool. Always keep the Safe in Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If you are not absolutely sure of what you’re doing in a scene, don’t fucking do it.
Alright you guys, ‘tis the season again and I’ve already seen bullshit float about so here we go: what to do and what not to do when you happen to have a tick attached to yours truly.
WHAT NOT TO DO:
DON’T cover the tick in anything. Vaseline, nailpolish, whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’ll all suffocate the tick, making it panic vomit germs into your blood stream. That’s the opposite of what you want.
DON’T burn the tick. Same problem, plus the additional option of giving yourself a burn wound in the process.
DON’T squeeze the body of the tick when you try to remove it. Again this empties the tick’s digestive system into your body. Bad.
DON’T wait for the tick to detach itself. The longer it stays on you, the higher the chances it’ll transmit anything to you. Plus when ti detaches it may again vomit germs into you.
WHAT TO ACTUALLY DO
STAY CALM. A tick hanging on you is not a reason to panick. You’re not going to keel over just like that, and if you’re unsure what to do, there are many resources on the internet on how to safely remove a tick, like this one from the CDC (aka the professionals)
USE APPROPRIATE TOOLS. These can be suitable tweezers (the pointy kind, not blunt tipped ones), tick removers (there are cheap ones out there, those you can buy at the vets are totally fine for use on humans, too!). Ideally you can remove the entire tick in one go, however if that doesn’t work and the mouth part breaks off in your skin, that’s not a terribly big deal and you can totally remove it separately after you got the body remove. Again, don’t panic.
KILL THE REMOVED TICK. But not by squeezing it. Flush it down the toilet, submerse it in alcohol in a container etc. Ideally if the tick has bitten you and not your dog, keep the tick around in a sealed container in case you start having symptoms and someone needs to identify the tick species. Also IF you start getting symptoms like the tell tale Lyme disease rash, HIT A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY AND TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR TICK BITE. Do not wait this out, ticks can transmit a whole host of diseases beside Lyme, so be mindful of that, too!
Some of those diseases you can actually get vaccinated again, such as tick born encephalitis. Check with the local authorities if you live in a risk area, and if so, get the shots to protect yourself.
I’ve been telling everyone I know for YEARS not to buy Blue Buffalo.
This is the short story:
A few years ago I took my sick cat, Ankh, to the vet. The vet and vet tech asked what I fed her. I told them Blue Buffalo. They looked like I had just told them I fed her razor blades and cyanide. They diagnosed her with pancreatitis and said that nearly all of the cats they’d been seeing lately with pancreatitis were being fed Blue Buffalo. They gave her medicine and sent her home. Two days later she had a seizure and died right in my arms.
The day after she died Hannibal started displaying the same symptoms she had so I panicked hard and took him to the vet. Got the same meds and the same diagnosis. Luckily Hannibal survived.
I wish Ankh had survived. She was only ten and the best cat I’ve ever had. Literally the best and five years later I still cry when I think about her.
FUCK BLUE BUFFALO.
I don’t know the full story behind the tweets above, but a Google search shows there HAVE been several recalls regarding this brand, especially in 2016. I would absolutely avoid as it is not worth the risk.
Good god thank you so much for sharing this because I’ve lately been considering switching to this brand cus it’s supposed to be so much better than all the others but good god what the hell.
I just did some serious research on cat food because I got a new kitten, and I’m going to add a rec to this for cat owners going “I USE BLUE BUFFALO, SHIT.”
The food I picked for Atem is Triumph Chicken and Rice. It made multiple “best cat foods of 2016” lists, has nutritional quantity enough to be usable across the cat’s life without needing kitten/elderly cat food, has had no recalls that I could find, is grain-free, and multiple user reviews said their cats seemed to enjoy it a lot. (And he’s growing headlong on it.) I got mine from chewy.com, but it’s also on Amazon and I wouldn’t be surprised if Petco carries it.
If you need to switch off Blue Buffalo to protect your cat, look into Triumph. (They also make dog food! But I did not research that, because Atem is not a dog.)
A little different from the things I usually post, but I thought this might be helpful to some pet owners out there.
A few of these tips might seem pretty obvious, but I wanted to cover all the bases for those who might not have dealt with hot weather and small pets before.
I know some clever pet owners have come up with other tricks to cool their animals down, so it’s worth looking into extra solutions too. This is just supposed to be some starter’s tips.
A lot of people don’t realize how easy it is for guinea pigs to overheat, and assume that because of South America it’s good for them to be kept warm. They’re so short and stocky though that this guide is really important for any guinea pig owners.
I was literally just trying to research this for Bernie! It was 90+ degrees for the past three days and he was miserable and doesn’t always want to lay on his chinchiller. Bookmarking!
Getting winded after walking quickly/upstairs with binder on, but able to catch breath
Chafing in the underarm areas
Soreness (during or after) in arms, shoulders, or back
Increased acne on chest or back
Mild anxiety about tightness
Chest sagging
No, take it off and rest, see a doctor if problem gets worse or doesn’t go away after taking the binder off (or after one week):
Nausea during or after binding, including nausea caused by pain
Bruising
Out of breath/can’t catch breath when not wearing binder
Skin rash
Sharp pains in ribs
Not able to cough or sneeze
Numbness in arms
Feeling too tired/sore to do everyday activities
Suddenly having any of the above symptoms even if you’ve been binding for years
No, see a doctor ASAP, could be a sign of serious injury:
Anything from the above category if you can just tell/feel something is wrong, better safe than sorry
Extreme claustrophobia/panic attacks
Sharp pain in chest/heart skipping beats or beating very fast
Not able to breathe
Dizziness
Blueness in lips or fingertips
Change in shape of ribcage
Fainting
good stuff to know if you wear a binder, especially if you’re new to it. this is way more informative than the basic “don’t wear it for more than 8 hours uwu!!!111!!” - although that is also good advice. sometimes the time you keep it on will vary because of your schedule, and you don’t have to panic if that’s the case. just pay attention your body, know what’s safe, and crack your poor back as often as you can.
1. DEMAND condom use 2. Hold your partners accountable for what happens in the bedroom. None of this “baby I can’t control myself around you” or “I just wanted you so bad” bullshit. 3. Coercion is real and it’s very scary and hard to identify in the moment. Establish a dialogue with your partner. Be clear on what you both want. Be clear on what you don’t want. Your boundaries should ALWAYS be respected. 4. Sex can be really emotionally and physically over-stimulating the first few times; don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask your partner to slow down, take a break, or even stop. 5. Focus less on pleasing your partner and more on exploring your partner. Everyone’s body is different and there are no “tricks” to better sex. Chances are, if you psych yourself out worrying over how well you’re “performing” then nobody’s going to have a good time. 6. Ask questions, offer suggestions. Despite what porn has probably taught you, talking during sex isn’t weird or taboo. Your partner isn’t a mind reader. They don’t know what feels good to you. [Pro-tip, a looot of people without clitorises aren’t fully aware of just HOW sensitive a clitoris is. They can be a little rough with them. Tell them to chill!!!!] 7. Your sex life is YOUR business. Don’t ever feel ashamed of how many or how few sexual partners/experiences you’re having. Do what you want, touch the people who want to touch you back, forget the rest. 8. DON’T FAKE YOUR ORGASMS!! Don’t fake your orgasms!! DON’TFAKEYOURORGAMS!! If your partner isn’t getting you there, let them know! Tell them how!! 9. There is more to sex than orgasms. Sex is a really cool way to establish intimacy and trust, to have a fun time, to relieve stress, to explore a person’s body and bring them pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, orgasms are really cool and good, but your sex life is going to be a lot better if it doesn’t revolve around them. 10. LEARN ABOUT YOUR BODY!! This goes for everyone, but ESPECIALLY if you are a person in possession of a vulva, you have been discouraged and even actively kept from vital knowledge about your anatomy! Do some google searches, buy a human sexuality textbook, masturbate. 11. Virginity is a useless concept. It’s completely okay if your virginity is something important to you and I’m not trying to belittle that idea. Just, for the record, in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal. Literally nothing about you changes just because you bumped uglies with someone else.
This has been a public service announcement from your friendly internet poet.
