Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
also Kanar is most definitely fermented cactus juice like c’mon it’s fuckin great
it was developed during the Hebitian era as a health precaution - people mixed a splash into their stagnant desert water to kill off germs
it stayed that way until the northern/southern tribes invaded and took over production, daring to drink it as is instead of using it as a health precaution
then during the militarization of Cardassia, its original purpose was rediscovered and the Kanar was concentrated in a way that wouldn’t boil off the alcohol (the important germ-killing component) and was issued one bottle to each platoon
the soldiers were supposed to mix in a small amount of it into their water for purification, but they just started drinking it straight from the concentrate, which is when the viscous consistency became popular
eventually the bottles of concentrate were recalled in favor of water purification tablets but the love for the concentrated version of Kanar - more potent than any quantity of Klingon bloodwine - stuck
nowadays, any Cardassian-made cactus based alcohol is called Kanar, but the truer Kanars are the more concentrated black and viscous types, which are more favored among military types
there ya go there’s a topical history of Kanar for y’all
Some highlights from the Robert Hewitt Wolfe drunken DS9 AMA thread on twitter
[IMG Desc: a screenshot of two tweets. The first by user @HereKwzi “Damn, I know I’m late but… Opinion on Jake and Ziyal as a couple?” The second tweet is a reply by user @writergeekrhw “I really wish we’d done that.” END ID]
I really wish they had done this too.
[IMG Desc: Three tweets in a reply thread. First tweet: “Is there a young Garak alpha quadrant spy show in the works?”
Second tweet from @writergeekrhw: “I wish. @paramountplus I am tech avail.”
Third tweet from @/unamccormack: “Praying to the gods of the tellybox.” END ID]
How cool would this be??? I know the idea of a different actor playing Garak is off-putting, but I feel like it has great potential.
[IMG Desc: a single tweet from user @/unamccormack: “I just want to do Cardassian cops after the Dominion War.” END ID]
Una just wants to make Crimson Shadow: The Series XD
I was talking about this with zeke last night but. An underdiscussed thing about Cardassians I that reptiles are pretty universally precocial, meaning they aren’t particularly reliant on their parents for survival after a few days of veing born.
Now obviously i don’t think this applies the same way to sapient species, it’s unlikely a Cardassian child could talk or effectively feed itself faster than a Mammalian species, partially because those are things you learn, not bodily functions.
This does, however, probably mean that Cardassians can walk and move at a pretty young age, and might have hunting instincts (might, bc to my understanding one of the tradeoffs humans made when we allocated resources to be sapient was a loss of encoded instincts to free up brain space, and this could apply to other sapient species). Which sounds like a nightmare of a toddler to deal with.
It’s all over when the Federation introduces laser-pointers.
Was watching The Maquis with my friend who is watching ds9 for the first time. Dukat mentions the Cardassian education system, which I told them is basically state sanctioned child abuse. And they said, “I can imagine- these guys all seem a little traumatized.”
Just like, truer words have not been spoken. Cardassians are all a little fucked up XD Not that it excuses their abusive bullshit, or any of their other bullshit. But it is part of why I love them. They’re fucked up, and they’re all kinda horrible about it. And they are precious to me.
I would honestly watch a whole TV show about Kira and Garak trying to teach how to be a good terrorist/spy to the Cardassians… Just them being salty besties and kicking some dominion ass
Actually my wife and I were just talking about the patented Cardassian Breeding Kink ™ a few nights ago while driving six and a half hours up to NoVa for a wedding because all our weirdest and funniest and most unhinged ideas come to us after dark in the car on the highway.
But like… in a society where hereditary legacy and bloodlines and legitimacy are so important and bastardy and premarital/extramarital sex is so transgressive and deviant and tantalizing… there HAS to be a breeding kink. Like come on. Look at Catholicism. I know Dukat is a raging sociopath and Garak is… Garak but Cardassian society is obsessed with children and producing children and punishing people for producing the wrong kind of children and rewarding people who have a litter of legitimate heirs.
If it walks like a breeding kink, talks like a breeding kink…
It’s a breeding kink.
And I think that Kira knows this. I think so has to know. And we were talking about a scenario where Garak is on DS9 coming or going from Earth or Bajor or somewhere for diplomatic reasons and Julian’s stayed behind on Cardassia because he has a few patients at his clinic due to deliver any day now, he has to see them through to the end, no matter what happens – and so Garak and Kira are sitting in Quark’s or in a holosuite drinking when Garak gets a vid of Julian cradling multiple fat Cardassian babies. He hasn’t slept in two days and it looks like it, he’s in his surgical scrubs, he’s covered in viscera from the birth but like… babies. Fat, healthy babies. A rare and precious commodity on post-Dominion bombardment Cardassia. These are the first fat, healthy born at term and in the 99th percentile of height and weight Cardassian babies in over a YEAR.
And Kira. She’s had just enough to drink to see how this is effecting Garak. He’s blushing however Cardassians blush. The man is flustered. There’s a second video taken by the mother of one of the babies as Julian rocks the baby while doing the post natal exam. It’s too much for him to bear. The most transgressive thing that the bastard son of a ruling class man can do is want to participate in legally sanctioned marriage and sire some heirs.
She decides to make it worse. Kira chooses violence. Taking a gulp of springwine and running her mouth about how Julian is like, so good at medicine. So good at it that he transplanted Kirayoshi O'Brien into her uterus. She wonders what he could do if he had enough time and resources to transplant an entire uterus. The science is probably there. Hell, if he’d had the time and been able to operate on himself, he would have transplanted Kirayoshi into himself. And if anyone was gonna know how to engineer a Human-Cardassian baby, it’s Julian. And Julian would make such pretty babies. Wouldn’t he make such pretty babies with someone, Garak?
How does Julian find out about this exchange? Desperately unclear. I think Garak is definitely still years from admitting to himself what he wants, which is to like. Heal and be capable of emotions and participating in a family and having friends.
But I think Julian definitely notices how Garak acts the first time Julian puts a foundling baby in his arms while he pulls out medical supplies and formula and a blanket and diapers in anticipation of examining the baby before calling the orphanage. And like. Garak’s not ready, they’re both not ready. And Cardassia’s reproductive health crisis in the face of starvation and disease and radiation is critical enough that a relatively healthy newborn will have no problem being placed in a family.
But after that… every time Julian discovers a foundling baby on the clinic steps in the hours before it opens for the morning, he puts the baby in Garak’s arms. And eventually, the baby that’s found is a Human-Cardassian hybrid. And Garak balks.
Because this baby won’t have such an easy time being placed. Cardassians want babies they can pass of easily as theirs. They want uncomplicated newborns without histories and traumas and the complex medical issues that come along with first generation hybridization. This baby will just go to the orphanage. Who will hold them? Rock them to sleep? Make sure their needs are met? How dare you, Julian. It would be so irresponsible. The baby needs to stay with us. We’ll protect them and take care of them and hold them dear and if you dare to tell me that that’s fatherhood I will deny it vehemently.
But anyway somewhere in that process they both get very drunk at like, someone’s wedding or a festival and Julian goads Garak during sex by telling him he wants to have his babies and tells him to cum inside him.
ALT
