meowmeowarcher:

jadzia: would you eat a two inch tall man for two bricks of gold-pressed latinum?

quark: bricks? of course i would!

sisko: well, it depends. what does he taste like?

o’brien: yeah, the captain’s got a point. i wouldn’t want to eat something that’s all bones and gristle and such, and he’s gotta be.

bashir: chief!

o’brien: what?

bashir: that’s a living, breathing, person you’re talking about!

kira: he’s not, though! he’s two inches tall, his brain’s probably the size of a pea!

bashir: you can’t kill him!

sisko: no one is killing anyone, it’s a thought experiment!

sisko: unless…..

bashir: you don’t mean to say that you’d eat him? 

sisko: i’m thinking about it.

bashir: i can’t believe this!

kira: he’s two inches tall, julian! he’d get killed off by a cat or something anyway!

o’brien: yeah! we’re really doing him a favor, when you think about it.

bashir: well, if i were two inches tall, i wouldn’t want to be eaten!

kira: but you’re not, are you? 

jadzia: what about you, odo? 

odo: i don’t eat. 

jadzia: but if you did-

odo: i don’t eat. 

jadzia: well, what if you could tell, say, quark to eat it? you’d both get two bricks of latinum, but you’d have the chance of sparing the poor man’s life.

odo: quark would end up getting all the winnings somehow. besides, i don’t use money. where’s the point?

quark: i deserve the winnings! i’m doing all the work!

sisko: what about you, dax? 

jadzia: it depends on who the man is, doesn’t it? maybe it’s what he deserves!

sisko: i see….

kira: he can’t deserve anything! he doesn’t have a personality! he’s two inches tall!

worf: something is grievously wrong with you people.