hxans:

For typhoidmeri

Bright chandeliers sparkled overhead, as party guests milled about the expansive ballroom hosting the annual Stark Gala. White coated waitstaff circulated the floor with platters carrying hors d'uerves or flutes of champagne. Despite being a recent hire at Stark industries, she’d had it drilled in to her that attendance at the gala was mandatory. But Darcy Lewis, intern extraordinaire, was bored out of her mind.

Even though fancy shmancy formal events were definitely not her scene, Darcy managed to rustle up a lacy black dress, and got her hair sorted into a simple, elegant up-do. Upon arrival, she’d joined a group of her fellow interns for company, but they kept talking about shows she didn’t watch, music she didn’t listen to. The main advantage of being surrounded by people her age was that it kept the creepster old men from hitting on her. Still, she was incredibly bored.

And out of alcohol.

Looking around, none of the waitstaff were close by. Sighing, Darcy decided to brave the crowds in search of a top up of her booze.

The first waiter she spotted had a platter of empty flutes. The next, food. She snagged a mini-quiche before moving on through the crowds after she spotted a waitress with full glasses. But it seemed like everyone else was as keen to do as Darcy was, and as she approached, people kept snagging glass after glass off the platter.

One glass remained. Darcy was determined it would be hers. She pushed forward, reached out, wrapping her fingers around the stem–just as a hand wrapped around hers. Blinking in surprise, she turned to look, and found herself practically nose to nose with none other than Tony Stark.

He looked rather unsurprised to find himself suddenly with an armful of intern, and his signature smirk quickly crossed his face. Darcy braced herself, jutting her chin in a stubborn challenge, and calmly stated, “This champagne is mine.”

“Really? Tell me, Miss…”

“Lewis.”

“…Lewis. Are you not intimidated to be in the presence of a powerful man?” he asked, still smirking.

Darcy glanced down, before returning his gaze with a matching smirk. “Oh, I wouldn’t know. I’ve never met powerful men, just boys playing dress-ups pretending to be one.”

It was Tony’s turn to blink in surprise, then he let out a sharp laugh. He stepped back, releasing his hand on the glass of champagne, so that Darcy could take a victorious sip. Then, she noticed he was flanked by two people, none other than his girlfriend Pepper Potts, and best friend James Rhodes. Pepper was covering her mouth trying to stifle her laughter. His other companion was making no such effort to hide his mirth, bent nearly in half he was laughing so hard.

“Pepper!” Tony exclaimed, turning to her, “Who does she work for? Find out who’s paying her and offer her more, she’s perfect.”

With that, he turned away, and headed off to the next waiter carrying drinks. Pepper gave Darcy a knowing smile, winked, and trailed after him, while Rhodey stepped forward and asked if he could shake her hand.

“That was a sick burn, kiddo. You need anything, anything at all, you come find me, I’ll see you get it,” he told her, grinning. He laughed again. “Playing dress-ups!” With that, he rejoined Pepper and Tony, leaving Darcy to herself.

And her glass of champagne. She took another sip. She wasn’t so bored, now.

(Before she could rejoin the other interns, Darcy found herself swept up in a group containing a gorgeous red head from HR (“Call me Nat”) and boyfriend from security, Clint, plus their friends Sam, Maria, Steve, and James (“Bucky, please, only my ma and Nat call me James”). The night only got better from there.)

enkiindlethis:

hear me out: Helen, Betty, and Jane getting together and doing movie nights where they tear apart sci fi film science and see who has the best stories of actual things that happened to them that could beat that plot.

onemuseleft:

profsycamore:

i really want a robot to be like “welcome to the gun show” and it flexes and literal guns pop out of its shoulders

You know Rhodey’s done this.

kittenskysong:

STOP ERASING LAURA BARTON

Y'all claim you want more female characters and female friendships but when you get one you immediately erase her because she breaks up your ships or isn’t the ~right kind~ of woman. Stop.

sashayed:

eatingcroutons:

I really think you need to brush up on your mythology here. Do you even know what a hydra looks like?

This is a hydra. Its defining features are its one tail and many, many heads.

So what the fuck is this supposed to be?

That, Mr Schmidt, is a fucking octopus. Its defining features are its ONE head and many LEGS.

You literally could not have gotten this more wrong.

It’s very important to me that somewhere in hydra’s evil marketing department is a harried evil graphic designer who has been trying so hard to bring this up, okay, like, listen, the first — the first presentation she had an actual hydra, it was pretty cool, it was like an evil skull hydra, it had seven evil skulls, but they were like “that’s too many heads, it makes it seem like no one is in charge,” and she said, oh, but that’s what a hydra is, it has — and they said more loudly, “could you give it more tentacles, like it’s very insidious,” and she said, that’s — yes, but that’ll be — i mean, that’s definitely, um, but what you’re asking for is not a, um, a hydra — trying to catch the project manager’s eye like BACK ME UP, I KNOW YOU TOOK CLASSICS, but the project manager was pretending to look at something on his phone, and all the execs were staring at her like is she ARGUING with us?, and like, they’re supervillains, so she said, okay, i….i’ll, sorry, i — i’ll give you something with tentacles.