Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
Confession time; while I may have started making my girlfriend lunches purely because I love her there’s now a little bit of gay spite involved as well. I want the straight girls she works with to see what they’re missing and hold their men to higher standards.
Operation Gay Spite has claimed its first straight relationship! I’m not sure I’ve ever been prouder of anything in my life!
If making lunch broke them up it was never a good one in the first place
He gets it.
I’m genuinely curious how the lunches caused the breakup to happen, and I fully support the Gay Spite lunches
Literally since my bf saw this he’s started doing other things to model relationship goals for other guys. He’s always been lovely to me, but he’s made more of a point to show off the things we do for each other and raise people’s standards. He told his friend that we make dinner for each other every night and that guy went home and made his gf enchiladas. He posted about doing my laundry while I was at work (he does stuff like that all the time but usually isn’t public about it) and 2 other guys cleaned stuff up before their ladies came home.
Basically what I’m saying is that @solarpunkarchivist has started a chain reaction of straight people doing better and setting better examples and we appreciate it.
My dad has always sung to my mom on their birthday*, their anniversay, and the winter solstice because that’s her least favorite day of the year. He did this well before they got married, and he kept doing it after they started working in the same office building, walking over to her cubicle a few times a year with a dozen roses and singing a love song from broadway or an operetta. More often, he came over with a hot takeout lunch, or fresh salad or a dessert and would double-check who was picking me up today and what Mom wanted him to make for dinner if he was getting home first.
Some men gave him shit about doing that, bitching and moaning about “Maaaaaan you’re raising the bar!” or “Isn’t picking up the kids your wife’s job?” and so on.
But more men- many more men- came to him for advice. “Where did you learn to sing?” “My wife’s allergic to flowers and doesn’t like chocolate. What should I get her for her birthday?” “How did you get time off to pick up your kids early?” “I wanna do something nice for our anniversary, but it’s right before tax day and I never remember and I feel like an ass. How do you remember?” Net, he thinks setting a good example like that ended two relationships and saved five.
Setting a good example is a good idea to inspire people to realize they deserve better, but even better is that there are lots of people out there who want to do better and will glady take notes from you.
i’m just over here like love isn’t a pyramid where romance is at the top and friendship is at the bottom…. it’s a soup…. different ingredients but all delicious and necessary for a truly fulfilling meal…
What I like about the soup metaphor is that not every ingredient goes in every kind of soup.
My soup wouldn’t include any romance. Other people might have a soup without family, because theirs were toxic, and they replaced that ingredient with extra friendship. Not everyone will include pets in their soup. Some people choose to add children, while others remain child-free. (I’m aware this sounds bad if you forget it’s a metaphor, shh) But they’re all soup. Delicious soup.
And then some people just don’t eat soup - they might use some of the same ingredients, but they cook a different meal. And that’s still nutritious! You don’t have to call it soup if you don’t want to. It doesn’t even have to look like soup. As long as it nourishes you.
So here’s what I’ve got, the reasons why our marriage might work: Because you wear pink but write poems about bullets and gravestones. Because you yell at your keys when you lose them, and laugh, loudly, at your own jokes. Because you can hold a pistol, gut a pig. Because you memorize songs, even commercials from thirty years back and sing them when vacuuming. You have soft hands. Because when we moved, the contents of what you packed were written inside the boxes. Because you think swans are overrated and kind of stupid. Because you drove me to the train station. You drove me to Minneapolis. You drove me to Providence. Because you underline everything you read, and circle the things you think are important, and put stars next to the things you think I should think are important, and write notes in the margins about all the people you’re mad at and my name almost never appears there. Because you make that pork recipe you found in the Frida Kahlo Cookbook. Because when you read that essay about Rilke, you underlined the whole thing except the part where Rilke says love means to deny the self and to be consumed in flames. Because when the lights are off, the curtains drawn, and an additional sheet is nailed over the windows, you still believe someone outside can see you. And one day five summers ago, when you couldn’t put gas in your car, when your fridge was so empty—not even leftovers or condiments— there was a single twenty-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew, which you paid for with your last damn dime because you once overheard me say that I liked it.
— Matthew Olzmann, “Mountain Dew Commercial Disguised as a Love Poem”
no love is ever lost. i used to feel like I wasted my love on the wrong people but in the course of my healing, not only have i felt the love I’ve poured out come back to me in different ways, but i have been reminded that love is not expendable at all. love cannot be measured nor contained. discarded nor wasted. it has no form or shape. it surrounds us. love is essential. it’s abundant. it’s powerful. its potency makes it capable of finding its way back to you. again and again and again. love is a whole phenomenon. don’t ever regret the love you give to anyone. it’s theirs. it’s yours. it’s everywhere. the cycle is infinite
call me a freak but i think romanticised cannibalism is so fucking cool. art peaked when we started using eating each other as a metaphor for love. anyway don’t kill people
it’s about obsession, it’s about possession, it’s about codependency. if food is a metaphor for love because we want us both to eat well then cannibalism is it’s reverse. i want us both to live no matter the cost. i want you to be well and cared for even if it kills me. i want to have you so badly that i’d kill you to mingle your blood with mine. being covered in blood is sexy as hell.
if i set my teeth into the flesh of your arm and rest there know that i do not mean to tear it away only to latch myself onto you in some more permanent way
i feel your blood on my tongue but do not fear the hunger in my eyes i am a wild thing at best and my love is a violent guest
