Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
the difference between romantic love and platonic love is mostly intent
love lives in the cultivation of it!!! if you want a relationship, any relationship to thrive you have to build it and grow it and nurture it. you have to be honest and respectful and vulnerable and affectionate.
there are some things most people only do with romantic partners, but that’s mostly a matter of taste and custom. people have sexual encounters with friends. people have love affairs without ever having sex. people co-habitat with friends. people live in separate dwellings from their spouses.
love isn’t a feeling or an instinct. it’s a sustained, mutual effort. ultimately your relationship is what y’all mutually decide it is and what y’all mutually make the effort to create together.
i dont claim to be an expert on love but i think theres something to like… ok so my girlfriend got undertale on the switch a while back, right? and she’s definitely not a bad videogamer but it takes practice yknow, esp when youre doing a neutral route and actually fight stuff. so when she got to the hardest bosses i took the controller and beat them for her. not because she couldn’t, but because i love her. and that’s what my brother did when i was a kid playing sonic adventure 2 or whatever, not because i was dumb but because he was good at it and he loved me. and when i want my girlfriend to read something (a post, an essay, a novel) but she’s too tired to actually read so it i read it to her and i do silly voices and she laughs and we have more fun that way. when you hand a water bottle to your friend and they open it without you even having to ask. when you spent a million years fixing the flat tire on your bike and then your dad just takes the tools and does it for you. its not a judgement, it’s just a service. you could do it yourself, but why should you have to when you are loved?
the pragmatic view of love honestly makes me so emotional
like what do you MEAN it’s up to us to create and nurture the relationships we want to have with people? what do you MEAN loving others and caring for others and being kind to them is a choice that we have to make every single day, in each moment? what do you MEAN we are the makers and sculptors and artists and architects of our own interpersonal relationships? i’m losing my mind!!
it really demystifies the whole affair. once you realise that love and thriving relationships don’t just drop from the sky or appear out of thin air, once you realise that it isn’t miraculous or due to “fate” or design, that it’s really just the choices that we make and the beliefs and values that we hold, everything becomes clear. you don’t just sit around and wait for things to change, or passively wish them to be different, clinging onto the idea that since it’s mystical, you’re not entirely responsible for shaping it. but you are. and that’s scary, but it’s also, like, the only thing that really matters at the end of the day?? i cannot
Anonymous:
for request, may I ask for something with the theme "devotion as violence?"
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