nb-so-memesforyournb-so-dreams:

hickeywiththegoodhair:

ive-been-mistreated:

notkatniss:

#that is the most venomous native lizard in north america

so i was compelled to look that up and

A) the most venomous lizard in north america is called the Gila Monster

B) I’m no expert obviously but that boy there sure looks like a Gila Monster

C) from the Gila Monster wikipedia article, here is the funniest doctor that ever lived:

“I have never been called to attend a case of Gila monster bite, and I don’t want to be. I think a man who is fool enough to get bitten by a Gila monster ought to die. The creature is so sluggish and slow of movement that the victim of its bite is compelled to help largely in order to get bitten.”

–Dr. Ward, Arizona Graphic, September 23, 1899

funnytwittertweets:

venka:

loml is such a versatile abbreviation… love of my life… light of my life… lizard on my leg

I couldn’t NOT share this with you all 😂😂

[Img Description: screenshot of a tweet by K.B. Spangler:

“YOU REQUESTED REPTILE EUPHEMISMS OKAY HERE WE GO!

SHEDDING THE TAIL

THE SLIPPERY ECTOTHERM

EATING THE MOLT

THE THORNIEST DRAGON

HERP-HUMP

THE LITTLE DEATH ROLL

SLOW AND PAINFUL LIVE DIGESTION”]

linafication:

imagine thinking emojis are cringe. they are little images you can put next to your words. 🦎 this sentence has a gecko now !! we really are living in hte future !!!!!

Skrain Dukat at the end of “Sacrifice of Angels”

ALT

[Img description: A tweet from Kristen Arnett: “good morning to everyone but especially the lizard i found hiding out in a snickers bar wrapper out on the lawn”]