Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
eat right: more food from food dish, less lint from floor
get more exercise: jump for enriching dangle toy, not hide under bed till scary feathers go away
treat others with kindness: if awake before 7 am, no run at bed for flying leap to head of human even once, let alone over and over until human get up
stay positive:food coming soon. no need for scream
develop independent life skills: try eat food maybe once or twice without insist human sit on floor nearby for moral support. just try!
practice self-care: get on lap when human have full cup of coffee and about to watch the crown, not five minute before human leave for work
learn meteorology: if too cold for human to open window sixty second ago, it still too cold now. also cold outside bedroom window, bathroom window, living room window. all windows the same
It’s my birthday, and In honor of the anon that said they were sick of seeing my cat last year, I’m going to blaze her even harder this year - because she is precious and everyone needs to witness her!
[Image Describe: a Barbie promotional poster with a picture of a black cat with purple collar whose eyes are wide, ears up, captioned, “This Barbie is - in all caps - Bites you, bites you, bites you.” End ID]
I have another cat named Chowder and we found him living in our house under a couch. He has the biggest head my vet had ever seen and his tongue is too big for his mouth.
A cat owner invited their neighbor over for dinner and introduced their four cats. “That’s Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, and Astrophe,” they announced. The neighbor was surprised and asked, Where on Earth did you get those names?
Oh, those are their last names, the owner said. Their first names are Cat.
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