Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
Kira, tied to chair: You’ll never get away with this!
Kai Winn: Yes i will! which is why i’m going to tell you my entire plan, fully confident you won’t be able to use this information to derail it in the near future!
Kira: ok.
Kai Winn: The time approaches when the planets align, and the pagh wraiths need a willing vessel to dominate not only bajor, not only the galaxy, but all of reality itself! You see my child, luring dukat to the nebula was never an attempt to assassinate him. He had to watch his allies fall. learn fear, anger, hatred. To become a powerful force of evil and malice! And then, i’ll “save” him, a miracle sent by the pagh wraiths. He will offer himself up to them and become unstoppable!
Picard: commander data, set a course following the trajectory of that trombone.
*on ds9*
Chief O’Brien: what an unexpectedly nice day! nothing broken, no malfunctions, everyone in a good mood. I think I’ll take some time to relax with my family and then go to quark’s :)
*in the nebula*
Carmellasaur: SCREEEEEECHHHH!!!!!
Gul Dukat: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Kai Winn, crashing the defiant through the hull of Dukat’s ship: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*she jumps out of the defiant and shoots the carmellasaur with a phaser*
My beloved gul! My slutty malewife! By the grace of the pagh wraiths you are safe!
*Kira escapes the defiant and seeks out the other two carmellasaurs*
Kira: carmellasaurs, hear me! The kai has killed your sister and plans to take over the universe! We must stop her!
The carmellasaurs: RRROAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!
*meanwhile*
Gul Dukat: Kai! Oh adami, I’m so glad to see you. I’ve been through so much. Damar and the weyouns are dead. I’m so tired and hungry.
Kai Winn: I know. You will regain your strength soon. Trust in the pagh wraiths and-
OOHOAOHOHAOHOHOH DANSA MED OSS KLAPPA ERA HÄNDER GÖR SOM VI GÖR TA NÅGRA STEG ÅT VÄNSTER LYSSNA OCH LÄR MISSA INTE CHANSEN NU ÄR VI HÄR MED CARAMELLDANSEN
*In a rainbow of blinding, flashing lights Kira rides in on the back of a carmellasaur. She is holding a gun. She shoots dukat in the head. The carmellasaurs then screech, pounce, rip him apart, and eat him. He is dead.*
my DS9 conspiracy theory is, despite having almost zero scenes together, Julian and Kira are really good friends. My evidence? All the fucking cold opens in season 7 of them just hanging out at Quark’s.
