Day 1- a single partridge could kick my ass

Days 2-4- doves, hens, and calling birds could do it

Day 5- but they’d need to be wearing jewelry

Day 6- geese-a-laying are no joke

Day 7- there’s *swans* now??? fuck me

Day 8- milkmaids- outnumbered by human beings

Days 9-10- it would take humans with political power

Day 11- pipers piping would throw off my combat groove

Day 12- drummers have sticks and hit things for a living

N/A- i could fend off all of these things indefinitely