Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.

scarlettohairdye:

infinite-magical-recipes:

shredsandpatches:

junkybowels:

plaidadder:

argonauticae:

argonauticae:

im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc that’s what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever

scottish trad music genres:

  • Everyone I Love Is Dead
  • The English Have Stolen All My Sheep
  • You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three
  • The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep
  • I Love You A Lot But You’ve Left Me And It’s Raining [fiddle solo]
  • The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English
  • One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome
  • The Fairies Have Stolen All My Sheep

We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:

* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland

* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It

* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)

* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution

* Something In Irish, I Think It’s About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow

oooo can I add to this? don’t forget Appalachian folk balladry, the American cousin of Scottish and Irish traditional music and just as uplifting as its Anglo-Saxon highland forbears!!!

genres include:

  • I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesn’t Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug
  • The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed
  • You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)
  • Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But She’s Weary Of Our Shit And Now She’s Dyin’ (Gather Round)
  • The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Won’t Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground
  • We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didn’t Fix The Levee 
  • The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang) 
  • When The Rebels Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left
  • The Tennessee Valley Authority Killed All My Sheep Somehow

Don’t forget that old standby “The Mine Collapsed and Everyone Died”!

I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:

  • I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parents’ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now I’m Pregnant
  • I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It
  • I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis
  • Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Let’s Get Married, I’m Glad You Said No Because I’m Really Him In Disguise
  • Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome
  • The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)
  • Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor
  • Begging Is a Completely Viable Career Option With Flexible Hours and Unlimited Access to Alcohol

behold mongolian folk music genres

  • I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia
  • We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)
  • Witness My Many Ungulates
  • (While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant
  • On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)
  • Witness My Many Ancestors’ Many Ungulates
  • I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If It’s Made of Horseshoes
  • Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for “Horse”)
  • You Might Not Know This About Me, But I Own a Horse

THE MONGOLIAN FOLK SONGS MADE IT BETTER.

meeedeee:
“ weresehlat:
“ grouch314:
“ hot4triangle:
“ sssn-neptune-vasilias:
“ points-at-my-hand:
“ Ever wonder how big wolves are and why running from them is a really bad idea?
”
This had me so fucked up the first time I worked at the zoo. Because...

meeedeee:

weresehlat:

grouch314:

hot4triangle:

sssn-neptune-vasilias:

points-at-my-hand:

Ever wonder how big wolves are and why running from them is a really bad idea?

This had me so fucked up the first time I worked at the zoo. Because honestly they just look like big German-Huskies when they’re not wild. They look like big puppies. And then… they get close to you… And it’s suddenly kinda fucking terrifying. Like “oh this is the animal that used to scare people shitless.” “This is the animal that used to run through nightmares and poems so much.” And you suddenly fucking get it. As cool as these animals are far away, as important as the animals are in their natural environment, as much as we need them to survive… they’re still pretty fucking terrifying 

can you believe these things became our friends

And then people domesticated them and now sleep with them in their beds.

We’re not a species meant to last

I’d actually argue the opposite!

We took these super efficient killing machines and befriended them and now they love and protect us as much as we (ideally) love and protect them

Cats basically domesticated themselves so that they could share in our food, medical care, and affection

In urban spaces, prey species know that there’s a higher likelihood that humans will help you if you’re stuck or injured than them killing or maiming you

It’s just, over time we see trends of our species overcoming environmental pressures that would and do lead to extinction in other species by sharing and forming close bonds with other sentient organisms and just kinda… aggressively community-bonding our way out of it?

For a long time there’s been this pervading idea that we, as a species, are just innately violent and terrible and “sinful” and it’s been that violence that let us survive (see the hunting hypothesis of human evolution). But that’s not what we see

We are, at our core, a species that looks into the face of something other, and thinks “I wonder if they want to be friends?” so long as the individual isn’t actively trying to kill us. Sure, tons of people do awful things every day, but for every terrible act or thought on this Earth, there are a dozen acts of kindness that people do casually for complete strangers

So yeah. We looked at these massive fluffy monsters with the sharp claws and crushing jaws rooting in our garbage just beyond the campfire and thought, the way no other species before or after us has done to the same extent; “They look friend-shaped!”

And they were. And that is how we got to be the dominant species on this planet

So let’s make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we’re together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?

Won’t you please, won’t you please,
Please won’t you be my neighbor?

mrmyu:
“ furbearingbrick:
“ balalaikaboss:
“ ejacutastic:
“ I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL
”
Stop says the red light, go says the green
Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between.
KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT
WITH ITS EYE OF...

mrmyu:

furbearingbrick:

balalaikaboss:

ejacutastic:

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT
WITH ITS EYE OF COAL 
SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE 
AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

Neighbor Steve, why do you not proceed into the portal as indicated? 

Neighbor Steve, you responded in the affirmative when I asked if you could drop me off at work… 


The dimensional walls are strengthening Neighbor Steve, you must use the accelerator pedal. 


We will wait for the next Demon Light.

mommapolitico:
“primarybufferpanel:
“ Then the spinoff: he starts fake WW3 and we lock him in an underground bunker for 7 years, after which he will be moved to some kind of remote tundra landscape to live out the rest of his life as the ‘last man...

mommapolitico:

primarybufferpanel:

Then the spinoff: he starts fake WW3 and we lock him in an underground bunker for 7 years, after which he will be moved to some kind of remote tundra landscape to live out the rest of his life as the ‘last man alive’.

Holy crap. This could totally work. Who wouldn’t watch it??? And at the same time, it would eliminate him as a threat to the United States. Pure brillianec, my friends. Kudos.

thisnameisquitegooey:

dear-miss-adair:

voidbat:

baphomeme:

im serious about that “stop saving things for special occasions” bit tho like. even if u aren’t in your 20s. thats for everyone. its one of the most useful things ive learned lately

stop! just stop. eat the special snack. drink the expensive hippie tea. use the incense or the bath bomb or whatever you paid way too much for because you were feeling really bad and retail therapy makes u feel alive

when we save things for special occasions/rainy days it contributes to us feeling like A.) our day to day existence is lackluster and B.) you have to be feeling a certain level of Bad, or have to reach a certain level of Socially Accepted Achievement, to enjoy things

just give yourself stuff. there are definitely sometimes reasons to withhold things from yourself - as motivation, if it’s something you consciously want to use sparingly, etc - but at least for me half the time it just turns into self-flagellation and also cool things and cool experiences and nice treats just collect dust while i wait for some fabled day when i convince myself i finally Deserve it

just fuckin give yourself stuff dude. life’s so mindblowingly short

my grandmother died having only used her china like twice in her life. during the year or so before her death, she was starting to package up and give things of hers to her kids, and gave mom the china while sighing “oh i wish i had used the china more!” and mom tried so hard to convince her to just keep it, then, and eat corny dogs off it if she wanted. she insisted she couldn’t possibly, you need a special reason to use the fine china.

when nana died, we used her fine china as our everyday dishes for years. i was 18 when she died, and never really stopped having that in the back of my head.

now, when i hear myself say “i wish i had a reason to wear/do/eat/use X!” i hear nana regretting never really using her china. and let me tell you a thing:

spaghettios taste great when eaten from fine china.

I’ve seen this post making the rounds. Just wanted to add something to it that my sister-in-law once told me:

“A ‘special thing’ can make any occasion special.”

She told me this when I objected to her opening a really expensive bottle of champagne just to watch a movie. And you know, she was right. The champagne was amazing and while we always sit around and watch movies, that bottle made that night a really special occasion that I will always remember.

So, cut yourself a little slack and remember that an ordinary day can become special.

My mother has always had a habit of buying what she calls “love gifts”. Essentially she would buy me my favorite snack or take me to get iced coffee or buy me fuzzy socks something like that

Her reason for that was simply because she thought of us at work and wanted to get something as a way of saying “I was thinking about you and I love you”

Now as a kid I just took the presents but when I got older I felt a little bad

She didn’t always buy something small, sometimes it was some new makeup or video games or something else that was more than just a few bucks

When I told her “hey mom it’s sweet that you do this, but you don’t have to go do this all the time. You can just wait until a special day or a special occasion”

She just looked at me and said “but Samantha, this is a love gift, and I love you every day not just the special ones”

And ever since she said that I haven’t objected again

imtooticky:
“ unreconstructedfangirl:
“ regvetdream:
“ bguiles:
“ nii-sam:
“ tklivory:
“ bubblegumsith:
“ ogress:
“ daddyslittleoreo666:
“ thegreenwolf:
“ gwengrimm:
“ tinsnip:
“ yiubum:
“ imbatman4280:
“ capricornian:
“ thesassylorax:
“...

imtooticky:

unreconstructedfangirl:

regvetdream:

bguiles:

nii-sam:

tklivory:

bubblegumsith:

ogress:

daddyslittleoreo666:

thegreenwolf:

gwengrimm:

tinsnip:

yiubum:

imbatman4280:

capricornian:

thesassylorax:

firsttimelady:

lessthangrace:

scientificperfection:

lord-kitschener:

Sorry for putting pictures of boobies on your dash.

I’m not

BOOBIES

sorry guys, i usually don’t post NSFW stuff..
but this is a great pair of boobies.

I love a bouncing pair of boobies.

I respond to this gifs of cute boobies with a pair of great tits. 

File:GreatTit002.jpg

omg guys. I’m sorry I usually don’t post stuff like this.

boobies are great

yeah, boobies are okay, but i know somebody out there is just dying for some cock.

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This is what tumbler was made for

This post just isn’t complete without a picture of the world’s largest pecker.

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I love this

that is one huge pecker you got there

Needs moar tits

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What this post needs is a little ass.

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Sorry guys, I don’t usually post NSFW, but you gotta admit, that ass looks great.

Don’t forget a little pussy

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Originally posted by traces-of-a-smile

YES.

LULZ!!

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Originally posted by the-dodo

emaleigh42:

skidar:

hntrgurl13:

skidar:

rashkah:

zooophagous:

hashtagdion:

All animals go to heaven is just illogical planning. You’re telling me every crocodile that ever lived is in heaven? Heaven must be swarming crocodiles. Does that sound like heaven to you? Thousands of millions of crocodiles?

*SLAMS FIST ON TABLE*

YES, DAMMIT

image

And Steve Irwin is showering them all with affection

But does every Stingray go to heaven? I mean, what if Steve Irwin just randomly came across the Stingray that killed him?

Steve would probably pat it and say ‘Sorry I spooked you mate, gosh your a beauty! You must have grown three times since I last saw you!’ 

this is a pure post

endreal:

franklyunfabulous:

drnerdlove:

avotica:

breelandwalker:

obstinate-nocturna:

bemusedlybespectacled:

Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.

Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.

Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.

Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.

The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.

These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.

Relationship goals. LIFE goals.

Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them. 

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Reblogged for truth.

❤️❤️❤️

Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.

It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.

Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)

Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.

I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:

“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”

- -Sanjay Kulkarni

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
“ rassoey:
“ avianawareness:
“ aph-romania:
“ reallymisscoffee:
“ dansknapp:
“ stultiloquentia:
“ doctormemelordmd:
“ fangirling-so-hard-rn:
“ Crows are scary
They
• use tools
• Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
•...

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:

rassoey:

avianawareness:

aph-romania:

reallymisscoffee:

dansknapp:

stultiloquentia:

doctormemelordmd:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

Crows are scary
They

  • use tools
  • Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
  • Have huge brains for birds
  • like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
  • They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
  • they are scary smart at solving puzzles
  • some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies
  • they can remember faces
  • SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
  • They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.

Guys I’m really scared of crows now.
(q

Yeah but have you seen this 

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A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.

Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.

That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 

Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 

That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.

Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 

i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.

a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.

i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

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fuccn crows, man