Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
no lie, the second half of this post really helped me put a different perspective on my life and greatly the decreased the anxiety i have about my life to come
I’m a little sick and tired of how nonbinary people are always portrayed as skinny, white, AFAB people with fluffy short hair who use they/them pronouns by TikTok and YouTube.
Now, if that is your nonbinary experience, that’s fine, and congratulations! For years I felt insanely jealous of you and literally loathed myself for not looking like you!
This “representation” of nonbinary people seems harmless but it also heavily stereotypes us in such a cisnormative way to make us, well… Palatable to cis people.
Nonbinary isn’t a third gender in between man and woman. Sometimes it is, but often it isn’t. Nonbinary is an expansive umbrella term for anything and everything that isn’t strictly 100% binary male or female. What this means is different to every nonbinary person.
This “rep” of enby people has genuinely made me question my identity constantly and feel as though I’m “faking it” because I don’t have that same experience as the skinny white enby on TikTok who binds and has a chiselled jawline.
I’m nonbinary because my sense of gender identity is queer. It’s heavily connected to my queerness as an aroace person, amongst other things. And no, I’m not “androgynous”. I’m white and AFAB, but I’m not skinny. I have long blond hair. I don’t bind. I like wearing dresses and makeup sometimes (but make it ✨queer✨).
Nonbinary doesn’t have a look, or pronouns, or gendered language. Nonbinary is what someone is and how they feel, regardless of how they look and how they refer to themselves.
i wish there was more compassion for people who deal with incontinence. like it’s not just “pee your pants” or “haha shit stain in underwear” jokes or whatever but just like. not acting like “adult in a diaper” is always a fetish thing or some extreme stereotype of disability that prevents seeing the person discussed as human. or seeing it as a marker that a person cannot accomplish anything else, or has no chance of inclusion in society. incontinence doesn’t preclude a person from also having ambition, a sense of humor, a deep inner world, a heart full of love, a rich social life, athletic or artistic or intellectual talents, or anything else that a person might have going for them.
Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it
No matter what a post on tumblr tries to tell you, your moral and ethical stances will never be determined by what you reblog and what you scroll past. Don’t let manipulation tactics force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
I find it very interesting to note the times in which this post has a sudden resurgence. It often follows very stressful, upsetting events, where a lot of “REBLOG THIS OR YOU SUCK” posts start appearing on this site.
So I’ll say it again: it is okay if you come to tumblr to escape upsetting news. It is okay if you’re just here for fun and fandom. It is okay if you do not want to use your tumblr as a place to read about or spread the current events that are circulating. It is okay if you need a place to decompress and just relax. There are other ways to be involved in/support causes and you are allowed to set boundaries on social media platforms without it being indicative of your belief systems.
Your beliefs, values, ethics, and moral stances are not determined by whether or not you reblog something.
Look man it’s taken me almost 30 years to figure out a fraction of who I am and maybe that’s an indicator of how slowly I learn or maybe that’s just how long it takes for us to rid ourselves of the toxic sludge adults filled our cups with as children but I will fill my own damn cup from here on out
Don’t let anyone make you feel like time is running out. You’ve got so much time to learn and change and grow and wither and rebirth reparent and repair yourself from all the wounds you survived and learn how to thrive for the first time
y'all know testosterone isn’t a contraceptive, right? it is Very important to me y'all know testosterone is not a contraceptive.
even if testosterone stops your menstrual cycle, if you were able to conceive before starting hrt, there is still a chance you can conceive while on testosterone!!
please use actual contraception!!
let me know if i’m out of my lane here but it’s also important to note that estrogen also shouldn’t be relied on as a primary contraceptive if you haven’t had an orchiectomy!
it can very heavily reduce your sperm count but there’s still very much a non-zero chance you can get someone pregnant, i’ve heard tons of stories from trans couples who were certain that they were in the clear because one partner was taking estrogen and the other was taking testosterone but ended up getting pregnant anyway! please be safe and do your research!
friendly reminder that you didn’t waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort, any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of.
Remember that even good changes can make us feel depressed, because, as creatures of habit, we’re resistant to change. That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t the right choice.
