Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
Honestly “queer” is so useful for people like me w/ a “complicated orientation” b/c instead of having to say I’m “asexual panromantic” and explain what that means, I can just say “I’m queer” and it tells you all you need to know (that I’m not straight).
yeah sure good for you but don’t ever ever use that word for someone who doesn’t identify as it themselves, it’s not an umbrella term for everyone. also “pan/ace” would definitely work, even if you don’t want to use it, other people could. i use ace lesbian and definitely not the q slur.
Wow its almost like they were just talking about using it on themselves for individual reasons and you butted in to be an ass and be condescending because you think you’re superior for not using queer, then you called their identity a slur right to them. But that can’t possibly be what you were trying to do, right?
Anyone is allowed to use it for themselves, I never said no one should do that if that’s what they want. Queer is a slur though. I just want people to be aware of that, I have no idea if OP is aware of that or not but some people using that word aren’t. I’m tired of people including me and other people who don’t want to be included in that word, and before anyone asks, I never meant that OP did that, because I literally have no idea if they do.
Queer is a slur as much as any other LGBT+ word, I just want you to be aware of that.
“Gay” is used as an insult. It is used to be demeaning. Its used to discriminate. And yet its used as the all mighty umbrella - gay rights, gay marriage, gay community - when discussing the entire community.
Gay gets used as a slur. Queer gets used as a slur. But I don’t walk up to gay people and say “your identity is a slur, you know that right” or get pissed when they say “the gay community” when they mean the whole community.
Personal identity and preference in terms, even harmful words that get used as slurs, are not questioned; except for the word Queer.
Queer gets shut down. Queer people get others in their faces saying “your identity is a slur!” Queer people don’t have the freedom to identify in a community, but are forced under other terms against their will due to hypocrisy and double standards.
So if you’re not going to come onto gay people’s posts for the same behavior, maybe critically analyze why exactly you feel the need to be so condescending to Queer people, specifically on posts that ONLY have to do with personal identity. Why you feel the need to insist to Queer people that their identities are slurs, to directly slap away the power of reclaiming a word from them by demanding it remain in the hands of the Straights as a perpetual slur.
I think an important difference between gay and queer is however, that queer started out as a slur used against members of the community and continues to be used as a slur in many places. Whereas gay began as a word the community chose itself to describe itself and was then later used by homophobes and heterosexuals in general in a negative way, meaning however, that gay doesn’t hold the same negative connotations as queer for many people simply because it was our word that they took, and not a word that they forced on us to make us “strange” or “other” like queer means.
That’s…. Not true. People think so because the history before gay was reclaimed is way older (older than any love community member’s lifetimes, probably,) but gay had the exact same origins.
It was meant to denote sexually perverse people, most frequently sex workers and those who hired them. Anyone who participated in anything but married, vanilla, straight sex might have been referred to as “gay,” including any suspected LGBT person.
The word (already being one frequently used on the community,) was reclaimed as a community identifier when the community wanted to disconnect from the clinical and diagnostic implications of “homosexual.”
There is record of queer being reclaimed and used as a personal identifier literally before the popularization of gay. Both words are reclaimed slurs with negative histories, and BOTH are used as slurs against the community still to this day.
The more recent history of the mid to late 20th century more prevalently favored queer as a slur, as is represented in our media. However its clearly undeniable that the switch back to gay as the popular community slur (along with the ever present f slur,) happened in the 2000s. Which is trying to be denied and rewritten by the anti queer crowd, who completely ignore the words popularity with community members who actually lived through when it was a popular slur.
Yes to all of this. When it comes to words for “not straight” there are hardly any choices that didn’t originate as ways to stigmatize or pathologize us. We are all using reclaimed slurs to describe ourselves.
Also, queer is reclaimed in a particularly empowering way. It doesn’t just mean “same-sex attraction” but encompasses a whole spectrum of attractions and gender orientations. It’s a word that says to asexuals, pansexuals, bisexuals, trans folks, genderfluid and genderqueer and genderless folks and people who are still figuring themselves out, “hey, you’ve got a home here. We don’t need to categorize you to love you.”
This is important because there are a lot of divisions within the LGBTQ+ world, and in particular cis gay men and cis lesbians often overlook or exclude trans, bi and asexual people. Queer is the only word that not only demands equal acceptance for everyone, but leaves the door open for words and descriptors that haven’t even been invented yet.
Somebody else pointed this out earlier to me, and of course I’ve lost the post, but it’s really suspicious that of all the reclaimed slurs, the one that gets the most pushback is the one that is most radically accepting of all identities
“hey, you’ve got a home here. We don’t need to categorize you to love you.”
Lmao yeah! the pushback against this idea is overt and disgusting and I don’t trust anybody who perpetuates it.
Queer is an ideology and an identity, historically and now. It is an umbrella for that ideology and an umbrella for those identities, historically and now. They can’t be conflated (with LGBT) and it’s super fucking disingenuous to pretend one is just the tarnished besmirched dirty slur version of the other. They’re different. In my particular work for example, Queer bioethics is different from LGBT bioethics and conflating the two will muddle any discussion you try to have about them because they lead to literally opposite conclusions in some cases.
Yeah I freaking love pancakes
Wait wrong post
By far the best addition to this post
This is one of those things where I feel like an old.
Like, *the* slogan I associate with pride is, “We’re here, we’re queer – get used to it!”
There was a TV show called “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” that was total mainstream pap. (Not that the show wasn’t riddles problematic elements from the concept out, but ‘queer’ in the title was clearly meant as a positive.)
I just have a hard time processing queer as anything but reclaimed.
They actually shot “Queer As Folk” in my city!
TERFs and radical gender/sexuality bianarists are flooding social media and blogging sites with propaganda smearing the word queer in the hopes of silencing all of us who don’t identify with their hate politics. I fought hard to reclaim the word queer in the late 80s and early 90s, and it’s the one word that doesn’t worship exclusion. Which is why these people are trying to convince you not to use it. fuck that noise. there is literally no word i could use to identify my sexuality that hasn’t been thrown at me in hatred, fear, and violence. No way am I giving up the one of those that allows me to talk about all of my community without trying to put people in boxes they don’t fit in.
I will never not reblog this post. Queer, queer, queer here.
“Queer” has been claimed by queer people as a self-descriptor since at least 1910. It’s an insult to those historical people (and all the generations of queer historical people who have identified as queer since then) to pretend that the people using it as a slur owned it more than the queer people who used it as a self-descriptor.
Source: George Chauncey, “Gay New York,” page 101
They don’t want us to use queer because they don’t want to be lumped in with anyone who’s not cis gay or cis lesbian. So fine. You don’t like the word queer? You don’t want to be in the “queer” community? Get the fuck out, then. Y'all don’t welcome us in your community anyway, so we’ll just have our own.
And it’ll be queer as fuck.
I fucking love the word queer ❤
Or, to put it another way, using a great old slogan of the community: I’m not gay as in happy, I’m queer as in fuck you.
Yes yes yes yes yes! These younglings today don’t know their queer history but feel so free to comment on it. Trying so desperately to assimilate into straight culture by turning your nose up at queer, and all the people who take refuge under its umbrella. Queer accepted me when nobody else would, not even the LGBT groups.
Queer is full of the types of people who don’t make good poster children for the middle class assimilationist cis gay couple just looking to get married and have some kids. Queer forces us to realize the fight didn’t end with gay marriage, and cis gays are gonna have to step out of the spotlight sometimes, and realize cis gays have privilege, and fight for someone with less. Trans people, nonbinary people, people in nontraditional relationship structures, aromantics, asexuals, sex workers. Heck more and more bisexual people these days are switching over to queer because the amount of biphobia in the so-called lgBt community is so alienating, and also because so many of us feel the term bisexual reinforces a false gender dichotomy and we’re too tired of jokes about kitchenware to use pansexual.
Part of what I love about the term queer is that it does make people uncomfortable. It makes them aware of their privilege, exposes certain biases, even within the LGBT community. What’s so wrong with a movement that strives to fight for everybody, huh? Huh?
Proudly bi, proudly queer, and being part of this movement when I was young was an honor.
FOR REAL, I JUST WATCHED A VIDEO OF A GIRL DRESSING UP AS ANNA AND SHE WENT TO HER LOCAL MALL
SHE WENT INTO THE DISNEY STORE
WHEN A LITTLE GIRL CAME UP TO HER AND TRIED TO TALK TO HER
THE COSPLAYER WALKED AWAY
AND LOOKED AT THE LITTLE GIRL LIKE SHE WAS NUTS
THAT IS HORRIBLE
I USED TO DRESS UP AS SNOW WHITE FOR CHARITY EVENTS WITH CHILDREN
I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW AWKWARD IT WAS WHEN OUR ELSA DID NOT TALK TO CHILDREN
SHE WAS NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING OR BEING AROUND THE KIDS AND THAT MAKES THE KIDS UNCOMFORTABLE!!!
IF YOU ARE COSPLAYING A CHARACTER THAT IS POPULAR AMONG CHILDREN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE NICE TO KIDS
TO THEM, THEY ARE ACTUALLY MEETING THIS CHARACTER THAT THEY LOVE OR KNOW
IT IS UP TO YOU TO NOT BE A DICK
You also gotta know that if you’re going somewhere where there will be children and you’re in a costume even slightly similar to a Disney character they will think you are that character.
My hair is dyed white and at last year’s Ren Fest I was dressed as a water nymph. So i was in all blue, with glittery blue heeled boots on. Personally, I would have never thought that I looked like Elsa. I had leggings on, not a dress. And no ice themed anything. But that didn’t stop the sweetest little princess from asking me if I was Elsa.
I’ll admit that I was thrown for a loop, since I thought I was a pretty convincing mermaid on land with my scale print leggings. But I’m not a dick so I quickly recovered and said I was her cousin. Kids are more than happy to accept that and she smiled then shyly ran back to her mom to tell her she met Elsa’s cousin.
If you’re in a glittery costume of any sort, in a place where children will be, be prepared to be nice to them. Otherwise you’re just a jerk. No one likes jerks.
Don’t be a dick.
Seriously. If I go anywhere in ANY costume, no matter if I’m a princess, hero, or villain, I’m nice to the kids. They just wanna play!
I actually went to Halloween at Disney World in my wedding dress, this giant, poofy, custome made white Renaissance gown, with hair down to my waist and a tiara.
A little girl in the lobby came running toward me, arms out, yelling PRINCESS!!!! I had a slight moment of horror when I realized she was soaking wet and I was wearing white silk, but you can bet your ass my Scotch Guarded self gave her a hug and had a lovely conversation it her about her vacation.
If you’re gonna be a princess, be a true princess and show love to your littlest of subjects, they will never forget your kindness OR your disdain.
Dads who refuse to do anything that is traditionally considered “feminine” with their daughters are lame dads. I’ve been in the store and overheard a dad tell his little girl who might have been 12 to go by herself to go get pads after she asked him to go with her. “Go get them yourself.” and he looked mortified she even asked him to go. Like dude she clearly looks like she needs help. Take her to the god damn tampon/pad section and help her and if you don’t know what she needs go ask some one in their pharmacy to point out a good choice for you. Tampons and pads are part of pharmacy so chances are they will be able to help. Fuck all that. Help your daughters! They ask you to paint their nails, do it. It might turn out messy but so what? They ask you to have a tea party, do it. Sure the tea might be imaginary or just water and served out of tiny pink cups but get over it.
This. Also, don’t be afraid to teach your daughters “manly” things. You’re building something and she asks what you’re doing? Tell her. Teach her how to use that drill and do it right. Going hunting and she wants to come? Bring her along. She likes auto shop? Take her out to the garage. Even if she doesn’t, teach her how to do a basic oil change, how to change a tire. Teach her how to do things for herself and that she is fully capable of doing it. Don’t divide your kids into gender roles, see them as people.
A new video series from Planned Parenthood is illustrating just how sexy consent is.
Published on Sept. 21, the four videos created by Planned Parenthood discuss consent and how integral it is in healthy hook ups and relationships. The videos cover topics including the definition of consent, and the signals to look out for when your partner is just not into it.
Hey this might be cute and I know OP isn’t actually the person that did this, but please don’t reblog this uncritically and encourage this kind of behavior. Mother deer frequently leave their fawns for hours on end to feed, and because of this people often try to ‘save’ them thinking that they’ve been abandoned. If the parking lot was really that busy this person should have maybe attempted to contact the owners and set up a blockade around the fawn, or moved it off the pavement into the trees seen in the picture. Picking up a fawn, let alone putting it in your car, is extremely stressful for the animal and could have possibly prompted the mother to attack if she was nearby.
Deer might be cute, but they’re wild animals and carry diseases. If you suspect that a fawn has been abandoned (as in you haven’t seen the mother for a couple days), call a local professional to deal with the animal in a proper, safe method.
^ as above. Don’t go just picking up wildlife you think might be abandoned.
Wildlife rehabber here.
There are only three reasons you should ever remove a fawn from where you found it:
if it is visibly wounded
if it is covered in flies or fly eggs
if it is crying out
If any of those three things are true, then you should contact a licensed wildlife rehabilitator and ask to bring the fawn in to them. Do not attempt to raise it on your own. Fawns have very specific nutritional requirements and need special formula–you can’t just feed it the cow’s milk in your fridge–and require round-the-clock care. If you’re hand-raising a fawn, or any other baby mammal, you’re not gonna get a full night’s sleep until it’s weaned. Not unless you want a stunted, emaciated baby.
We’ve already had a couple kidnapped fawns this season, and it is not pretty. The animals were stressed and miserable, and their mothers were certainly the same. When their fawns go missing, does spend 4-10 days searching the area and calling out for their babies–highly stressful and completely unnecessary.
Additionally, if you see a fawn, do not touch it unless you have been told by a licensed rehabber to bring it in. For the first few weeks of their lives, fawns’ legs are too weak to follow their mother, so the does will leave them in a safe place while they go out to eat. During this period of their lives, fawns have no scent. This is a defensive adaptation that protects the fawn from predators; when the fawn lays perfectly still and silent, predators will sometimes walk right past it without realizing it. If you touch a fawn, you will transfer some of your scent onto its fur. Not only does this make it more noticeable to predators, but there’s a chance that the doe will reject her baby because it’s basically become a coyote magnet.
So in short, leave fawns where you find them. If it’s in a busy area, try to keep people away from the fawn.
In extreme circumstances, a rehabber may ask you to move it, to a quieter area nearby, but you should only do so if you are instructed to. But you’re most likely to find it in a quiet spot away from people, in which case you should just leave it alone.
The doe will not return to nurse her fawn if she sees, hears, or smells you anywhere near it–you’re a dangerous predator and she doesn’t want you to know where her baby is–so the best thing you can do is just leave. Leave the area completely. If you want to check back in about twelve hours, you can, but the absolute best thing you can do for a quiet, clean, uninjured fawn is leave it alone.
It’s gonna be fawn season soon, and I have a lot more followers now than I did when I originally made this post.
Read. Know. Please stop kidnapping fawns.
Mothers leave their fawns for THE FAWNS SAFETY. If the mother stays for too long it can attract predators, so it leaves the fawn in thick grass/undergrowth to feed for a few hours, then comes back for the fawn to suckle milk. These animals have been around for centuries they know how to survive without human intervention.
i hate the anxiety that comes with loving something so dearly and knowing that in a matter of months it’ll become seen as a “cringy” interest
some of the people reblogging this are 13/14 years old and that makes me so sad. who in all hell is trying to drain the happiness and enjoyment out of something that means the world to kids in middle school?? thats evil im so sorry people are already trying to keep you from loving things that don’t harm anyone.
people who were lied to. people who were told some time in THEIR middle school years the same, and are continuing the cycle of shame. it’s pretty sad to think about.
This is why I don’t believe in “cringey” interests. Like, it might be cringey TO ME, I might look at it and go “why the fuck would anybody care about this,” but you know what? It doesn’t matter because it’s not my interest. It’s what makes you happy, and if it makes you happy, I’m glad you have it.
Please spread this shit like wildfire. People go on and sit through the whole experience and they’re uncomfortable because they just want to please their partner and they don’t tell them that they want to stop because they are not ready. It’s okay not to be ready.
i thought somebody else might need to hear this, because i did.
This actually happened with me and my girlfriend when we were first dating.
Now we’re engaged! :D
Communication is important.
I agree!
really super fuckin important
If your partner doesn’t respond with understanding & care , dump them. Any anger or arguing in response to this type of situation is abusive. Consent is not a debate.
yeah I love this. I get so nervous that I’ll be rejected if I get scared
• it’s ok if you accomplish things “more slowly” than other people
• it’s ok if you find difficultly in what others consider “easy”
• it’s ok if you fall behind, you will still reach your destination
• it’s ok to take life at your own pace
