littlethingwithfeathers:

vaspider:

Okay y'all, I have to tell you that I was super skeptical of Antoni-From-Queer-Eye (little-known fact, Netflix makes them legally change their names)’s new show, Easy-Bake Battle.

ALT

But like… it’s charming, actually? Antoni has such a genuine energy and it’s extremely effective. Everyone is really kind and the guest judges are charming. There’s a holiday episode where one of the contestants makes an Eid dessert! Someone makes an everything bagel waffle?

And all of y'all that are always on here on Tumblr eagerly interacting with posts where us old folx tell you how to make food or make things easier on yourself will love this damn show. Part of what contestants are judged on is how easy/simple the recipe is and how many neat shortcuts/cost-cutting tips and tricks they can incorporate into their dishes. You will see things like:

• How to cook frozen broccoli so you can’t tell it was frozen
• How to cook shrimp if you only have access to a coffee pot (no, really)
• How to poach an egg in the microwave and why acid matters when you do
• How to get crispy skin on salmon when baking it
• How to do things like ‘use a metal hair pick to get evenly-spaced slices of cucumber’
• How to plan ahead so you can reuse today’s leftovers for tomorrow’s dinner

A lot of baking/cooking shows are either “you can’t do this and it’s fun to have catastrophe when you try” (Nailed It! & all its many-language spinoffs) or “you can’t do this but it’s neat to watch the people who can” (literally every other show including GBBO) - they’re all aspiration. This show is aspirational in an extremely achievable way, and it is that way on purpose and with intention. I am obsessed with it, because I really love cooking for people and I love when people learn how easy it is to make quality food that tastes good. It is a skill and you can learn it, and once you do, it’s a fun game. I literally lay in bed while I’m drifting off to sleep and daydream about flavor combinations. (I’m gonna do dates and goat cheese and walnuts and basalmic vinaigrette - sweet, fat, salt/savory, acid - on butter lettuce for dinner tomorrow. Been thinking about it all night. I got a big bag of dates to use for my 3-day brisket and I gotta use some of them up, I can’t use this huge bag on the brisket.)

Literally everything on this show is something you could make. And you should try! Go watch it, and like… try to make something from it, and then come tell me about your successes. I love hearing about when people enjoy cooking.

This is what I miss about the old Food Network of like… the early 2000s. There were so many shows on there that were about food you could make yourself and how food worked. 30 Minute Meals. Good Eats. How to Boil Water. Like… they had a few shows that were in the reality TV genre, like the ORIGINAL Iron Chef. But now that’s like… all it is. Especially in the evening. 

In addition to the guy above, I strongly suggest you check out your local public TV station. They also have or air actual how-to type cooking shows.

31-rabbits:

aliensnipe:

What if there were women’s cleanliness products that were marketed the way Old Spice stuff is? Like they had names like “Lioness” and “Sycamore” and “Wildfire” and “Hunter’s Moon” and they were touted as making you smell like a warrior queen who does not suffer fools and conquers all she beholds

HELLO LADIES

have you felt the primal call of the unmerciful sea calling you to strike down those who would defy you? no? well if you stopped using overpriced flower-scented body wash and switched to SEA HAG, you might. 

look down.

back up. where are you? you’re a siren, bare-breasted and shrieking as you lure the unwary to their doom on the rocks below. and you smell amazing. 

what’s in your hand? back at me. it’s a vial of skin-nourishing ingredients, derived from the seaweed you used to strangle a hated foe. it does wonders for your skin tone and resilience, and we all can agree that we will need that resilience in the coming war.

look again: the seaweed is now a formal apology from the last man who unnecessarily tried to explain something to you.

anything is possible when you smell like a vengeful sea witch and embrace your own rage. i’m on a narwhal.