Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
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tirlaeyn:

I would like to hear more about Cactus Guy from Encanto

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lasrina:

Hey, new friend, let me tell you about the Encanto character all the fanfic writers are totally sleeping on.

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I have named him Cacti Miguel, because Jorge is taken, and obviously average Encanto resident rolls in zero cacti per year but Miguel, here, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

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This cannot be an accident. This man looks like he deliberately went out and found a patch of prickly pears to roll around in. Even if we assumed he had the same accident-prone gene as Agustín and Mirabel, I really think that getting oneself into this situation had to take some skill.

Therefore, this is the one man in the Encanto who’s possibly enough of a disaster for me to ship with Bruno, and one day I’m going to write the story of their relationship, including the series of bad life decisions that led to the deep resignation on his face in this moment.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

“why do we even have that lever” is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)

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i find implications hilarious:

  1. kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn’t even manage that
  2. but on the other hand, it’s easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one’s on yzma tbh
  3. yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just…just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn’t need to have a function
  4. upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: “why do we even HAVE that lever?” it’s because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. “why do we have that lever?” because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!
apriki: “ My lords, my ladies - and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion! Today… today, you find yourselves equals. For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege - nay, the pleasure - of introducing to you to a knight,...

apriki:

My lords, my ladies - and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion! Today… today, you find yourselves equals. For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege - nay, the pleasure - of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne! I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me still further in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishing of her dreadful Turkish uncle. In Greece, he spent a year in silence… just to better understand the sound… of a whisper. And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ullllllllllrrrich von Lichtenstein!