normalize autistic people having sex lives. normalize autistic people expressing sexual attraction. normalize autistic people having, boyfriends, girlfriends, or datemates. normalize autistic people masturbating. normalize hypersexual autistic people. normalize autistic people having friends with benefits and casual sex. stop infantilizing autistic people & acting like we don’t want sex or relationships.
Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
It’s autism acceptance month so I thought it was a good time to do another one of my doodles. Functioning labels are something that’ve been bothering me for a while.
As always, I’m sure there are spelling/grammar mistakes, despite checking it 3 billion times I’m sure something will have escaped my notice.
This is a very popular view in the autistic community but I don’t claim to represent the views of all autistic people.
Going from memory I think @butterflyinthewell @neurowonderful and @autisticliving have a lot to say about functioning labels so I’m just gonna hopefully wave my bad doodle from a tiny blog at the cool kids :D
protect autistic people who aren’t good at math.
protect autistic people who aren’t good at robotics.
protect autistic people who aren’t good at engineering.
protect autistic people who aren’t good at physics.
protect autistic people who like art, or writing, or film, or theatre, or biology.
protect autistic people who don’t have “conventional” or “stereotypical” interests.
protect autistic people who don’t fit the “albert einstein” or “sheldon cooper” trope.
you are valid. you are autistic.
Stimming!
What is stimming?
In it’s most simple form, stimming is a repetitive body movement that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner.
What types of stims are there?
- Visual Stims
- Flapping hands, blinking and/or moving fingers in front of eyes, staring repetitively at a light, pressing on closed eyes to create visual effect [pressure phosphene], …
- Auditory Stims
- Snapping fingers, tapping on objects, listening to the same song on a loop, rolling Rs, “cat noises”, repeating words, putting hands over ears, singing, clicking tongue, humming…
- Tactile Stims
- Scratching, rubbing the skin with one’s hands or with an external object, pinching the skin, putting thumb inside fist, sucking thumb, rubbing hands/feet together, petting preferred textures, tying knots/twirling string, twirling/stroking hair…
- Vestibular Stims
- Moving body in rhythmic motion, rocking front and back or side-to-side, spinning, pacing, walking in circles, walking on tip-toes, jumping up and down…
- Taste Stims
- Licking body parts, licking an object…
- Smell Stims
- Smelling objects or hands, smelling other people…
- Rhythmic Stims
- Tapping on surfaces/objects/self, clicking fingers, making repetitive vocal sounds, bouncing legs, foot tapping, hand flapping, clicking pens, …
There are a lot of other stims as well that don’t necessarily fall under the category of “repetitive” such as pressure stimming, which are still just as valid. Basically if what you do serves the purpose of the stim, you can call it a stim.
Why do people stim?
People stim for all different kinds of reasons. They may stim when they are happy or excited, when they are stressed, as a part of their normal body language, as a way of communication, as a punishment, as a response to something internal or external, as a compulsion, to focus, to self soothe, etc. Stimming can be a coping mechanism, but it can also be so much more! No matter what reason someone has for stimming though, it’s important to remember that all stims are natural and normal.
Who stims?
Anyone that finds stimming useful, whether consciously or subconsciously, can stim. This includes neurotypicals, but mainly stimming is seen as something that neurodivergent people do and it occurs most frequently in:
- the autism spectrum
- sensory processing disorder (SPD)
- Tourette’s
- schizophrenia
- OCD
- people that experience mania/hypomania
- people with ADHD/ADD
- people with anxiety
- etc
Where can I find stim toys/jewelry?
@ allistic feminists: suggesting that misogynistic men are autistic is in no way a cute, funny, or radical thing to do
Signs for the protest at the Chicago Autism Speaks Walk tomorrow.
“
The panel discussion being broadcast was teens and adults with autism and how federal funding could better support them. As the show closed, the moderator asked if anyone on the panel felt a vaccine had caused their autism.
Silence.
One teen panelist spoke up, “no, but it hurts that you would ask that question.”
The moderator’s tone softened, he apologized and asked why. I’m going to paraphrase the boy’s response because it has been several years and for the life of me I have not been able to find a transcript of this event anywhere, which has driven me to madness. If anyone from C-SPAN reads this and knows the talk I’m referring to, please send me a transcript! The panelist’s response was incredibly moving and I wish I could give him credit for it and do his response justice.
As I recall his response was, “because it makes me feel like I’m damaged or broken, when I’m not. I was born this way. My brain just works differently than most other people’s. When people talk about vaccines and autism it makes me feel like I’m not a person but a ‘bad result.’ It reminds me that no one wants a kid like me and parents will risk their kid’s lives and everyone else’s just to make sure their kid doesn’t turn out like me.”
There was silence on the radio. By this time I’d pulled into our parking spot at home and sat in the car in silence as well. It was a moment of epiphany.
Oh bleep, I thought. I’ve never thought of it like that.
The panelist’s words were so loaded and unfiltered. He was speaking from the heart and I could imagine the pain he felt when he described that some parents would rather have their children die than turn out like him. That is an incredible and completely unnecessary burden for any child to carry around, yet any time vaccines were discussed, those assumptions were coded in language.
“A person wearing headphones and/or avoiding eye-contact when you are talking isnt necessarily ‘rude’. That person may be autistic and most probably finds it easier to listen like that! Please respect their sensory needs!”
Just a quick PSA.
I’m feeling a lot less pissed off at neurotypicals today so that calls for less angry art.
Avoiding eye contact and wearing headphones all the time is often perceived by neurotypical people as a rather rude gesture. This is unfortunate and is something that really has to be unlearnt for the benefit of autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people who do these things.
Autistic people (as well as some other neurodivergent people) avoid eye contact because the experience ranges from uncomfortable and mildly distressing to very painful and upsetting. Avoiding eye contact is much more comfortable and natural for a lot of us and makes us feel a bit more at ease interacting with people and the world in general. (I will add though that not all autistic people avoid eye contact but enough of us do that it needs to be respected. If you meet a person who says they are autistic but are able to make eye contact yes they are still autistic.)
Forcing an autistic person to make eye contact with you is not only incredibly rude and insensitive, but it is also an act of ableism. You are in no way entitled to force anyone to make eye contact with you. Please respect autistic and otherwise neurodivergent peoples need to avoid eye contact.
Wearing headphones all the time is something a lot of autistic people and people with sensory processing disorder do to avoid sensory overload and meltdowns that can be caused by loud noises or too many noises at once. It is important to remember that our hearing can be more sensitive than yours so what we perceive as loud might not seem that loud to you but that doesnt change the fact that it may still be painful to us.
If an autistic person wears headphones while interacting with you they are not being rude, they are avoiding pain, sensory overload and potential meltdowns. Please respect this. If you try to force an autistic person to remove their headphones you are being rude and insensitive and being very ableist.
That is all for now, unless I have forgotten something. Thank you.
Instead of Lighting it up Blue…
I found this thing I wrote a while ago, it’s a list of things neurotypicals can do to actually help autistic people
- Don’t tell me how normal I look, or how no one would ever know I’m autistic. Understand that I have spent a lifetime learning how to appear normal.
- Don’t take my language away from me. I am autistic. I don’t want to describe myself as “on the spectrum” or having aspergers. Please respect that.
- Let me stim. Let me flap when I’m upset.
- Don’t force me to talk when I’m having a meltdown. Don’t force me to make eye contact or show physical affection either. Yes, of course I still love you but I’m spending all of my energy trying to hold myself together at this moment.
- Acknowledge societal biases like sexism in regards to autism.
- Don’t support autism speaks for anything.
- Do your research. Read accounts of other autistic adults. You know how to use google.
- Understand that autism is part of my identity. A lot of times its a pain in the ass but I’m actually proud of being autistic at times.
- Trust me that I know my abilities best. You might think something is easy or even if I’ve done it before, if I say I can’t you need to listen. Sometimes I can act neurotypical with a large amount of effort, but if I’m stressed I might not be able to do that thing I did last week.
- Just… listen to us
Somebody once asked me, a little horrified I think, “Wait - what are the bad parts of being neurotypical??”
I’d made an offhand comment about how being autistic has good and bad parts, just like being neurotypical has good and bad parts.
I think one the bad parts of being neurotypical is that you don’t get so many of the amazing parts of being, for example, autistic.
Neurotypical people can fidget, for instance, but they can’t ever know how good it feels to have your body just flow into a stim, to feel your thoughts start lining up or your body get comfortable when you stim the way you need to. Autistic people (and some others!) have this amazing experience where our bodies find motions that express and comfort and regulate in ways that neurotypical people can never fully understand.
And neurotypical people can enjoy sensory experiences, but to be autistic is to have a unique relationship with sensory input. So much of our sensory experiences are amplified compared to those of NTs , and while that can and does cause overload etc. sometimes… when the input is good? It’s glorious. Good fabrics and good sounds and good smells and good tastes and textures - we get to feel them all more intensely.
And echolalia! Echolalia is so good and so enjoyable and neurotypical people, I think, get only the barest shadow of what it’s like.
NTs can have hobbies and passions and callings, but they can’t ever, ever know the pure and consuming joy that is a special interest.
There are good and bad parts to being autistic. Neurotypicals, you’re going to have to accept that, and along with it the concept that autistic people have good experiences that you, by virtue of being neurotypical, simply cannot have.
You don’t see yourself as an object of pity because you lack those experiences, do you? You aren’t going to pour millions into research to have brains like ours, are you? I mean, even if you could do it, you wouldn’t be you anymore. And the way your brain works is just fine for you, you don’t mind not having good autistic experiences because you have your own!
Well - same. I don’t want to be neurotypical. Being autistic is an integral part of my personality, and I wouldn’t give up my good autistic experiences for a shot at your neurotypical ones in a million years. What I want is to be accepted for who I am as an autistic person, for people to respect and accommodate my needs the way the world respects and accommodates your needs as a neurotypical person.