autisticliving:

In honor of Autism Awareness Month, what about shutting up, sitting the fuck down and listening to what autistic people have to say about autism?

1. Autism is a fundamental part of who we are and how we experience the world and it cannot be separated from who we are as people. Autism isn’t something that is happening to us, it’s something we are. Do not tell us that autism is something that we have or something that we’re suffering from, that we only have value if we can separate our identities and our personalities from autism. For the vast majority of autistic people, autism is a part of our identity which means that despite common belief most of us prefer to be called “autistic” as opposed to “people with autism.”

2. The vast majority of autistic people do not want a cure, we want acceptance and accommodations. Do not put your time and money into researching how to cure autism and how to prevent it, put time and money into accommodating and accepting autistic people. We do not wish to become neurotypical, we wish to change society so that we can be accommodated, accepted and included as autistic people. Our goal isn’t to become as close to neurotypical as possible, it is to get the opportunity to live happy, fulfilling lives as autistic people. It is society that needs to chance, not us.

3. We do not support Autism Speaks or their campaign #LightItUpBlue and neither should you. If you want to support autistic people, check out ASAN or Autism Women’s Network instead. If you want to know why Autism Speaks isn’t supported by autistic people, this post contains links to a lot of resources on the topic.

4. Functioning labels are inaccurate and harmful and they do not give a nuanced description of what kind of support an autistic person needs. Instead of calling an autistic person “high functioning” or “low-functioning” name the specific issues or strengths you’re referring to. Are they non-verbal? Say that. Are they able to manage a job? Say that. Are they unable to drive? Say that. Do not attempt to force us into two boxes, one of which are used to invalidate or struggles and ignore our deficits and the other one being used to ignore our assets and deny our humanity.

5. Non-verbal autistic people can and do learn to communicate using other communication forms than verbal speech and they’re all individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, wants and opinions. You do not get to speak on behalf of non-verbal autistic people. You do not get to assume that you know exactly what they think, want and feel, especially not when you have never made any effort to communicate with any of them. Instead of assuming that you know what non-verbal autistic people think and feel, try listening to what they have to say by reading the words of some non-verbal autistic people such as @lysikan or Amy Sequenzia or Emma Zurcher-Long.

6. ABA is harmful and abusive. The goal of ABA isn’t to help autistic people develop coping methods and helpful strategies, it is to train and force them into hiding their autistic traits by all means possible. If you do not see why this is a problem or if you want to learn more about why it is such a big problem, this masterpost by @neurowonderful contains a lot of resources on why ABA is harmful.

7. If you want to learn more about autism, listen to autistic people - not our parents, our siblings, our therapists our or caregivers. Autistic people are the ones who know the most about being autistic, so if you want to learn about autism we’re the ones you should ask. If you want to learn more about the different aspects of autism, @neurowonderful‘s youtube series “Ask An Autistic” is a good place to start. You can also send any questions you might have about autism to @askanautistic where autistic people are ready to answer them for you.

Please reblog this post to spread the word even if you do not plan to share anything else in connection with Autism Awareness Month.

theconcealedweapon:

(I have previously posted this. This is an updated version. I will be posting this on my facebook on April 2. Let me know if I should add anything.)

Time for some real autism awareness, and not any of that “light it up blue” bullshit.

• The consensus among the autistic community is that Autism Speaks is a hate group. If you want to know why, just google “what’s wrong with autism speaks”. Some examples are their videos “I Am Autism” which makes autistic people seem like burdens, and “Autism Every Day” which features a mother talking about wanting to murder her autistic daughter. If you want to actually help autistic people, you should support Autistic Self Advocacy Network.
  
• Light It Up Blue and the puzzle piece are not supported by the autistic community.
• Contrary to popular belief, most autistic people prefer “autistic person” over “person with autism”. Autism is something we are, not something we have. You cannot separate a person from their autism. The only time “person with autism” should be used is when they specifically ask to be called that.
• The number of people diagnosed with Autism is not “shocking”. We exist. Get over it.
  
• There aren’t more autistic people now. Those who are autistic are just more likely to be diagnosed now.
• It is up to each individual disabled person to decide whether their disability needs to be cured. Abled people should not be the ones deciding that. Also, acceptance must come first, because some disabled people may want to be cured only because they don’t know that acceptance is an option.
• Most autistic people do not want to be cured. We want to be accepted, not removed from the gene pool. Most autistic people believe that the struggles involving autism are caused by how society treats autistic people, not by autism itself. A non-autistic version of an autistic person would be a completely different person. Curing us would be like murdering us and putting someone else in our bodies.
• Even if a cure was possible, it would most likely be very dangerous. People have tried bleach to cure autism, and that doesn’t even work. If a cure actually did work, one can only imagine how dangerous it can be with society still accepting it.
• Autistic children become autistic adults. It is impossible for an autistic person to grow out of their autism. We just figure out ways to appear less autistic in order to be accepted, so it may appear that we grew out of it.
• An autistic adult who hasn’t been diagnosed yet has most likely spent their entire life trying to be normal, which causes their autistic traits to be less visible, so it’s very difficult for an autistic person to be diagnosed as an adult. 
  
• Functioning labels do not help autistic people. They just label us based on how well we can pretend to not be autistic. Instead, state a person’s needs directly (nonverbal autistic person, autistic person who also has a learning disability, etc.) Many autistic people can’t be put into a category because they fit some characteristics of being high functioning and some of being low functioning. Also, unlike the autism condition itself, a person’s functioning label can change over time.
• It’s commonly believed in the autism community that autism affects all genders equally. Women/girls are just severely under-diagnosed.
• Autistic people are just as diverse as non-autistic people. Not every autistic person is going to remind you of that one autistic person you know.
• For a detailed scientific explanation of how vaccines cause autism, go to howdovaccinescauseautism.com.
• Even if vaccines did cause autism, you must really hate autistic people if you’re willing to expose your children and any immune-deficient children to deadly diseases in order to prevent autism.
• You are not an “autism family” unless your entire family is autistic. Actual autism families exist.
• You’re allowed to think that an autistic person is annoying. Just know that we’re allowed to think you’re annoying too.
• “I didn’t know they were autistic” is not an excuse. Do not make fun of anyone for being different in a way that’s not hurting anyone else.
• Do not accuse someone of faking a disability. The harm caused by a person faking is much less than the harm caused by a person being wrongly accused of faking. Not all disabilities are visible. Not all disabled people fit the stereotypes. Not all disabled people have been diagnosed.
• Do not dare someone to do something, pretending that people will like them if they do it, then laugh at them when they do it. Autistic people can’t read your mind and won’t know whether doing something will cause people to like them or think they’re weird.
• It’s okay to be surprised to find out that someone is autistic, but don’t compliment someone by telling them that they don’t seem autistic. It implies that being autistic is bad.
• Do not use “autistic” as an insult.
• Saying “talk to people” as advice for how to make friends is like saying “write numbers” as advice for someone who needs help in math. It’s just about as vague as you can get. If your advice cannot be taken literally (meaning that it’s possible to do something wrong while technically following the advice), it’s bad advice.
• Say what you mean. Not everyone can understand subtle hints and hidden meanings.
• Don’t expect something to come natural to everyone just because it comes natural to you, even if it actually does come natural to most people.
  
• Talking to people does not come natural to everyone. Not knowing how to talk to people is different from being shy or being afraid of rejection.
• If someone says that they’re unable to do something, the correct response is to help them find something similar that they are able to do (or maybe they’re okay with not being able to do it and don’t need your help at all). Do not just say “yes you can”. It’s not a compliment. It’s not reassuring. It’s just denying their personal experiences and making them feel like no one understands them.
• If someone tells you about a problem they have, don’t say that everyone experiences it. They know that’s not true. There’s most likely an important detail that you’re missing.
• Positive stereotypes are still harmful, because they erase those who don’t fit the stereotype.
• Autistic people are not all math geniuses. (I just happen to fit the stereotype.)
• If we try to be funny and end up offending someone, we’re expected to stop and apologize. You should too. Do not say “I was just kidding” and expect a free pass. In many cases “I was just kidding” is code for “Normal people consider what I did funny, so you should shut up and accept it.” If you make fun of someone as a joke, that person must be your target audience. If you make fun of someone to get laughs from someone else, you’re just being a bully.
  
• There is nothing “rude” about wanting to be left alone, not wanting to talk, or not making eye contact.
• Do not assume someone is lying to you just because they don’t make eye contact or they don’t maintain a straight face.
• Do not post videos online of your autistic child having a meltdown.
• Do not defend parents who murder their autistic children. I don’t even know why that has to be said.

jurassicsaphole:

• Autism Speaks is a hate group.
  
• The reasoning behind “Light It Up Blue” (that there are more autistic boys than girls) stems from a tendency in doctors to base their autism diagnoses on stereotypes and sometimes refuse to diagnose girls.
• Most autistic people don’t want a “cure” for autism and don’t support Autism Speaks.
• Autism Speaks has given abusive/ableist parents legitimacy by portraying autism as a terrifying, life-ruining affliction and sympathising with parents who have contemplated killing their children, or actually killed them.
• The views of autistic people are more important in this topic than the views of our allistic family members and peers.
• Autism is not a disease.
• Very little (about 4%) of Autism Speaks’ proceeds go toward supporting autistic people. More of it goes toward catering.
• Autism is not a tragedy.
• What autistic people need is acceptance, not awareness. 

againstthepuzzlepiece:

Ever.

I don’t care how frustrated you are, or how loud they are, or how scared you are of the police being called because they’re screaming so loud or getting violent

Yelling and swearing will make EVERYTHING worse.

Instead, try to help them calm down by teaching them how to breathe. If you’re in a busy place, move to a quiet area. Demonstrate slow, even breathing, and encourage them to slow their breathing. Don’t get mad if it doesn’t work right away. During meltdowns, bodily control goes WAY down. I, personally, usually go nonverbal or can only say a few basic phrases over and over, and I may not be able to control my body.

Speak in a quiet, calming voice and refrain from touching or getting too close until your child is at least partially calmed down. Then, ask before you touch. Focus on calming the person down, and then address what caused the meltdown.

For example, I had a really bad meltdown about three hours ago (which is why I’m making this post) because school is getting close and I still do not have my schedule or IEP finalized.

My dad yelled and swore at me, said that I wasn’t calming down because I didn’t WANT to calm down, that I had full control of my body, and that I could never take AP classes if I kept having meltdowns. Those comments all made my meltdown worse. What would have been better was if he-

1- Noticed me getting stressed out and helped me calm down before a full-blown meltdown started, instead of yelling at me for my anxiety and irrational thinking, and therefore escalating me into a meltdown.

2- Spoke in a quiet voice and helped me regulate my breathing.

3- Acknowledged that I was nonverbal and not in complete control of my body, and helped me regain control by regulating my breathing.

After about half an hour of screaming and yelling and crying, I was able to ask for my mother (say mommy over and over again), who is better at dealing with meltdowns. My father refused to call her because I was being “disobedient”

He should have

1- Called my mother.

2- Acknowledged that it was painfully difficult for me to speak and help deescalate the situation by deep breathing.

Only when I had the motor skills to call my mother and have her walk me through breathing was I able to mostly calm down.

Later, my mother came over and informed me that the situation that triggered me had been resolved. This is not always possible to accomplish, but even making tiny steps to decrease stress during a meltdown is great. I cried a bit more then, but from relief instead of stress.

Tl;dr: Be patient during meltdowns. Never yell. It’s much harder for us than it is for you.

autistic-pixie-chick:

I wish that there was enough acceptance of alternative communication methods in society that I could simply pull out my phone in the middle of a conversation or during a class discussion and use a synthetic voice software to speak without anyone judging me. Our society is still struggling to accept the use of alternative communication methods by people who actually can’t speak, the chances of them accepting the use of it by someone like me who is fully verbal but struggles to express thoughts out loud in as coherent a manner as I can online is very low. This is why I want Autism acceptance, because if you weren’t working so hard to change me then you might actually be able to hear my voice come through, you might actually be able to accept me for who I am.