Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
New Headcanon:
Under the Central Command same sex relationships and intercourse are strictly banned. But there are still a lot of queer Cardassians. Which leads to a vast majority of the Cardassian holosuite sex programs being queer.
They don’t use table salt, they use something akin to Garum (a sort of thin sauce made from fish used across the Roman empire)
Kanar is made of flowers and the colors are distinguished by wether or not berries were added (clearer blue is flowers only, the murkier brown and mauve colors have berries)
Cardassians, while capable of consuming grains and plants in general, still tend carnivorous and a lot of their cuisine reflects this. If one wanted to try and analyze regional Cardassian cultures based on the “wheat vs rice culture” system, they’d actually have to do it on a fishing vs pastoral system or something similar.
As a corollary to the previous, Cardassia subsidizes some basic food stuffs to make them more broadly affordable to those of any class, to prevent civil unrest. A lot of this is things like eggs or fish.
Personal headcanons of mine for one of my top five favorite Cardassians. (As of writing this I’ve not read A Stitch in Time yet, so bare that in mind.)
*The lies Garak told that involved another Cardassian, who he claimed was Elim, was actually Pythas. Pythas has been a friend and almost brother to Garak since Bamarren, and was also referred to as one of the Sons of Tain
*Pythas Lok’s code name was Agent Cova
*Also Beauty of the Order, as he was a very appealing face and his younger years drew attention. Honey-potted a lot of targets.
*One of the reasons he doesn’t speak much is because he has a slight lisp, and is incredibly self conscious about it
*Garak was the first to say he liked Pythas’ voice (one of the reasons Pythas began to have a crush on Garak)
*During their time as agents together, they had an open relationship, born out of convenience and affection
*Garak was always meant to succeed Tain, he was groomed to do so, Pythas was meant to be his support. With Garak’s sudden exile & Tain’s retirement barely a year later, Pythas was left to make do on his own. He hated it.
*They weren’t supposed to, but they kept in touch, even during Garak’s exile, though messages were few and far between. Pythas did what he could to make sure Garak always had another favor to pull, and made sure Dukat couldn’t have him executed
*Pythas survived through TWO purges in the Order through stubbornness, wit, and sheer paranoia. It cost him half his face and arm.
*When Alon helped the fall of Central Command and the citizen revolt, Pythas was enraged. He didn’t show it, because he doesn’t (often) let personal feelings influence his decisions, but he held the bitterness of the perceived betrayal by Alon, who he was mildly close to as Alon was his right hand all throughout Bamarren after Garak left, for many, many years.
*Nal Dejar was trained by Garak, and after Garak was gone Pythas needed someone he could mostly trust. He sent Nal on missions close to DS9 so he could hear about what was going on there. They ended up being close, especially as it is because of Nal that he survived the Dominion War at all
We don’t talk enough about the moment at the beginning of our man bashir where Julian tells Garak not to rain on his parade and Garak looks so thrilled and goes “a PARADE?”
this has me imagining what parades on Cardassia, an incredibly nationalistic and militaristic society, are like. they must be uproarious. imagine the fanfare for state holidays. for memorials. for celebrations of victory. parades on Cardassia must feel like such an outpouring of emotion that is usually kept tightly channeled. to celebrate with such gusto as to throw a parade must be a thing to behold. additionally, garak has such love for drama and fanfare and beautiful decorations. he must love especially love parades. in conclusion: let garak throw a parade on ds9 please.
What does post-canon Garak watch on Cardassian television when he’s home alone of an evening because his husband has a late shift at the hospital?
There are three levels to what Garak watches. The first is what he watches when Julian is around – the news, symphonies, ridiculous political dramas that Garak ridicules for their inaccuracy more than he watches them. The second is reality t.v., but things like Cardassian Big Brother where everyone is trying to stab everyone else in the back and alliances are made and destroyed by the second. This is what he’ll quickly change away from when Julian comes home and look sheepish about until Julian confronts him and tells him it’s ok to watch trashy television if that’s what makes him happy.
When he’s sure he’s absolutely alone, and you can’t convince me that he doesn’t have some way of tracking Julian, he uses an encrypted padd to watch Cardassian Hallmark movies. Most of them are about the tension between love of family and love of state with the peculiarity that oftentimes family wins out in these dramas. The general will abandon his political career to go make kanar with the woman of his dreams. The famed scientist will leave her studies behind to go planet hopping with a burly ship captain. He keeps tissues nearby and will occasionally indulge in a box of Delavian chocolates as he watches the whirlwind romance.
Julian has caught him a total of once. Garak had been hard at work pushing some new bills for housing reform through the senate and thought he could catch the tail end of The Uzantine Promise before Julian came home. Julian came home early and found a passed-out Garak sleeping on a padd that was portraying a drawn-out love confession between a Cardassian Glinn and a baker from a small fishing town. When Garak woke up, the padd was off (apparently out of battery) and a blanket was draped over his shoulders.
Julian is still saving his husband’s fondness for romances for a day when Garak gets upset with himself and declares himself as a heartless cog in the political machinery – something which happens about once a year at this point – and he can’t find another way to prove to him that he does have a heart.
One reason Julian hadn’t pursued a romantic relationship with Garak is he feared the increased scrutiny from Starfleet that such a relationship would necessitate and what it might reveal.
But after his augmentations are revealed, in the midst of anger and hurt thinking his life and career are already ruined, he finally confesses his feelings to Garak.
I’m just picturing him bursting into Garak’s quarters (or even his shop?) full of tears and anger and basically shouting “I love you! My life is over and I love you!”
Poor Garak would be so thrown off. Just picture his face! The range of emotions he would go through. Probably become convinced Julian is having some sort of episode. (Is that Betazoid back on the station?) But eventually he gets the whole story out of Julian. And they kiss.
When Starfleet decides to let Julian stay, Garak worries their romance is over, but Julian assures him that he’s not letting him go.
[IMG TEXT: @tirlaeyn for some reason I also thought of julian briefly convincing garak to flee the station with him before garak comes to his senses and realizes julian would forever regret abandoning his friends after which they either 1) face the music together 2) garak joins forces with the Ops crew to ensure Julian’s career and reputation are safe.]
A Concept:
One reason Julian hadn’t pursued a romantic relationship with Garak is he feared the increased scrutiny from Starfleet that such a relationship would necessitate and what it might reveal.
But after his augmentations are revealed, in the midst of anger and hurt thinking his life and career are already ruined, he finally confesses his feelings to Garak.
I’m just picturing him bursting into Garak’s quarters (or even his shop?) full of tears and anger and basically shouting “I love you! My life is over and I love you!”
Poor Garak would be so thrown off. Just picture his face! The range of emotions he would go through. Probably become convinced Julian is having some sort of episode. (Is that Betazoid back on the station?) But eventually he gets the whole story out of Julian. And they kiss.
When Starfleet decides to let Julian stay, Garak worries their romance is over, but Julian assures him that he’s not letting him go.
“Ah, I take it you’re here to pick up Mr. Snuffles,” Garak said the moment the Bajoran woman entered his shop.
The woman narrowed her eyes at him and nodded. A little Bajoran girl, about five years old, peeked out from behind her skirt. “Is he ok?” the girl asked, looking cautiously from her mother to Garak and back.
“Well, it was somewhat touch and go at times,” Garak said before the mother could respond, “and he’s been missing you, of course, but I think,” he set the repaired stuffed tubba doll on the counter, “that he is feeling as good as new.”
The girl rushed forward, a big smile plastered across her face. “Mr. Snuffles!” she exclaimed, grabbing the stuffed tubba off the counter.
“Thank you,” her mother said cautiously. She straightened up to her full height and looked him directly in the eyes. “What do I owe you?”
“Not a thing,” Garak said with an easy smile.
The mother stiffened. “You expect me to believe that a Cardassian…?”
“Madam, I don’t expect you to believe anything,” Garak interrupted. “The facts of the matter are that the repair of the stuffed tubba –”
“Mr. Snuffles,” the girl corrected.
“Mr. Snuffles,” Garak amended, “is absolutely free. If you are intent on spending latinum in my shop, however, might I suggest one of these Vitarian wool scarves?” He gestured to a rack of scarves to his left. “Perfect for keeping out the chill.”
“Thank you, but I would prefer to take my business elsewhere,” the Bajoran woman said.
“As you wish, madam,” Garak said, apparently unfazed by the lack of business. He turned his attention to the girl. “Now, you take good care of him, young lady,” he said. “He’s been a brave, little solider throughout his recovery, and I think your mother would prefer that he not have to come back here.”
The girl nodded solemnly before rushing out the door, the stuffed tubba held high over her head. Her mother gave him another critical once-over before following her daughter out the door.
The moment they were gone, Garak slumped onto the counter and pulled out a floppy stuffed sreen. Its fin had been nearly torn off and its back had been split open. “Only five more to go,” he noted wryly as he began fashioning a new fin out of green cloth.
@spocksbeanies
I love these notes! I figured the Bajoran woman didn’t have a lot of latinum to go around and ended up going to Garak’s shop because, being the only Cardassian on a largely Bajoran station, he has to give reduced prices to get any business. She may hate him, but she loves her daughter more, and her daughter loves Mr. Snuffles.
That being said, I love the idea of Garak trading in an underground plushie market with Bajoran children. Of course, he runs it a bit like the Obsidian Order, trading repaired toys for information. However, these are Bajoran kids who have been told over and over not to trust Caradassians so the secrets are largely things like who has the best candy on the station or that a Flaxian trader came aboard this morning with a cool toy that moves and lights up. Garak nods through the secrets with the utmost seriousness and then hands over the toy with the words: “your secret is safe with me.” The Bajoran kids who dare to do this all think he must be the most idiotic Cardassian to ever have left Cardassia since they’ve all “sold” him the same information fifteen times already.
Julian does bring him plushies, largely from younger patients. They have an understanding that Julian brings the toys, Garak fixes them, and neither of them tell the Bajoran parents what happened. If any credit is given, it’s to Julian, who can truthfully admit to being decent with a needle and thread from having gone through medical school. At some point, Odo catches on and starts leaving the damaged plushies that end up in lost and found on the counter in Garak’s shop, then “discovering” them on his next routine inspection. Any child who notices that their stuffed Krelo bear has been repaired when they pick up the toy at lost and found is told that Odo “knows someone” who fixes toys and then is told to go about their business. By the time Garak leaves for Cardassia, he knows the plushies, dolls, and favorite blankets of almost every child on the station and some of his stitching can be found on each and every one.
headcanon:
vulcans become convinced that humans are physically incapable of saying vulcan names correctly, so they just Deal With It. until one day someone runs into a human who speaks hebrew and she gets their name right on the first try
“my clan name contains phonemes that humans cannot pronounce, you do not need to-” “what? it’s just s'chn t'gai, right?” “[long pause] …yes. [takes out roster of vulcan crew members] do these next”
she ends up with a group of Deliberately Not Excited vulcans standing around her listening intently to her saying names “spock” “you pronounced that admirably” kirk in the background: “THAT’S HOW I SAY IT” “no it is not, captain”
