Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
narratively I am a fan of romances that don’t ever actually become romances
I don’t mean in an aromantic life partner way, I mean romantic tension that is never resolved or acted upon for whatever reason but by the end it’s clear that both characters experienced the love of their lives without ever acknowledging it as such. but they know. they know.
maybe the unbridgeable gulf between them is culture, or class, or religion, or maybe their chief commitment is to something other than each other. maybe they decide it’s more important to keep the peace than to risk the complications of a relationship. maybe they’re just weary of change and content with things the way they are because it’s simpler that way. for whatever reason nothing is ever consummated between them, emotionally or physically.
Pretty sure it’s standard to imagine Julian as a very lax parent and Garak as strict as the state, but I think it’d be the other way round.
Because Julian absolutely reads every possible parenting book he can find, has All The Research, freaks himself out about early childhood diseases and injuries and is altogether so Intense™ about everything he needs to be physically removed from an argument about safety and forcibly calmed down.
Garak, on the other hand? Garak’s child comes home from school after a meeting with the head teacher, eyes to the ground, and gets a quiet lecture about how not to get caught next time.
Ppl say that after our man bashir is when garak and julian drifted apart and ye kinda?
But those guys are also kinda forgetting in purgatorys shadow and by infernos light, bc garak brought julian along to witness him 1) revealing that tain is his father 2) also witnessing tains death when its taboo to have non-cardassians view such a thing.
But then immediately after they get back, julian is outed as an augment. And i believe THAT (at least narratively) is when they drifted apart and tbfh i think it was julian who pulled away. How can you admit to someone that you’ve trusted against all odds that you were essentially lying to him this entire time.
And I think garak knew something was up beforehand, probably ever since they started hanging out, but respected julian enough to not dig into his past.
I think julian pulled himself away because he was ashamed? Feeling guilty? That he never let garak know the “true” him all these years.
And I keep fucking saying this, but /julian was never as vulnerable with garak as garak was around julian/. Not on the same level anyways. I don’t think julian knew how to be as revealingly vulnerable around him.
Summary: Julian finds out something new about Cardassians, and Garak is only too happy to reap the benefits. Not that either of them are complaining… Lots more sex. That’s the benefits. This is just a shameless smutty one shot inspired by Chapter Ten of ‘Interpersonal Studies’ by DictionaryWrites.
i think another good, wholesome permutation of garak/bashir is the one where they both clearly openly want to fuck each other and all of the weird conversations they have about “playing games” and “eating too fast” and “have you tried the cream pie mr garak its exquisite” that sound weirdly euphemistic actually are about sex and intimacy, but they both know that any sort of relationship upgrade would be completely devastating to both of their world-views and value systems, and also a political nightmare, so they’re putting it off indefinitely. it’s neurotic cross-morality courtly love. gay chicken in the time of widespread imperial decay. resigned to the erotic limbo of talking to your brunch buddy with your face awkwardly close to his face forever
Poor Julian, he definitely sounds worse for wear! I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten sick after more than a year of pushing himself that hard in a place not well-suited to humans. To say nothing of what’s going on mentally/emotionally. (Your descriptions are very rich and compelling, and I am Worried about silver-haired, dark circles stamped in his face, underweight Julian.)
Oh he’s absolutely being held together solely by his augmentations at this point. Is he doing okay? No. Is he fine? Sure, by the dictionary definition of the word. Does he need help? Oh absolutely. Nine out of ten trauma-informed mental health specialists would agree.
I think during one of Garak’s winter visits, there’s a walloping great blizzard that stirs up over the Bay and Julian protests that he needs to remain on shift, needs to remain on call, they need him and his boss is just like. Hey champ. I really like you, you know, alive. And I’ve had to accept that you live in your office and I can’t actually make you take a day off, but he can. And he has a hotel room in town. And we have more relief workers than we know what to do with right now, and they’re here to relieve you. So maybe go catch the last ride to the hotel, get some snacks, and hunker down for the storm. Ride it out with your scary high-ranking “”“"friend”“”“ while Garak is nodding vigorously and deciding if he wants to ask the hospital administrator for a sedative or mild paralytic so he can just truss Julian up on his shoulders and just commit a light kidnapping.
In the end, Julian grumbles but comes willingly. Not before checking each and every one of his patients, something Garak knows he should find irritating but can’t help but find all too endearing.
He ends up in Garak’s hotel room for four days, napping in between rounds of sex and catches up on his TBR list when Garak takes important video calls/meetings of the government with his camera off in a fluffy bathrobe.
when shows put in purposeful gay rep its always the most forced two bros havin beers but accidental gay rep is like “my dear doctor, theyre all true. especially the lies” “they left me to live with nothing to look forward to but having lunch with you” “theres hope for you yet doctor”
