Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.

naamahdarling:

leafmoldandearth:

glampersand:

claidilady:

claidilady:

okay but what if angels are black holes and halos are just the light warping around them being pulled in by gravity 

  1. paronomaniac said: Then receiving a visit from one is extra terrifying.
  2. pugletto said: oooh… story fodder
  3. elaienar said: That’s terrifying and I approve 100%.

WELL HERE IS THE THING, RIGHT? black holes you basically literally have to be in their gravity like pretty much on top of them to be sucked in. so that’s not really an issue. it’s TERRIFYING sure, but explains a few things which I will list:

  • my astronomy teacher said if you were somehow able to survive entering a black hole and reached the bottom or singularity, the way time works is that you would be able to see the entire universe laid out - like you’d know when the universe ended if you looked back outwards
  • which falls into line with the idea that the angels know all of time and everything except when it will all end precisely (or scientifically, the collapse of this universe is unknown, but supposing angels were black holes they would see until this unknown point)
  • matter falling into a black hole creates a disc of light which is probably among the literal BRIGHTEST things in the universe 
  • there are angels which are supposed to be the wheels of God’s Chariot, so it would make sense if, according to theories, that there ARE massive blackholes at the center of all galaxies which is what cause them to rotate, and those black holes are angels which make the galaxy spin. 
  • black holes were formed sometime after the big bang, which lines into the story of creation, that the angels came after the universe. 
  • angels can choose to physically manifest like humans, but aren’t actually. it’s said that you cannot survive looking at them or hearing them directly. NASA says that the “note” a black hole emits is the deepest sound found in the universe. i am just guessing here but you would probably die if you heard it up close instead of a bazillion light years away. ALSO side note cool fact apparently that “note”: “…It’s worth pointing out that the “sound” in question is 57 octaves (and one semitone) below middle C, which makes it 247×2−57≈1.71×10−15Hz, or one whole cycle every 18.5 million years.” CRAZY RIGHT although apparently some sing other notes and basically if there’s anything people know about angels it is that they DEFINITELY SING. anyways you can’t see black holes but you can see the things around them and the soundwaves surrounding them. 
  • also apparently scientists picked up a death “scream” of a star falling into a black hole but like…
  • anyways literally every angel is terrifying BE NOT AFRAID “haha okay but i’m crying though is that cool” 
  • black holes are probably angels. i’m just saying. 

this is exactly the kind of weird christian gnostic-empiricist apologia i like to see on my dash

!!!!

Merry Christmas! Let the black holes sing!

This is the coolest thing I have ever read.

torisoulphoenix:

whitehouse:

“Merry Christmas everybody!…Celebrating the holidays in the White House over these past eight years has been a true privilege. We’ve been able to welcome over half a million guests, our outstanding pastry chefs have baked 200,000 holiday cookies, and Barack has treated the American people to countless dad jokes. Although a few got a Frosty reception.” —President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama celebrating their final holiday season at the White House. Join them in supporting America’s service members at JoiningForces.gov.

He called her his best friend!!!!!!! All the feels!!!!!

I don’t want them to go!!!!!!! :( :( :(

Avatar
counterpunches: I would like to hear the story of how you slept under the christmas tree
Avatar
theseerasures:

so i immigrated to the US at age 9, right, and one of the first things my family did was join the local Chinese church. as far as the whole “figuring out how to do things so we no longer have to live in the back shed of Uncle Joe’s* Magic Emporium” thing goes, it’s a pretty sound strategy! now we had people to teach my dad how to drive and give us old furniture and say “hey, Seattle is pretty rainy maybe you should rent an apartment-like space before either a) the shed roof caves in b) your daughter with the famously delicate constitution falls dramatically ill from a strain of black mold or possibly herpes”

*is not my uncle, that’s what his store was called. he sold magic gadgets and my dad knew him because???? possibly in a past life they ran a meth empire in Albuquerque, who knows

ANYWAY. thanks to the church i did not fall dramatically ill from black mold or possibly herpes, but there was an unforeseen factor in joining a Christian church, which was that they? were pretty hardcore? about Jesus?**

**in a nice “we build houses for the homeless” way, not in…the other way

given that we’d just immigrated and that China’s religious policy is worshiping Mao’s preserved corpse ehhhhh…let’s call it “freedom of atheism,” my family was decidedly not hardcore about Jesus. my parents mostly took the bemused “i guess Jesus is okay since he indirectly led to us living in a place suited for human habitation” route, but i

was

DISGUSTED.

i was the first kid in my class to get her red scarf, okay, and when we sang the national anthem and saluted the flag every morning i fucking meant what i was singing. we almost didn’t come to America; my dad had more lucrative job offers in Germany and Belgium, but i put my foot down because everyone knows Europe is full of gross imperialists Dad, GOSH, and the Americans helped us fight off the Japanese.

so seeing all these fellow Chinese believing in THE CAPITALIST GOD was basically the worst thing to ever happen to my delicate psyche. my parents’ tacit approval was even worse: DID PATRIOTISM AND COMMUNISM MEAN NOTHING TO THEM? DIDN’T THEY KNOW THAT DOING NOTHING AGAINST OPPRESSION MADE THEM OPPRESSORS THEMSELVES??

clearly something needed to be done.

so because the church was pretty hardcore about Jesus, it was understandably also hardcore about Christmas. big party, massive intricately decorated REAL TREE, sleepover for the kids with presents in the morning—you name it. everyone was going to be there.

WHAT A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE TO EVERYONE HOW WRONG THEY ARE ABOUT JESUS.

my plan:

  1. sleep UNDER the giant real Christmas tree: y’know, the one with real pointy needles reaching all the way down to the base? that sheds? with lots of pokey tinsel?
  2. catch Jesus in the act of depositing presents***: look. i’d seen like, ALL of Scooby Doo by this point. i knew Jesus was probably a real person, just not the Son of God.
  3. subdue Jesus so he’s still around when everyone else wakes up: CLEARLY VERY FEASIBLE, given that Jesus was a heavyset white dude who used superhuman agility and strength to deliver presents around the world overnight and possibly had reindeer minions and i weighed 70 pounds at most while sopping wet.
  4. (who is Santa Claus?? who cares)
  5. ????
  6. EVERYONE MAGICALLY BECOMES AN ATHEIST AGAIN, AMERICA BECOMES A COMMUNIST STATE

***even if i didn’t believe in him, why was i slavishly devoted stopping a highly altruistic man who gave? people? presents? did i hate joy????

sure enough, at around 3 in the morning i heard soft boots approaching the tree. i reached out and snatched one of the Ankles of Jesus

—whereupon Youth Pastor Liao screamed “OH MY LORD” and kicked me in the face.

and THAT, dear friends, is how i spent my first Christmas in America with a concussion.

pilgrimkitty:

waffleguppies:

I think this is the greatest Christmas story ever told

This is the most beautiful story I’ve ever read.