Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
cottagecore vegans buying chickens bc tiktok told them chickens are cute and fluffee, then watching said chickens fucking obliterate any small mammal they see, and then getting upset about it has to be, hands down, some of the funniest shit in the world
besties, you bought fat velociraptors. and you’re going to have to come to terms with that
People always think chickens are cute and harmless until they see them attack as someone from a rural town you don’t fuck with chickens
Just because one of your chicken eggs hatched a fire breathing dragon people think you’re evil. But you’re still just a regular farmer trying to make a living while dealing with an overprotective dragon, heroes that want to kill you and fanatics who want to worship you as the new Demon Lord.
The thing you need to know about all of this, the thing that
got me into all this trouble in the first place, is that chickens will sit on anything when they get broody enough.
Anything. Duck eggs, goose eggs, turkey eggs, lizard eggs, egg shaped rocks,
anything. Chickens aren’t smart. If it looks vaguely like an egg, they’ll plant
their feathery arses on it and wait.
I noticed that there was a bigger egg under one of the broody
chickens, when I checked. Of course I noticed, it was twice the size of the
others. But I have geese. I figured it was a goose egg she’d found and stolen. It
was about the right size, and I didn’t take it out to check the colour because
that particular chicken gets very protective of her eggs. I’ve already got a
scar on one hand from trying to get eggs away from her. I didn’t want a matched
set.
That was a decision I regretted the moment I went out to
feed the chickens and found a little blue-and-silver dragonet’s head poking out
from under a very confused-looking chicken. The poor thing kept shifting around
and looking under herself in a bewildered way, like she didn’t know what to do
next. This particular chicken is a good mother, and she’s raised clutches of
ducks and geese without any trouble – she’s even resigned to some of her
children swimming – but this was too much. She didn’t object when I carefully
reached in and fished out the little dragon.
It was so tiny, then. It fitted in my hand, with its little
head peeking out one side and its tail looping around my wrist. Cute, too, with
its big eyes and little snout turned up towards me.
That was when I made my second mistake. I decided to feed it
before releasing it. Dragons are innately wild creatures, everyone knows that.
They can’t be tamed. People have tried. The eggs are abandoned as soon as they
are laid, and the dragonets hatch able to hunt, so they don’t even bond with
their mothers. So just feeding it a little shouldn’t have been a big deal. It
should have gobbled the meat and fled as soon as I loosened my grip on it and
it saw the open sky.
It didn’t. As soon as I’d fed it, it fluttered up to a sunny
window ledge and went to sleep. I went about my work, figuring that it’d leave
in its own time.
By noon, it was sitting on my boot, squeaking pathetically. I
wondered if maybe it was confused by the farmyard – they usually hatch in
mountains, if the stories are right – so I took it back to the farmhouse with
me and fed it again when I ate, then took some time away from the fences I
should have been mending to walk it up to the hills. I found it some nice
rocks, with plenty of lizards and beetles and suitable prey for something that
size. It pounced on a beetle almost as soon as I put it down, and when I left
it was crunching happily.
I hadn’t walked a quarter of the way back before something
hit the back of my boot. The little dragon was holding on with all four claws,
and when I looked down it squeaked pathetically. If possible, its eyes got even
rounder.
Listen, you don’t make it as a farmer if you just let orphaned
baby animals die. We hand-raise calves and lambs and ponies, set chickens to
sit on abandoned eggs, or put them under the kitchen stove or by a fireplace.
You don’t make a success of farming if you don’t value every animal. A good
shepherd will spend all night looking for one lost sheep. So despite what was
said later, it wasn’t just sentiment that made me sigh and pick up the little
thing and carry it back to the farm. I
am a good farmer. I don’t let orphaned babies die just because they’re a little
work.
technically yes, but it’s definitely not the “egg” you’re thinking of!
see, what we call the chicken “egg” is really a type of very large extracellular structure: it’s a wonder of engineering built BY cells, but it is not, in and of itself, a living thing.
no bird children were harmed in the production of this image.
however, if we zoom in on a fertilized egg a little bit….
see that weird little spot? that’s the REAL chicken egg!
this spot, called the “germinal disk”, IS actually made up of cells. it starts life as a single fertilized gamete cell, just like the one that made you!
at least no one ever called you a “germinal disk” before you had arms to slap them with.
this cell will use the energy stored in the egg structure to grow and divide and grow and divide until it forms a recognizable shape:
and WHAMMO.
so no, chicken eggs are NOT a single cell! but they do HOST the single cell that, given time and warmth, will eventually grow into a baby chicken.
My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.
every time we serve chicken at work i think of this post
1. If you were wondering, you can type the numbers in the works cited into google and they appear to be medical journal articles about using medical imaging to detect and diagnose a rare form of Gastritis.
2. Please enjoy the offical powerpoint presentation of this paper at an academic conference by the original author, complete with Q&A:
THIS IS GOLD
oh m god please watch the video it’s some of the most contagious laughter on the planet
When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made
I HAVE NOT SEEN THE CHICKEN VIDEO IN TEN DAMN YEARS HOLY SHIT
STILL FUNNY
The bell
The last question
The woman howling in laughter 90% of the time
It’s all beautiful
It’s all
So beautiful
I love that he was absolutely 100% prepared for a question in chickenese.
I have read (and see) something about Hades and Persephone having chickens in the underworld, but this is really a fact or is something invent?
Chickens were indeed sacred to Hades and Persephone and an example of this are the terracotta votive tablets from Locri -the ones of the pictures-. There are some books about this subject like Iconography of Religions by Bianchi or Locrian Maidens by Redfield.
The cock/chicken “became the chthonic bird, and was used on tombs, as emblematic of the hope of a reawakening to life”. (Peters) and it is also refered as “an infernal animal of passage” by Bernabe in his book Instructions for the Netherworld: the orphic gold tablets.He also says: ”Cocks allude to the world of the afterlife: as intermediaries between the soul and the Beyond, they intercede between the world of the dead and that of the living”.
Remember Persephone was the goddess of renewal, so at least in Locri, the cock was an usual attribute of her. And in other cultures cocks-chickens were seen as animals related to renewal and life (eggs have that symbolism tooo).
:D so. chickens for Hades and Persephone all the way.
Penciling is a pattern of two to four black lines following the contour of the feathers on either a gold or silver (white) base. The dark brahma variety is silver penciled. In most breeds, gold penciled is called partridge. Adding blue or lavender dilution genes dilutes the black to a shade of grey. Dilution of gold in addition to the lavender gene results in a color commonly referred to as Isabel/Isabella