The Massive Continuity of Ducks

starwrought:

libertineangel:
mirach:
unnamedelement:
starwrought:
I just love so much that one of the first things we see Aragorn do is have a ptsd flashback, with a panic attack during their initial meeting in Bree
‘You can do as you like about my reward: take me as a guide or not. But I may say that I know all the lands between the Shire and Misty Mountains, for I have wandered the over them for many years. I am older than I look. I might prove useful. You will have to leave the open road after tonight; for the horsemen will watch it night and day. You may escape from Bree, and be allowed to go forward while the Sun is up; but you won’t go far. They will come on you in the wild, in some dark place where there is no help. Do you wish them to find you? They are terrible!’
The hobbits looked at him, and saw with surprise that his face was drawn as if in pain, and his hands clenched the arms of his chair. The room was very quiet and still, and the light seemed to have grown dim. For a while he sat with unseeing eyes as if walking in distant memory or listening to sounds in the Night far away.
‘There!’ he he cried after a moment, drawing his hand across his brow. ‘Perhaps I know more about these pursuers than you do. You fear them, but you do not fear them enough, yet.’
which is like, he is having a flashback so bad that he is feeling the pain again, he grips the chair tightly to ground himself/it’s a reaction to the adrenaline, and then disassociates hard enough that the hobbits/onlookers can see that he’s not seeing them/isn’t mentally there. he breaks himself out of it, but at that point has panicked hard enough that he has to wipe (presumably sweat off of) his brow.
and, like, yes this is what a panic attack can look like to onlookers because it is often very tight/restrained/drawn inward and while you feel like your heart is racing so fast you might die you might look like you’re just gripping your chair/yourself/the wall/your bag and your eyes are distant
and for that to happen in the second chapter of meeting Aragorn means so much to me because here is a tall, strong man with years of experience, one of the best fighters in Middle-earth, and he’s having a panic attack as one of his introductory actions
and it’s like so nice to read that after today when I had a panic attack bad enough that I had to take medication so strong that my friends go oh hmm be careful with that because no one seems to understand what is happening inside of me because it looks like that outside. I’m clinging to my own arms and staring at the wall but it feels like I’m dying again
it just means so much to me. like look at Aragorn he’s so brave and strong, right? he has ptsd flashbacks and panic attacks, and he’s still brave and strong. because breaking down doesn’t make you weak
Okay, so this would be the kind of opportunity in which me pulling on my “trauma researcher” hat and going on and on about how amazing this is using scientific texts would actually be really interesting to other fans and not just me BUT instead… I’m exhausted and my brain is dead-tired, and so all I can do is add a screenshot of what I already screamed in the comments because @starwrought blew my damn mind and, especially after a recent comment on one of my fics, I just feel SO VALIDATED that this is in the source material
There is some trauma in Moria as well:
‘I too once passed the Dimrill Gate,’ said Aragorn quietly; ‘but though I also came out again, the memory is very evil. I do not wish to enter Moria a second time.’
Tolkien was in the trenches in WW1, he knows full well that the brave experienced soldiers would have more than their share of evil memories to contend with on dark nights, I think this goes hand in hand with the central point of the book, that heroism comes not from battle or some grand victory but from quietly determined compassion and just doing what must be done because someone has to.
this is really well put and exactly why ‘well Aragorn (or any of the other heroes/soldiers) were brave and strong and therefore never had any weakness, never were deeply hurt by the sacrifices they made to protect others,’ and ‘Frodo was weak and failed because he was too deeply hurt to destroy the Ring and continue life in Middle-earth’ are such hurtful sentiments.
Because the strength of the world does come from continuing to do what is right, even if it feels like that will lead nowhere or is hopeless.
Frodo does all that he was able to, physically as well as mentally, and he couldn’t save the world alone because no one can
Every story of every hero comes back to love and that love being enough to keep going, even if it seems hopeless
No one makes it out of any of the battles completely unscarred, either physically or mentally, and it is realistic in a way that hurts because of how human it is. How the heroes aren’t brave because they never cry, never weep openly, never despair, never curse their fate, never say I wish this hadn’t happened to me, never break down, never face fears, never are defeated, but because they keep going for the love of the world, for the love of their friends. All of it is for love
And yes I think Tolkien’s experience in World War I really shaped that perspective because he saw people break down, because he lost all h is friends, because he didn’t write that bravery is never screaming out in pain because bravery can be breaking down and then needing someone else to help put you back together
Bravery can be continuing to live even if you know you’ll never be fully healed
And I don’t see that enough in literature, in movies, in shows. The definition of bravery keeps circling back to ‘and they were beaten and tortured but they never broke, never cried out, never sobbed’ and ‘then his wife died and he shed a single tear before he went to inflict violence in a Strong Manly Brave Way’
So when you read something else where the pain is too much to bear sometimes for even the bravest of the heroes and where you don’t have to do everything alone because there are people around the world doing what good must be done no matter how small it might be, it stays with you forever