Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
last night i accidentally bought the funniest piece of furniture i’ve ever owned. i didn’t post about it right away because i was slightly upset about the whole situation but i’ve slept on it and decided that it’s hilarious actually
oh lmao i forgot to follow up on this
so if you weren’t aware, lately i’ve been buying and reselling used stuff for fun and profit, mostly furniture. i’m still experimenting, but based on my experiences so far, the real money in my local market is in dressers. people here fucking love dressers. they’re easy to sell and have good profit margins. what’s not to love
one of my best flips so far was a 5 drawer wooden dresser that i bought for twenty dollars and sold for a hundred a couple days later. so when i saw this dresser posted on Facebook Marketplace “eight minutes ago,” i was so fucking hyped
(they took the listing with the real photos down so now this is all I’ve got lol)
i end up going back and forth with the owner about the logistics of picking it up and haggling and all. she mentions a lot of people are interested if i don’t pick it up, so i’m anxious to get to it before someone else does. and so i forget to ask a couple of apparently crucial questions
we work it out eventually, and she wants to do a contactless exchange, which is no problem. it’s all honor system – she leaves it on her porch, i leave the money in her mailbox, and we never have to make awkward small talk while i try and haul a dresser out to my car. it’s very fine by me
so i get there and there’s something clearly not quite right. but i feel bad ghosting her after all the trouble, so i panic and shove my $25 into the mailbox and walk away with. fucking. this
(Noodle for scale.)
this thing is the exact shape and dimensions of a normal five drawer dresser, but it’s less than three feet tall and only a foot deep. it’s like a real dresser got shrink-rayed. like a regular dresser had a child.
it’s too big to be doll furniture, but too small for any kind of meaningful clothes storage. she really just let me buy this, the baby dresser god abandoned, without warning me how big it was. or wasn’t, as the case may be
in my bewildered panic, i also forgot to check to see if the drawers worked. and they do! but also. they scream when you open them
for half the night i was kicking myself for not just walking away, and then i couldn’t fall asleep, and around 2 in the morning i realized that this thing is so fucking funny to me that i can’t let it go.
and it turns out that useless bottom drawer is exactly the right size for pint-sized containers of paint and finish and stain, and i have so much sandpaper and so many paint brushes and face masks and paint stirrers to go in the other drawers
which admittedly still scream at me
but also i fucking love this thing and it’s staying with me forever
i think the wood grain on this is genuinely pretty and the existing finish is pretty scratched in some places, so i have ambitions of staining the frame of the dresser in this color
and then some shade of pink for the drawers
probably the middle one
i have enough projects atm so it’s going to be on the back burner but i have Goals
finally Noodle qualifies as a working dog
“on the back burner,” i said, lying to myself,
if you have exactly five pairs of pants i have the storage solution for you!
wish i could transmit tactile information over the internet because this shark is now fully sanded and smooth as hell
not convinced that this is the shade of teal i was going for but i guess there’s only one way to find out
I TAKE IT BACK THIS SHIT FUCKING SLAPS
HELLO
this is very much not the effect I intended to get and technically it results from not using the stain correctly but it’s so fucking pretty that i Will be doing nothing to fix it
no longer 100% certain about this color scheme but. hello lads
@the-sober-folly thank you!!!! it’s Minwax’s Oasis Blue wood stain! the strangely red-looking pink is the same brand, but Blossom Pink 😊 i love the blue and i have so much left over, which i’m really excited about!
no drawer pulls because i’m too lazy to put them back on for photos just to have to take them off again but she’s looking kind of nice!! not sure that i’m keeping the drawers like this though 🤔
(Boogaloo for scale.)
i’ve decided to sand down and redo the drawers so i can try and enter a competition. but for posterity’s sake: this shit was fucking cute
for anyone who’s curious, this is the current state of the baby dresser.
i fucked up two of the drawers and therefore blew the deadline for the contest and i’m too annoyed to fix them just yet. so i need to redo those and topcoat everything before it’s actually finished.
