Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
i could care less abt ppl’s personal surgery prefrences but if you go out of your way to shame surgeries that aren’t cis passing (choosing to remove nipples/thick scars/doing some bottom surgery procedures but not all/ choosing to not get laser hair removal/non cis passing bottom surgery in general… etc) you have some internalized shit to deal with idc if you dont want phalloplasty but when you start calling it botched looking and complaining abt how theres no point in getting a zero depth vaginoplasty i think you should kinda at least think about how bodyshaming other people is bad as a concept if you’re not going to delve into why you deem those body parts unattractive in the first place
Like seriously I wish we had a more comprehensive sex education program in the U.S. You know how many guys I know who had no idea an unaroused vagina is only 2-3 inches deep? Or that the cervix raises up when aroused to accommodate dick? Or that if a girl is “tight” that generally means she’s not turned on and you’re shitty in bed? Or that the cervix has an entire cycle it goes through throughout the month where is changes hardness, placement in the vagina, wetness? Like, when you’re ovulating your cervix gets soft and raises high up into the vagina and your hormones get you really horny. It’s like natures way of moving the furniture around and fluffing the pillow for dick because it wants to get pregnant. And before menstruation, it gets really hard and low in the vagina. It’s basically inactivating it’s Facebook and saying “I just need some alone time for a few days”
Ladies and gentlemen, take a moment to learn about vaginas. Men, take an interest into your woman’s menstrual cycle!
U.S. Needs better sex Ed because I’m a 23 year old woman and didn’t even know all of this
Hi I had no idea about the cervical cycle.
God bless this post pls share it far & wide
Anonymous: Calm down, it isn't that big of a deal that people don't know women don't pee out of their vag, sheesh.
“6 Insane Sex Myths People Used to Teach as Facts”
including things like how westerners apparently thought that Chinese women who immigrated had sideways vaginas and that doctors attributed any number of problems to the fact that they believed women’s uteri could detach themselves when the woman was not pregnant and scamper around the woman’s innards like some sort of wayward jellyfish blob.
Hilarious, right? Can’t believe people used to think that! Oh, how naive they all were!
Which brings us to women-pee-out-of-their-vagina.
People back then kind of have an excuse for stupid notions, because a lot of the time there wasn’t the technology or research or scientific community to call them out on it in order to spread information that was actually factual.
We do not have that excuse today.
Yes, I heard that, greyface in sunglasses in the second row.
“well we don’t teach ridiculous stuff like that!”
Spoiler Alert: We totally do.
Stuff like the complete erasure of parts of female anatomy, publicly taught and widespread misinformation about others and the fact that I learned more about my own body with 15 minutes on Wikipedia than I did in two mandatory Health classes and a Medical Anatomy class.
Send your arguments at me, believe me, they don’t hold water.
“The clitoris doesn’t have anything to do with reproduction!”
Sex Ed covers more than just reproduction. Every time they sent me home with a little paper for your parent/guardian to sign, they said they would be talking about anatomy as well as reproduction.
“Well, female anatomy is a lot more complicated…”
Doesn’t that mean they should spend more time covering it rather than skipping over the parts they deem ‘unnecessary’? Even in my Medical Anatomy class when we had the diagrams to label, despite there being a clitoris in the diagram, there wasn’t a lil line to write down what it was.
“Maybe they didn’t think it was appropriate to talk about for high school.”
Female pleasure.
So lewd.
How dare they.
Get the pitchforks and burn the witch.
“They don’t talk about male pleasure either!”
Bitch, please.
I heard aaaaalll about what happens when a dude is aroused and orgasms with the erections and ejaculations and all that nonsense.
Girl orgasms are apparently not a thing. And, depending on the class, neither was female arousal.
(Which I find decidedly disturbing, as a side note.)
“Female orgasms aren’t a part of reproduction either.”
Maybe not.
BUT IT IS A SIMPLE PHYSICAL REACTION THAT SHOULD BE TAUGHT IF ONLY FOR SCIENTIFIC AND MEDICAL ACCURACY.
“Fine. The clitoris is controversial. That hardly covers the entire spectrum of female sexuality having misinformation and crap.”
Apparently you didn’t read the part up above about how I did not learn what happens when a woman is aroused or orgasms in three years of classes that are supposed to teach me about this thing.
“If it took you 15 minutes on Wikipedia to figure stuff out, why are you so mad? That’s hardly a waste of time.”
Because I deserve to know about my own body, and when schools teach Sex Ed in any form, they are taking on the responsibility of teaching me that.
And yet, I learned absolutely nothing useful.
That’s a problem.
“Okay, okay. They don’t talk about female sexual reactions, and that’s kinda sexist.”
You know what else is kinda sexist? Telling men that sex is great and women that it’s going to hurt and suck and also you’ll get pregnant and die.
What am I talking about, you say?
The hymen. You know, the thing that covers a woman’s vaginal opening and breaks and there’s blood and that’s how you can tell if your girlfriend is lying about whether or not you’re her first.
Well guess what, buddy-boy, you dumped that girl for no reason because that’s not actually what a hymen is and you’re also a jerk.
The hymen is a flexible membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening (usually in a sort of crescent shape when they are but a wee lass) and did you notice the word up there? ‘Flexible’? Do you know what that means? It means that if a woman is sufficiently aroused, it prolly ain’t gonna break. (wow do you think this myth has anything to do with the lack of knowledge we’re taught about female arousal???)
I mean dude you can shove a baby outta that thing and it returns to its original shape, you can’t tell if a woman is a virgin or not by the state of her hymen anyways. They can tear during exercise n stuff as well but there is literally not much of a reason why sex should be painful for girls and why you call it “popping the cherry”
OH WAIT MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE DUDES LIKE TO THINK THAT THEIR DICK HAS MAGICAL POWERS THAT FOREVER CHANGES A WOMAN’S LIFE AND SHE’S NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER YOU WRECKED THAT TIGHT LIL HOLE.
Well, fun fact, if she’s tight that means you kind of suck balls at the whole sex thing.
This isn’t just a matter of some people making a mistake about how women urinate. This is part of a long history of the suppression of female sexuality to the point that when you get a damn diagram of the vulva, apparently they don’t mark where the urethra is because man we don’t want to spend too much time talking about ladyparts frick who knows what’s hiding down there…
In my own 7th grade health class, and even in goddam 11th and 12th grade highschool biology, they left out female pleasure to such an extent as a thing, that I thought orgasm and penile ejaculation were synonymous. That orgasm was only a penis-owning thing; that orgasm was when those with penises spewed sperm, not that it was a pleasurable climax, not that it was its own thing, not that people with vaginas could experience them.
You want to know how we were told about the clitoris? Through less than two sentences in seventh grade health class. “This is the clitoris: it’s like a button and and can get harder”. That’s it. That’s it.
Can we talk about how dangerous this is, actually?
Yes. I said dangerous. Not because I’m a girl and I would like sex to be enjoyable thank you, but because we’re teaching women that a men have a right to have sex be enjoyable where we do not.
We’re teaching women that if she is uncomfortable or in pain, that is normal and she has no right to complain.
We’re teaching women to do something because it makes a man happy, regardless of how she feels.
We’re teaching women to be the submissive, receptive partner rather than an active participant.
I didn’t learn about a woman’s arousal or a woman’s orgasm simply because apparently that isn’t important.
It doesn’t matter if a woman is enjoying it.
It doesn’t matter if she likes what you’re doing.
We teach these things in a public setting, and we wonder why youth are legitimately confused about what constitutes rape, and why it is a bad thing that has a profoundly negative and possibly permanent effect on the victim.
I’m a 43 year old cis woman, and I actually learned something I didn’t know about my own anatomy from this post.
THAT IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.
Sex is not about female pleasure. Females do not need to be pleasured in order to reproduce. Sex is for reproduction. A man experiencing pleasure is essential to reproduction because, without it, he will not ejaculate, thereby getting the woman pregnant so she can experience the highest form of womanhood: motherhood. Sex is supposed to hurt, at least the first time because of the sins of Eve. Women continue to pay for the sin of Eve through the pain of menstruation, the pain of giving birth, and through sex. But motherhood is a blessed state and therefore she should tolerate for the sake of bringing another life into the world which is the most beautiful and meaningful thing a woman can do with her life and her body.
Basically, men have been shit at sex since the dawn of time. And instead of focusing in any way on female pleasure, they have made up ridiculous myths about original sin, cherry popping and how virgins are far better than not-virgins.
The best way to keep a woman from knowing that female pleasure exists, much less desiring it, is to keep her from knowing her own body. If you are going to keep her from knowing her own body, and make it a mystery to her (I was told ‘you’ll find out about that on your wedding night’) and a woman demands nothing, than a man has absolutely no incentive to learn about female pleasure. Learning about female pleasure implies learning about female anatomy. Why the hell SHOULD a man (or woman) not know they don’t pee out of their vagina? Hell, most men/women don’t even know that the vagina is NOT the entire sex organ. That the outter lips, etc are NOT the vagina.
It’s HELLA importanntn to know you don’t piss out of your vagina so you can tell the difference between a yeast infection and a urinary tract infection. Which I didn’t find out about until my mid-twenties due to lack of even properly labeled anatomical drawings. Did you know you got three holes there? SURPRISE you have three holes. One of them is your urethra. When THAT shit is burning that is a urinary tract infection. When your vaginal hole is burning, then it is a yeast infection. If you want to rip your labia off due to excessive burning that has come on suddenly, go to the gynecologist, not the PCP.
This isn’t just about female pleasure, though it’d be nice if someone gave a shit about that. Guys sure as hell don’t. This is about actual medical issues. I was 25 before I found out that the pain I had on either side of my uterus was big fuckin’ cysts becuase I had never been to the gynecologist before because I was too embarrassed. Seriously. This shit matters.
And it doesn’t just matter to women* and I am tired of guys going eww gross don’t talk about that stuff. You are a big man who wants to wrestle crocodiles in disgusting typhoid-infested swamp water, I think you can deal hearing about whether my period is a low flow, or if it’s running like niagra falls and that’s why I need to lie here in bed and eat chocolate while I moan in agony and can’t fix your dinner tonight.
You need to know that yes, you can have sex during someone’s period, it won’t break anything. It’ll be messy as hell. Maybe it will relieve her cramping. But maybe it will just make her feel gross and she won’t want to. Do something freakish and talk to your woman*.
Wanna be a hero to a woman? Don’t be a piece of shit about picking up feminine products. When she’s feeling like absolute death, and her hormones are different than the other 3 weeks of the month (actually they’re more like a guy’s hormones when she’s on her period, so maybe that’s why she gets “bitchy” and aggressive—she’s acting like YOU, you little turd) . Understand what TYPE of tampon or pad she wannts you to pick up, and grab her some chocolate and something salty. Know that much about a woman’s cravings during her period to get her something to comfort her, and you will be a hero. She willl remember that shit later and if you wash some dishes too, while she’s not feeling well, she will probably blow you later.
When she talks about cysts or her excrutiating period, or a yeast/urinary tract infection, don’t go EWW don’t talk about that. These are actual things she’s worried about. There’re conditions that happen in that plumbing down there that range from annoying to agnoizing, can make sex painful (i mean, assuming you are being proper partner and are being attentive to her arousal and needs) and can lead to infertility. Many women* worry about this stuff. Or suffer from extreme periods. But we’re told no one wants to hear about it, eww yicky, and it’s the price of original sin, so women* don’t talk about how much pain and suffering our nether reigions put us through.
Comparatively, women have an Asten Martin with what should be finely tuned workings under the hoods, and men have tiny scooters with electric motors. ONE thing gets out of whack and suddenly we start functioning like shit, and there’s usually pain involved. A dude* may haveta fucking pedal for once.
oh yeah, and another thing while I am ranting: that shit you see in pornos? MOST women don’t like doing it. That fucking pearl necklace shit? You come near my neck with your dick and i”m going to bite your balls.
If you, as a man*, do not understand female anatomy* and female pleasure zones, YOU are doing it wrong. Women PUT UP with having sex with you. They don’t actually fucking enjoy it. While you’re taking a piss, they’re probably finishing themselves off.
And if YOU as a man, don’t know that if she hasn’t had sex in a while, she needs extra foreplay and her hyman stretched so it doesn’t fucking hurt, then you have failed at life and women only have sex with you out of pity or because THEY don’t know that sex is not supposed to hurt.
So YES, it’s kind of a big fucking deal that no one knows where the hell the pee-hole is. Because it’s endemic of a MUCH larger problem. But what the fuck do you care? you’re getting your rocks off while holding on to boobs instead of a fleshlight.
*not all women have vaginas, not all men have penises, my comments are primarily directed to cis het dudebros ignoring the plumbing and function of those with vaginas. individual milage may vary, tax and title due at signing.
You are a big man who wants to wrestle crocodiles in disgusting typhoid-infested swamp water, I think you can deal hearing about whether my period is a low flow, or if it’s running like niagra falls and that’s why I need to lie here in bed and eat chocolate while I moan in agony and can’t fix your dinner tonight.
As many as three quarters of women can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. In fact, just eight percent of women can reliably orgasm this way, studies estimate.
This might be the only real explanation we need for what is known among sex researchers and sexologists as the “orgasm gap,” the fact that heterosexual men orgasm during sex two to three times as frequently as heterosexual women do.
“Research has identified highly effective sex education and HIV prevention programs that affect multiple behaviors and/or achieve positive health impacts. Behavioral outcomes have included delaying the initiation of sex as well as reducing the frequency of sex, the number of new partners, and the incidence of unprotected sex, and/or increasing the use of condoms and contraception among sexually active participants. Long-term impacts have included lower STI and/or pregnancy rates.” [x]
We need to equip people with knowledge and resources to maintain a healthy and safe lifestyle. By teaching comprehensive sex education we are allowing people to make informed decisions about their health and and personal lives. - Paige
The vagina, is in fact, designed to keep itself clean with the help of natural secretions (discharge). But there are ways you can help maintain the cleanliness of your vagina (i.e. avoiding perfumed soaps and gently washing the vulva area, not the actual vagina.) Click the link for more information.
“A Pap smear, also called a Pap test, is a procedure to test for cervical cancer in people. A Pap smear involves collecting cells from your cervix — the lower, narrow end of your uterus that’s at the top of your vagina.”
“A “vaginal orgasm” is the notion that [people] can have an orgasm through stimulation during intercourse or other vaginal penetration, entirely without clitoral stimulation. However, the vagina has few nerve endings, and therefore cannot create an orgasm on its own. Instead of thinking of the vagina and clitoris as separate entities, try thinking about them as a network of nerves and muscles.”
“There’s some disagreement about the size of the G-spot; it may range from a quarter inch to a couple inches along the upper wall of your vagina, about an inch or two past your vaginal opening. Underneath it is highly sensitive tissue that, when touched the right way, triggers feelings of sexual happiness, explains Debby Herbenick, PhD.”
“Female genital mutilation (FGM) includes procedures that intentionally alter or cause injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons.”
“The procedure has no health benefits for girls and women.”
“Procedures can cause severe bleeding and problems urinating, and later cysts, infections, infertility as well as complications in childbirth and increased risk of newborn deaths.”
“FGM is a violation of the human rights of girls and women.”
“Gently wash the penis with warm water each day when you’re having a shower or bath. If you have a foreskin, pull it back gently and wash underneath.”
“Gently washing your penis once a day with warm water is sufficient to maintain good hygiene. If you want to use soap, choose a mild or non-perfumed soap to reduce the risk of skin irritation.”
“An erection begins in the brain. Physical and/or mental stimulation cause nerves in the brain to send chemical messages to nerves in the penis telling the penile blood vessels to relax so that blood can flow freely into the penis. Once in the penis, high pressure traps the blood within both corpora cavernosa. This causes the penis to expand and sustain an erection.”
“Ejaculation, the release of semen at climax, is triggered when a person reaches a critical level of excitement.”
People define “sex” in different ways. Some people believe that it only counts as sex if a penis goes into a vagina, but this isn’t true for everybody. There are lots of different ideas about what sex can be: Vaginal sex (penis-in-vagina intercourse), Oral sex (mouth-to-genital contact), Anal sex (penis-in-anus intercourse), Dry humping or genital rubbing, Fingering or hand jobs (hand-to-genital contact), and Masturbation.
“Whenever you have sex, you need to make sure that your partner is just as enthusiastic about having sex. In other words, that they give their full consent.” Consent is an enthusiastic, freely-given, uncoerced, sober, “yes”.
Consent is ALWAYS mandatory, whether you’re married, dating or just met.
"While it’s common for [some] to feel pain or discomfort with sex, it’s not “normal” in that it has to happen or there isn’t an alternative. Sex is not supposed to hurt: it’s supposed to feel very good.” [Inside the link above, it does explain what to do to make sure sex is not painful.]
Marginalized Orientation, Gender Identity, and Intersex. It’s a synonym for LGBTQIAP+ and is inclusive for people who don’t have or don’t want labels, rejects allies, and uses no reclaimed slurs.
"Sexual orientation describes to whom a person is sexually attracted. Some people are attracted to people of a particular gender; others are attracted to more than one gender. Some are not attracted to anyone.”
“Affectional orientation is a term that describes to whom a person is romantically attracted, acknowledging that for many people there are more components to attraction than just sexual desire.”
“The ways in which a person identifies and/or expresses their gender, including self-image, appearance, and embodiment of gender roles. One’s sex (e.g., male, female, intersex, etc.) is usually assigned at birth based on one’s physical biology. One’s gender (e.g., man, woman, genderqueer, etc.) is one’s internal sense of self and identity.”
Resources for most Gender Identities. (Resources for understanding gender identity, figuring out yours, how to come out to parents and friends, transitioning resources, local supports, and more!)
"Some people who identify as asexual do not experience sexual attraction to other people, while others experience sexual attraction but no desire to act on these attractions.”
“Asexuality and Celibacy are not the same. Many people who are asexual live a celibate life, meaning that they do not engage in sex with others. But while Celibacy is a choice, asexuality is not.”
“Asexuality is not a dysfunction, and there is no need to find a "cause” or a “cure.”“ [x]
Are all people who identify as asexual sex repulsed? No!
"Transgender – or trans – is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity or expression is different from those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth (e.g., the sex listed on their birth certificate).” [x]
“Transgender may be used to describe someone who was assigned female or male at birth, but later realizes that label doesn’t accurately reflect who they feel they are inside.”
“Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.
“A sexually transmissible infection (STI) is any infection or disease that can be passed from one person to another during sexual activity. Sexually transmissible infections include chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, scabies, pubic lice (crabs), hepatitis and HIV (the virus that causes AIDS).”
To be pregnant is to have an embryo/fetus developing in your uterus. “A pregnancy is considered to be established only after implantation is complete.”
"When engaging in unprotected vaginal intercourse during which ejaculation of sperm occurs in the vagina. The sperm can then travel up through the cervix, into the uterus, and, if an egg is present, the sperm may fertilize it.”
“It is also possible — but less likely — for a person to become pregnant through any kind of sex play in which semen, or ejaculate, comes in contact with the vulva. The sperm can travel through the moisture on the vulva into the vagina.”
Only you can decide what is right for you, definitely take some time to go over your options, but remember, the sooner you decide the more options you’ll have.
“Birth control allows us to prevent pregnancy and plan the timing of pregnancy.”
Birth control is not a “one size fit’s all deal” there are all different kinds of birth control out there from hormonal to non hormonal, methods to medicines, and so on. The best way to figure out which birth control works best for you is by doing research and speaking with your doctor.
****Contraceptives Masterpost**** ^^ Lists many birth control options (and links you to more information about these options), goes over emergency contraceptives and FAQs, birth control FAQs, options for people with allergies or personal preferences, and debunks myths about birth control.
Something just occurred to me. We (almost) always picture mythological winged creatures, like dragons, as quadrupedal, but there aren’t any creatures like that in the world. All animals that I can think of have legs and wings, some with sort of little hands on the ends like pterodactyls, but nothing that has four limbs and wings. I’m not counting gliders such as flying squirrels, because they don’t actually have wings.
So it occurs to me that if dragons did exist, they’d probably look far more like pterodactyls than winged lizards.
EDIT: Of course I forgot about insects! I’m sorry, insects! lol So maybe dragonflies then? :P
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