sciencemyfiction:

velourwitch:

Why is it so hard for adults to understand that if you make a minor uncomfortable, it’s your job to stop what you’re doing that’s making them uncomfortable. Not their job to “get over it”, “don’t look”, “don’t listen”, “ignore it”, etc. Is it ego??? Bc I don’t get it.

Adults: If you are feeling upset that a minor doesn’t want to talk to you / is bothered by something you did, take a step back. You need to back off. You have experience and should be able to recognize when you are making someone uncomfortable. You should not want to make someone uncomfortable. Listen to, pay attention to, be alert to the signs that someone does not want to talk to you or is uncomfortable with talking to you. Even if they can’t clearly explain what’s bothering them, don’t keep pestering them if they are uncomfortable. 

Minors: You are 100% in your rights to tell adults who are bothering you that they are bothering you. You are 100% in your rights to state that you do not want to talk to them, or to avoid them. If they don’t understand what they did or are doing and you are uncomfortable about talking to them about it, it’s 100% ok to have someone else tank the encounter (so to speak) for you and be a buffer between you and the adult who’s harassing you. You don’t owe someone who is making you uncomfortable ANY interaction, not even an acknowledgment that you’re paying attention to what they say or anything like that. You are allowed to stand up for yourself. 

I know this advice isn’t applicable to every situation (I know there are situations where you cannot afford to speak up for yourself without risk), but I want to support the idea that when you can, you should do what is comfortable rather than putting yourself in uncomfortable situations because an adult expects ‘respect’ (ie deference) even after making you uncomfortable.