Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
can we just like romanticise being bare faced?? like really bare faced, not this “no makeup makeup look” shit like pls lets romanticise dark circles and acne and discolouration and redness and skin conditions and eyebags and oily skin and just regular old eyebrows and looking tired because I am tired stop treating these as things that take away from beauty and just celebrate them like jesus pls
tumblr discourse has truly taken away the right to subjective opinions and its exhausting
like now instead of saying “i like this tv show because it is entertaining and engaging” you have to come up with totally ridiculous reasons as to why this random television show on like, the CW or something is Actually the paradigm of feminist media even when it isnt at all
instead of saying “this celebrity is obnoxious and overrated and annoying” you get people searching meticulously through their twitter or interviews in order to find something incriminating enough to end up on a yfip list, and now you can pretend that your reasons for disliking this celebrity arent entirely personal and have some kind of Righteous Cause backing it
you dont need to put politics into everything you love and you dont need to bend over backwards trying to explain why this Thing you love is Actually Totally Political. you are allowed to subjectively enjoy things. conversely you can hate looking at a celebrity’s dumb face without acting like theres always some kind of social justice reason fueling it
a milkshake to summon the boys and a cold one to bind them
me in the middle of a sword fight:
oh fuck hold on there's this.. godawful smudge on the one of my lenses and it's really bothering me. can i like. take care of that. it's so bad. i don't even know how it happened
my opponent, immediately lowering their weapon:
yeah sure of course. glasses, man
me, cleaning mine w/ my shirt:
haha yeah.. can't live w/ 'em
from now on whenever i review media that centered around a straight romance i’m gonna say things like “i hope it isn’t too bold to mention that it seemed to explore themes of heterosexuality - personally, i find it an interesting choice” and “the hetero-eroticism came on a little too strong and deterred from what i think was the intended focus of the film: finding oneself”
Have you ever started to check your tumblr in the middle of getting dressed and half an hour later you’re still standing in your underwear with one sock on and also 15 minutes late.
Oh my fucking god YES! I’ll be messaging you or my other mutuals and next thing i know its 20 min past when i should have taken off for work and I’m only half dressed!
it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
one part of the male gender role I can’t stand is thinking that being irritating and pissing women off is funny???? every man I’ve met thinks that’s hilarious and gets mad when I’m not into it. like why did no one teach them to shut the fuck up
does anyone else go to take a sip of their tea/coffee and then realise you’ve already drank it all and just have a moment where you’re just like: betrayal
