hotsoccergirl1234:

rosswoodpark:

is it really so difficult, so troublesome to put the bread tie back on the bag

My mom made this post

somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds:

we need more old musicals redone but make it with lesbians

can you imagine a lesbian version of the music man? smooth-talking traveling lady salesman in a crisp suit trying to seduce the no-nonsence lady librarian

buckysbears:

buckysbears:

does anyone ever do the opposite of dissociate?? where youre just suddenly and uncomfortably aware of your situation and reality 

more to the point why do i get that feeling when im sitting on top of my kitchen table watching a velveeta mac and cheese pack spin in the microwave for three and a half minutes and im just like I Exist I Am Here And Theres Nothing I Can Do About It 

oceanstrology:

(idk if someone already did this but i’m doing it anyways)

aries:  “you just don’t get it, do you?!”

taurus: “YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!”

gemini: “…did i just say that outloud?”

cancer: “i’m not your little girl anymore!”

leo: “it’s not what it looks like!”

virgo: “okay, here’s what we do…” (cuts to a different scene)

libra: “you two are so cute!” “(laughs awkwardly) oh no, we’re not…that…” “too bad.”

scorpio: “i wouldn’t do that if i were you…”

sagittarius: “(s)he’s behind me, isn’t (s)he.”

capricorn: “we’re not so different, you and i.”

aquarius: “we’ve got company.”

pisces: “DON’T DIE ON ME!”

straightboyfriend:

instead of declawing your cat heres some things you can do instead:
• fuck off
• stop caring more about your furniture than your cat’s wellbeing
• give me your cat instead