trainthief:

Fuck all customers except whoever left us an anonymous store review saying they drive by three other locations to come to ours because they’re bisexual and everyone who works here is hot

shakespearevillain:

In the mood to rib Andrew Robinson a little bit for how he pronounces Bashir’s name.

—

“Do you just call him ‘honeybuns’ all the time or something?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Chief,” Garak said as he looked out the window. Julian had insisted that Miles and his family come visit them on Cardassia. Something about needing to see old friends every once in awhile. Garak had agreed, despite knowing that he and Professor O’Brien rarely saw eye to eye.

“It’s Buh-sheer,” Miles said before taking another sip of coffee. He had set up shop for breakfast at the kitchen table and had decided to savor his coffee rather than explore the Cardassian plant life that Keiko practically bolted out of bed to go see. 

Garak furrowed his brow. “No, it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I think,” Garak said, turning towards Miles. “I would know how to pronounce my own husband’s name.”

“You’d think that, which is why I think you must be callin’ him ‘honeybun’ all the time or somethin’,” Miles said before popping a bit more ikri bun in his mouth.

“It’s Bah-sheer,” Garak said.

“Buh-sheer.”

“Bah-” Garak rolled his eyes and reminded himself that he wasn’t twelve anymore. “I am not going to argue this with you.”

“Yeah, because you know I’m right.”

“Of all the puerile… my dear, how do you say your name?”

Julian, who had just walked in, cast a confused glance between his husband and his best friend. “Julian?”

Both of them groaned. “Your surname,” Garak elaborated.

“Oh. Bashir.”

“Hah!” Miles said, pointing a finger at Garak.

“Just a moment, would you mind saying that again, doctor?” Garak said. “Slowly.”

“Bah-sheer,” he said.

“No! No, no, no, I’ve heard you say it before. It’s Buh-sheer,” Miles said.

“Oh! Well, that’s a result of the vowel shift when you put an Arabic name into a British accent,” Julian said with a nervous smile. He cocked his head to one side and looked up. “In some parts of Earth, it’s Bachir.”

“Bachir? With a ‘ch’?” Miles protested, his ikri bun forgotten on his plate.

“Well, yes, but that’s not how I–”

“Thank you, my dear,” Garak said smugly, walking over to his husband and taking Julian’s hands in his own. 

“Hang on! You didn’t get it right either,” Miles protested.

“I did,” Garak said, casting a scornful glance over his shoulder at Miles.

“Actually,” Julian said with a slight wince, “the emphasis is a bit on the second syllable.”

“I see,” Garak said. He dropped Julian’s hands. “So I’ve been saying your name wrong all this time, and you refused to tell me?”

“Not refused. I thought…” He gestured at Miles. “Well, if humans have a hard time saying it, why would a Cardassian have a better chance?”

“I see,” Garak said coldly. “Well, Dr. Bah-sheer, maybe you’ll consider that we Cardassians have an extraordinary memory and a dedication to thoroughness.”

“Elim…”

“Oh, no, that won’t work, doctor,” Garak said with a shake of his head. He glanced at Miles before pulling himself up to his full height. “We will talk about this once our company has left,” he said before storming out of the room.

Julian turned towards Miles, a stunned expression on his face. “What did you do?!” he protested as soon as Garak left.

“Nothin’!” Miles said. “Just…” He snorted out a laugh. “Welcome to married life.”

tirlaeyn:

You ever wonder if the Kardasi for Obsidian Order means “black rock order” or “volcanic rock order” or maybe just “black order”? Does the UT translate “black” as “obsidian” purely for the alliterative aesthetic? Did. Did the Order somehow program it that way?

#in the prophecy & change anthology there is an explicit allusion to a geologic formation in a remote region of cardassia #made of pure obsidian & it’s of religious significance in hebitian practice as well as being the kind of place #that tests your mettle in a wilderness survival situation #& it’s one of the oldest known ‘mountainous outcrops’ on cardassia #& apparently many of cardassia’s mountains & rockfaces are actually made of volcanic rock #& a traditional obsidian order weapon was fashioned out of them hundreds of years ago #so that’s the beta canon backstory bc i am an insufferable pedant thanks

@chicago-geniza YOUR TAGS!!! Thank you for this info. This is fascinating. I love learning this stuff.

johannestevans:

thinking about julian absolutely scandalising a group of cardassians by coming up to where garak is drinking with them, and when there’s no seat nearby he just sits on the floor and leans back against garak’s legs

acts completely casual about it as they’re all losing their MINDS

(garak included)

aqueerkettleofish:

jakemorph:

i wanna watch spiderverse but do i have to see spidertop and spiderbottom first or does it not matter?

It is not necessary to watch Venom to see Spiderverse, no.