Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.

The “REAL [parent]” trope

airagorncharda:

You know that trope where an adopted person finds out who their biological parent is, and the writer keeps using the term “REAL [parent]”? Yeah, it’s super gross, and I wish it would stop. 

It devalues adopted parents, step parents, legal guardians, and parental figures, and puts all the emphasis on biology, which is a terrible message to give to non-biological parents, AND to their kids. It’s also a terrible message to give people who’s biological parents are terrible parents. It also often perpetuates the narrative that parents somehow own their children, when it’s used in scenarios where a parent gave up or lost custody of their child, and now wants custody back on no other basis than a biological “right” to the child.

The importance and value a parent has in a person (or character’s) life should be determined by the effect they have on their child, not genetics. A biological parent is not more “REAL” than any other type of parent, ESPECIALLY if they’ve been absent for much/most of the child/person’s life, and it’s genuinely awful to perpetuate the harmful narrative that they are. 

vos:

here are some things that will change your tumblr blogging experience imo. this started out much shorter but ive been here since 2011 so i had a lot to say

  • like your friends’ personal posts to the extent you want and can
  • like posts you reblog so you know which ones you reblogged. i have not once had to ask “did i reblog this?” since i started doing this
  • personally i find that tagging things even loosely made it so much easier to use my blog and find things years later – i can find anything i reblogged even four years ago – but that’s just me  🍵
  • if there is a fandom that’s on your dash too much, that annoys you, that you hate fanart of, just blacklist it. unfollow the person who posts it too much. you don’t have to like things other people like. you don’t have to care.
  • asking to tag things isn’t silly, so don’t feel bad. don’t make fun of people for asking to tag things. there are codes that let you put reminders inline in tumblr to tag things for people (in my refs)
  • if you get angry every time you see someone on your dash, unfollow them. if someone keeps starting shit with you, unfollow them. block them. this is the internet.
  • if you hate what’s on your dash, think about the things you want to see and type some words into the search bar and go follow some random aesthetic blogs, or art blogs, or funny humor blogs, or whatever. find some posts that are what you want and go through the notes and look for similar blogs.
    • (for me, i looked up like 2 pastel fashion blogs (they post a lot), a ton of apartment design blogs, a bunch of communist theory tumblr, and a lot of really specific fashion stuff i know when i see. i follow this one slime blog. the things i see now make me happy.)
    • you will have to weed people out later. follow the “block people who make you angry” step above. it’s cool. you’re not hurting anyone’s feelings anymore than they’re hurting yours.
  • i think the biggest thing that’s changed in my view of tumblr is that i’m allowed to disagree with people. i’m very pro-social justice and try to be politically active, but i’m allowed to come to my own conclusions and i don’t have to agree with the discourse on my dashboard all the time. i don’t say this as personal encouragement of anti-sjw rhetoric, or gg, or terfs, or anything like that, just that i think it’s okay to think relax and listen to other people and think critically about what you’re reading. you don’t have to jump onto discourse without knowing what it means or how you feel. i spent a long time saying things other people were saying because i was scared.
  • some other points about tumblr and politics and media:
    • don’t rely on tumblr for news. misinformation gets spread constantly and there’s no way of knowing how old posts are.
    • check your sources. even with mass media, think about who you’re listening to. the daily mail is not the washington post is not snopes.
    • be wary of statistics. they’re easy to manipulate into saying what you want, or making it look like it says what you want.
  • you deserve to have a good time in your leisure blogging activity. make it work for you. don’t put up with stuff that just makes you feel horrible every time you’re online 🍦

edit: this is totally okay to reblog, i think this is worth other ppl seeing+knowing!

songbird-nebula:

ptsdsuggestions:

Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s trauma doesn’t justify them abusing you.

I need this.  I need to remember this.

inkskinned:

right but continued consent is equally important, if not more important. and like? you don’t owe your partner(s) anything? idc what gender you are if you feel uncomfy it’s okay to stop. i know so many people who say yes at first but don’t always want to keep going after a while. it’s okay. you don’t owe your partner. you aren’t being unfair. sex is not a contract you sign once and then can’t get out of. sex is an ongoing agreement that has many stages and tbh you can stop at any of them.