montereybayaquarium:

Not even its spines can pop the adorabubble that is the Japanese porcupine crab Paralomis histrix! 😍🦀 

These gloriously globose and highkey pokey deep-sea king crabs are part of the seafloor’s cleanup crew, searching for scraps and small bites in the muck. 

ALT

Porcupine crabs and their king crab kin are related to hermit crabs and lack one pair of walking legs compared to “true crabs”, while their bodily asymmetry tells of a different ancestral tale than other carcinized crustaceans.

ALT

You can check them out in our new “Into the Deep: Exploring Our Undiscovered Ocean” exhibition!

Range: western Pacific Ocean
Depth: 650 to 6,600 feet (200 to 2,000 m)

inktail:

t4t-lover:

why don’t you decarsinize and maybe you’ll be less crabby…

dankmemeuniversity:

autisticburnham:

Not enough crab aliens in Star Trek. You expect me to believe Earth’s full of crabs but space has hundreds of humanoids and no crabs?

saltqueer:

the silt verses vibes

gotinterest:

I demand that tumblr bring the crabs back. Tumblr should be the one and only social media with crabs that you can summon at the click of a button 24/7, 365 days a year. I think this would save this website.

PUT THE CRABS ON MOBILE!!!

mellifexfarm:

mellifexfarm:

himynameisredacted:

edgebug:

edgebug:

edgebug:

edgebug:

have i told y’all the story about how crab dicks are directly responsible for me and my partner getting together

okay so you know how in Moana, the crab Tamatoa refers to himself as a decapod? means ten legs. but he’s only got 8 legs visible. where the fuck is his last pair, thought me, kip edgebug.

now, tamatoa is a coconut crab. the last pair of legs—the legs not on tamatoa—are called the fifth pereiopods. no further information was available on Wikipedia or anywhere else. no information as to why those legs would be hidden on tamatoa. bizarre, thought me, kip edgebug. also conspicuously absent was information on coconut crab reproduction, which would be useful if someone wanted to, say, write completely anatomically accurate disney-themed crab porn.

so obviously the next step was to go scholarly. i spent maybe four or five hours that evening researching coconut crabs on various difficult to navigate academic sites. turns out there’s not a lot of public information on coconut crabs, probably because nobody wants to get close enough to a coconut crab to find out intimate info on them. i made a jstor account to access things not available to the masses.

and finally i uncovered it. the answers to both questions. I uncovered the method of coconut crab boning and the reason why tamatoa’s fifth pair of legs are invisible all in one fell swoop.

the fifth pereiopods, my friends, (get ready for this) are BANG LEGS, used for HOLDING ON to MATES during CRAB BANGING. that’s it. that’s why disney didn’t show them. because they’re DIRTY and SEXUAL LEGS. yknow, on a CRAB.

but kip edgebug, you cry, what does this have to do with getting together with your partner?

so on the particular dating site i was on, there was a prompt on user profiles that said “what do you spend a lot of time thinking about?” naturally i put “the reproductive habits of coconut crabs”, because, well. the next prompt was “what is the most embarrassing thing you’re willing to admit?” to which my answer was “did you read the thing about the coconut crabs?”

my sweetie messaged me specifically because of those answers, god help her, and i relayed the info i uncovered, and we hit it off from there

and that’s the story of how crab dicks are directly responsible for me and my partner getting together

Update im asking her to marry me tomorrow

Crab dick got me a fiancée

Oh this is my kind of love story