this blog doesn’t make sense and neither do i
Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
shout out to queer people who haven’t “known the whole time”, or didn’t hear labels for the first time and have something “click”. you’re not faking it, your story is still worthy of being told.
body shaming men is also wrong and not funny
disabled people deserve to survive the pandemic also
Lets normalise me not doing anything every day and having no direction in life!!!
Anti-Polyam attitudes that center around “It’s just cheating, but the other person knows about it” SO clearly come from people who have no understanding of why cheating is bad.
Cheating isn’t bad because you had sex with someone else. Cheating is bad because you violated the terms of your relationship. Cheating is bad because you violated your partner’s trust. That’s why things other than sex can be cheating- it’s why there’s emotional cheating.
Cheating is bad because it is violating your partner’s trust. It is bad because you and your partner(s) decided on something, trusted one another, and you said “fuck them and their trust”. THAT is why it is bad.
Polyamory is not cheating. In polyamory, everyone knows about everything and everyone. Everyone consents. There is communication. If not everyone is aware and consents, then it’s fucking cheating. There’s a damn difference.
There’s also the “Polyamory is bad because you’re having sex with someone who isn’t your one true love” which… I could go on all day about how fucking stupid that is, but same principle.
In honor of Pride month- stop shitting on polyamory and polyam people. And stop telling us that we’re all cheaters, because if you say that, you’re coming from a place of totally misunderstanding why cheating is bad. And, spoilers, cheating isn’t bad because of the sex.
men are actually great and the culture of “men aint shit” is damaging to so many people. being attracted to men is amazing and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
now im not an expert here by any means, but i think that the fact that there are several pieces of anon hate in my inbox right now saying that i am a “hypocrite,” “misogynist,” “simp,” “defending make abusers” and “defending the male agenda,” as well as at least one death threat proves my point as to why “men aint shit” culture is bad
hiya this might be a hot take but do not base your positions or morality on guilt. it can, will, and does make you defensive. base your opinions on compassion, reduce the harm you create, and do not spend forever agonizing about things you cannot change. worry about what you can do, care about others, and listen to new ideas and different people. if a person is criticizing something, try to figure out if its an action or an institution. if it’s an action, reflect on whether you participate in it. if its an institution that you are a part of, figure out how you can help to dismantle it. your guilt is unhelpful and worsens both your life and the help you give others, I say this from experience.
people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good
it’s not about actually being gifted, it’s about an initial higher scoring on standardized testing that means little to nothing or being good at learning in the way elementary and middle school wants you to, so you get marked as ‘advanced’. in reality, maybe you had faster development in certain areas, but the issue with being a gifted kid isn’t that “everyone told me I was so cool and special for reading and then I actually wasn’t :(” it’s “I wasn’t properly taught to handle things not coming easily to me, but the adults around me were counting on me not being a ‘difficult’ child in school.”
people who use it as some weird bragging method or interpret it that way are ignoring the way a lot of school systems force certain roles on students to simplify the learning process. If your kid doesn’t need to take notes to understand a science concept bc they get it naturally, well that’s good, but now you’re not teaching them how to take notes and they’re not learning that important soft skill. but because ‘gifted’ kids are easy and don’t show that they’re falling behind in learning in other categories that are harder to quantify, they eventually fall behind after that catches up to them. It’s about the failures of a one size fits all school system trying to compensate in the worst way possible.
And also the thing where ‘gifted’ kids are super likely to also be neuroatypical, which they don’t get screened for because they appear to be doing well in school. Or “You can’t be ADHD/autistic/etc, because you’re doing so well in school!”. Or being shamed for developing mental health issues/generally not being able to keep up with school work later, because you USED TO BE able to do it just fine.
Or the assumption that just because you can read well or you like math class, you’re somehow more EMOTIONALLY mature than your little kid brain is actually capable of being.
Or gifted kids whose parents and teachers put immense pressure on them to Do Great Things and Save The World and you’re like. “I’m 10 and I have no idea how to do that, but everyone is saying that’s my job?”.
This is the best “gifted kid” post out there. I never took notes until college because I didn’t have to, snd when it got challenging I had to literally teach myself note taking at age 18. It also fucks with your perception of asking for help - you’re advanced, you’re competent, you should be able to understand every topic easily. Asking for help/going to office hours/asking for a tutor feels like failing when you were praised in your early years for not needing to do that.