Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.

howtoimpersonateanadult:

“Don’t: Give inappropriate gifts or unasked for favors A major component of Trouble’s campaign to win my affection was to repeatedly present me with a very, very, very trashed chew toy. I neither needed nor wanted said toy, but Trouble insisted. While it (hopefully) doesn’t involve a chew toy, many of us have similar stories about an admirer who gave us something that made us uncomfortable (and plenty of us have been the givers of such gifts). It’s one thing to give a friend a gift. When I was in high school, my friend group (including my crush) exchanged small, usually DIY gifts around the holidays. If I’d given all my friends a normal gift and given my crush something huge, extravagant, or very obviously romantic, I’d likely have made the situation feel weird for everyone. Plus, if your crush doesn’t know your true feelings for them a romantically charged gift can be mighty confusing. They’re left wondering if you view them as a friend or if you have an ulterior motive for hanging out with them. There’s a cousin to the FEELINGS gift where you do a favor for the object of your affection that they did not ask you to do. Example: Me: (sitting outside, working) Trouble (translated from dog): Look, I dug you a hole! Me: Er, thanks Trouble. That was…nice of you. Trouble: Look it is a hole. Which I dug. I dug a hole. FOR YOU. Me (increasingly confused, slightly uncomfortable): Uh huh… Trouble: LOVE MEEEEEEEEE While there aren’t many people who dig a hole out of love, there are plenty of us who do a favor for a crush that they never asked us to do. If they mention they need to get their car washed soon and wake up the next day to find you in their driveway with a hose and bucket, they’re going to feel somewhat perplexed. Wanting to help out people we care about often comes from a good place, but when it’s done without checking with them first you risk plowing through a boundary and making them uncomfortable. The really nasty version of the unsolicited gift and favor giving is where you do it with the hopes of racking up enough points that your crush will eventually owe you something (a kiss, a date, sex, etc). If you find that’s the logic behind your gift giving actions, there are two things you need to remember. The first is that, if you’re doing something nice for someone in the hopes that they’ll then owe you something in return, that’s not actually a nice, thoughtful motive. And secondly, that’s not how people work. We don’t owe a person access to us, romantic or otherwise, because someone does us enough favors. We shouldn’t try and do anything to suggest someone does or make them feel like they do. Yuck.”

—

Puppy Love: The Do’s & Don'ts of Crushes (With Help from a Very Small Dog)

It’s February, and talk of love is all over the place. But what do you do if you’re crushing on someone? Learn from the example of Trouble the dog.

(via hellyeahscarleteen)

greelin:

you truly do not exist for other ppl’s consumption and your existence is not hinged on making others happy and comfortable by stifling and hiding and crushing and editing parts of yourself to be less than who you really are

siriusblackandmild:

Even if Bernie Sanders does become President, it’s not going to change shit if you don’t vote for your mayors, governors, sheriffs, senators, local councilman, etc. If you don’t vote in the non presidential elections for representation that falls in line with his policies, you’re just setting yourself up for a grand disappointment. More education and priority needs to be put into the multiple elections that happen midterm. Because, those are the people who directly effect you and who move up the ladder in your area until they run for president.

mutantwanda:

to elaborate on bookshop’s thoughts, the reason that tonks/lupin was disappointing is not because the concept of tonks and lupin being in love is bad. it’s not. i shipped it way back when and i still do. the reason is that the romance was developed in a way that actively pushed back against queer interpretations of either character. as soon as it’s revealed they’re in love, their narrative becomes marriage-baby-settling-down so fast i think i got whiplash, suddenly he’s calling her “dora” instead of the gender-neutral name she tells people to call her, and pottermore tells us that she’s the only person he was ever in love with, which precludes the possibility of any previous same-gender relationships that might have led to a bisexual identity. it’s a huge disappointment, considering the fact that she’s important to a lot of readers as a gender-non-conforming-possibly-genderqueer character who doesn’t give a crap about others’ expectations and he’s deliberately, unsubtly queer-coded (jk rowling intended werewolves as a metaphor for aids stigma). the straightening of tonks and lupin and the related furthering of the series’ idealization of one way of living your life (“settling down,” nuclear family, putting radical ideas aside as you get older) are a big bummer. 

ginnydear:

look, with mother’s day coming up, I feel the need to remind people that there are people out there who 

  • don’t get along with their mothers, 
  • don’t think their mothers are beautiful, 
  • don’t want anything to do with their mothers 

and guilt tripping them in any way, or shaming them for not buying gifts/flowers/etc… is ignorant asshole behavior, and is v detrimental to someone’s mental stability surrounding any abuse they received from their mother. 

fuckitandflee:

The real problem with books-turned-movies isn’t “omg they didn’t include every single word in the book” it’s “omg they completely overlooked the main theme, threw out any significant allegories, took away all the emotional pull, an turned it into a boring action movie with a love triangle in it”