Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
You’re going to fucking stink to high heaven. That’s puberty. Get a good deodorant, shave your armpits or become a hermit. Even then, you’ll still probably stink.
Right around 3-6 months on T, you’re going to be in itchy, unbearable agony as your new hair grows in. I scratched so badly that I had welts and blisters that scarred. I’d scratch in my sleep. It never stopped. It was brutal. Hydrocortisone cream and anti-itch powders will help. Avoid having your skin damp for prolonged periods. Avoid excessive heat. Don’t wear spandex. Compression clothing such as tight boxer-briefs or binders will make it worse. Crying like a little baby does not help, but you will doubtlessly try this, no matter how manly you think you are. We are all little babies during this time.
Binding causes scars under your arms and on your shoulders. It also causes acne. Cystic acne.
T promotes muscle growth and fat loss… and hunger. If you make bad food choices, you will gain weight, no matter how much you think T is a magic weight loss potion. It is not a magic weight loss potion. On that note, you will gain weight. Muscle weighs more than fat. I dropped 3 clothing sizes but gained 30 pounds in weight.
Your genitals will hurt. Your dick is going to rub against your underwear or packer if it’s not properly positioned under your skin. You will master the awkward cowboy walk to the bathroom to fix it in a way that draws the least attention. Crying like a little baby does not help, but you will probably do it anyway.
One day, you’re going to wake up and the first thing out of your mouth will sound so unrecognizable that you think you’ve switched bodies with someone else. It’ll be like going from Avril Lavigne to Morgan Freeman overnight. At least, that’s what it will feel like to you. Crying like a little baby is acceptable when this happens.
Everything causes acne. Even your acne meds. You can’t fix it. All you can do is live with it until your hormones stop going haywire.
Some lucky transmen experience temporary uterine insanity. That is, your uterus goes insane and starts cramping randomly. Some endocrinologists theorize that it’s due to the muscles increasing in size from the testosterone so rapidly that they cut off their own blood supply. The pain level from this ranges from “a bear on PCP ate my toe off” and “I just took a shotgun shell full of lemon and rock salt to my external genitalia.” Crying like a little baby does not fix it, but you will do it. You will probably have random bleeding, painful intercourse and lower body weakness. Go to your doctor. Get pain medication. Try to avoid getting addicted to the pain medication. Don’t send nudes of yourself to Pizza Hut when high on the pain medication (as I have done).
Sometimes your voice will break completely in half and you can sing baritone AND soprano. This is great at parties. It gets even greater when you’re drunk.
Drinking before a blood test will mess up your results and may lead your endocrinologist to change your T dose when it’s not necessary.
100mg/week is not the gold standard magic-making dose. That’s where most endocrinologists put you until you figure out the best dose for yourself, with blood tests to monitor your levels so you don’t make your heart explode. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less. It’s trial and error. Don’t inject T into a vein. That’s really stupid. Crying like a baby will not help. You’ll probably hurt yourself and look like a giant idiot in the ER.
You will mess up your injections frequently. Golf-ball sized swellings, redness and heat can be common even without infections. Sometimes it will hurt so much that you can’t even walk, sit down, masturbate or shit without being in horrible agony. Cry and move on. Biofreeze will be your best friend. Note: wash your hands after applying Biofreeze, especially before you attempt to use the restroom. Ibuprofen helps with the pain better than tylenol and is less likely to make your liver turn black.
People who don’t know you well, such as your favorite barista or your pharmacist, will stop recognizing you at some point. This is normal. Use it advantageously.
T will change your emotional responses to things. A lot of people think that it makes you angry and this is not always true. You may have stronger emotional reactions to things. You may have less strong reactions to things. You may get sad where you once got angry, and vice-versa. This is normal. Adapt. If someone tells you that you’re being an asshole, listen to them. It’s also appropriate to tell them to go fuck themselves.
Your informed consent sheet will tell you that your genitals will be drier than the Sahara in the summer. This is not always true. In fact, sometimes the opposite can happen and it’ll be quite swampy. Learn to adapt. Or get Summer’s Eve. Sadly, they don’t make it in Axe scents.
If you’re under 21, it’s possible that you might get taller. Remember the growing pains you used to get as a child? Now imagine those but 500% worse. That’s what it will feel like. You will also have to relearn your spatial relationships with the surrounding world. You will be awkward and clumsy. You will knock things over and be in a constant state of bruised.
You will be less iron deficient on T if you stop menstruating. If you have iron-deficiency anemia, it may clear up entirely.
The copper IUD contraceptive Paraguard can cause your periods to come back. Transgender men looking for an IUD are encouraged to choose Mirena, which is infused with progesterone. Progesterone-only hormonal contraceptives such as Depo-Provera, Implanon/Nexapro, the morning after pill and some daily oral contraceptives are less likely to interfere with your HRT but will likely worsen your acne, cause weight gain and affect your moods. If you are under 25, are on T and have Mirena placed, it is likely your body will reject it. This is very painful and it’d probably be less painful if you stuck both of your feet into a bear trap. You will cry like a little baby. You will also throw up and shit yourself.
Do not attempt to STP while intoxicated. If cis guys can’t control their urine streams while intoxicated, you sure as hell can’t.
And just to piss you off: Testosterone therapy is a subjective experience. No matter how much you can prepare yourself for the changes, you’ll be surprised by what’s happening to you. After you start T, it’s likely you’ll feel lost. You spent a lot of time and mental effort getting to this point and now there’s not much to do but wait. At some point, your changes will slow down. Some day, you’re going to wake up with a beard and not remember the time you didn’t have one. And neither will anyone else. So just be and stop worrying.
To all the dudes who need to have this info before having freak-out episodes because any or all of these things happen to you!!
everyone, especially trans lesbians and gay trans men, should be sure to block & report a blog that’s shown up here recently called “youre-not-passing” which reblogs mostly trans lesbian and gay trans men’s selfies with nothing but insults and deliberate misgendering. quite a few members of our community have already been targeted by the terf running the blog, along with their followers. please be on the lookout and be safe. if enough people report them, hopefully their blog will be removed, but in the meantime i advise you all to block the blog so that you’re not targeted, i also encourage everyone to reach out to those who have been targeted and make sure they’re okay and give them some love and validation. be safe y'all
also PLEASE reblog this and share with other people so they’re aware !!!! i just wanna make sure everyone’s safe
Hey trans day of visibility is coming up soon (March 31st) and there’s going to be a lot of selfies posted so please signal boost this post
so i guess activated charcoal lattes are the newest latte trend? for why? i hate to break it to y’all but unless you’ve ingested poison recently, activated charcoal has no real benefits. just stick to matcha [polyphenols/ antioxidants] and chai [antioxidants+anti-inflammatory]
also, if you’re on any important medications, and i know a lot of you are, don’t fucking drink these. charcoal doesn’t discriminate. it’ll render your meds useless and absorb them too as well as some other beneficial nutrients
^^^^ including hormonal birth control. Don’t fall for the charcoal bullshit. Stay safe.
They’re drinking what now? Jesus Christ on toast. This is almost as bad as people drinking essential oils cause they think they’re the same thing as tinctures.
Because of the way activated charcoal works it will affect ANY medication taken orally, which is why webmd says if you are taking it you should wait 1-2 hours before doing so to give your body time to absorb what it needs from your meds. It also says in great big bold letters “for short term use” not “put it in your late for a daily dose” good grief.
choking on water is the worst because how do you stop choking? drink something? well ive got some bad news for you
Lean your head forward, preferably to knee level, and let the water kind of drain out of your mouth. When your are able to, take deep slow breaths. No heimlich maneuver or physical assists from somebody else should be used beyond this, otherwise you could vomit and escalate the issue. Its about keeping the larynx open. Hopefully this helps.
Reblog to fucking save a life.
Omg finally I see a solution because I do this at least once a week and cough until everyone stares at me and makes me uncomfortable.
this is the most sophisticated phishing e-mail I have ever received and if they had sized the logo correctly and actually proofread the fucking thing I probably would’ve clicked that button
actually please reblog this because someone else got it too. do not click on the links in this e-mail if you get one like it, just forward it to spoof@paypal.com and delete it
Yes, but I always check in independantly on my Paypal account to check. I never use those links. Just because.
I know this is long, but please read and reblog this so that we can try and circulate HELPFUL information instead of deadly suggestions.
After stumbling across the last post I reblogged that was full of a lot of DANGEROUS, BAD, TERRIBLE advice in reference to how to handle calling 911 when in danger, I feel compelled to at least try and get some better information out there in the Tumblr community. I am a 911 dispatcher and the first piece of advice I have for anyone in an emergency situation (or even for someone that calls 911 accidentally) is:
DO NOT HANG UP. In case you didn’t get that the first time, I said DO NOT HANG UP THE PHONE. We cannot help you if we do not know where you are, and contrary to what is apparently popular belief, we are NOT mind readers & without knowing your location (which you must provide) we CAN NOT get you help.
To help you understand the importance of this, I’m going to explain to you what happens when you call 911 in my center and in the centers in my area.
911 line rings.
We answer: “_______ (name of your agency) 911, WHERE is your emergency?”
In a perfect world, the caller will respond with the address of their emergency.
If you are unable to do so, we will start to retransmit your location. It takes time. Again, in a perfect world, we can usually get it in less than 10 seconds, but we do not live in a perfect world and so it often doesn’t happen that quickly. (Also, if you’re in an apartment complex, trailer park, hotel, etc, it’s not going to give us the room, lot, etc. number that you’re actually in, even with a retransmit). It is true that if you call from a landline your address will often populate for us, however, the address is NOT always right! We need you to try your ABSOLUTE BEST to provide us with an accurate address. By not knowing your location, you’re prolonging the response time. The call has to be answered, have a confirmed address, type of call that we’re responding to so that the correct responders are dispatched, and then it has to be dispatched. In smaller jurisdictions, their fire/EMS is often volunteer. That means: THEY ARE COMING FROM HOME TO THE STATION. It takes time & the more time we waste just trying to figure out where you are, the longer you’re going to be waiting for a life saving response.
The TERRIBLE information post that is going around tells you to call 911, hang up, and then turn your phone off. NO, NO, NO. That is the absolute WORST thing you could ever do. When a 911 hang up comes in we attempt to call the line back twice. If the line isn’t open long enough to retransmit an address (which most of the time it’s not), that’s it. The call gets out in and closed. There is literally NOTHING WE CAN DO TO HELP YOU. Even if we DO retransmit an address and there is no sign of a disturbance or no other indication that there is an emergency, we often do not send a responder because if we send one to every call, we’d be wasting a LOT of time and resources. We receive 911 hang ups/accidental 911 calls ALL DAY LONG. (Side note: the most common ones that we receive come from disconnected cell phones. Every cell phone (disconnected or not) with battery life can call 911, but 911 CANNOT call those phones back). If you call from a disconnected cell and we’re not able to get a location (or are and not hear any signs that would indicate a need for service), you will most likely not get the help you need.
Moral of this point: DO NOT HANG UP and KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. Try to pay attention to mile markers on the interstate & landmarks, signs or road names. If you call accidentally-STAY ON THE LINE. We (at least at my agency) will ask you to verify your name and address and that there is no emergency. As long as nothing feels/sounds wrong about it to us, we won’t send an officer to knock on your door. You won’t get in trouble. No one will be mad. Just stay on the line so that we don’t waste time and resources on a call that is not emergent.
Disclosure: some agencies offer text to 911. Don’t assume that you can text 911 unless you know that your locality has that capability. A lot of them don’t. If you’re able to safely call you should ALWAYS call rather than text. It’s faster and more efficient.
Moving on-
Answer our questions. We’re not asking you questions for our own amusement. Everything we ask you on the line is for your own safety and for the safety of our responders. They are much more well equipped to handle your emergency if they know what they’re walking into and what supplies they need to bring in with them when they come. We’re NOT going to send our fire/EMS into a scene that is not safe, so answer our questions so that we know which resources need to be provided to you. I know that often times the calls that people place to us are during some of the worst, most terrifying moments of their lives & we WANT to help you in the best way that we know how. We ask the things that we ask because it’s required & because the more we know, the higher the quality of service that we provide you will be.
ALSO: While we’re asking you the questions, most likely RESPONDERS HAVE ALREADY BEEN DISPATCHED. If you didn’t get that, read it again. You can’t imagine how much time we spend trying to argue answers to questions out of callers because we’re being screamed at: “JUST GET THEM HERE QUICKLY.” “HE/SHE/I’LL BE DEAD BEFORE YOU GET THEM HERE,” etc. you’re wasting your time and mine. Try your best to work with us because our number one goal is to get you the help you need as quickly as possible. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t do this for the money. The medics, fire fighters, police officers and animal control officers DON’T do this for the money. (It’s not there, in case you were wondering.) we do this because we genuinely care about other human beings. We want to HELP. We CARE. We are here to protect and serve, but we cannot do that effectively if people are constantly fighting against us.
If you have any questions about how things work here or need advice as to how to handle a call in to 911, feel free to ask and I will give you the best advice that I can. Just please, please don’t listen to terrible misinformation (like calling, hanging up and turning your phone off). These situations are often the line between life and death. As cliche as it sounds, help us help you. Much love, Tumblr fam!
Also, to any of my fellow dispatchers, feel free to add to this. I know that things can vary from one locality to another, so I think any input would be helpful! I tried to just stick to the basics in this post for that reason. :)
@therapy101@thistherapylife@socialworkmemes@all-about-psychology@theangrytherapist@thecalminside could you guys please reblog this to try and circulate correct information about how to receive help in an emergency situation? There is some VERY bad information going around that provides dangerous suggestions in reference to calling 911 and that makes me so afraid for anyone that reads it and thinks that it’s true.
Packing is when a person without a large biological penis wears something in their pants in order to mimic the appearance or function of having a penis or a larger penis.
Usually, trans-masculine people pack but anyone is allowed to and able to if they are interested in doing so (despite the language in the links which is geared towards trans guys). Some people just aren’t interested in any of this; that’s totally ok and vald.
To be quite honest, packing usually doesn’t make or break passing, if passing is something you care about. You don’t have to pack to pass as a guy in most circumstances! In general, if you aren’t swimming in a speedo, peeing at a urinal, changing in front of others, or getting groped/felt up, people won’t notice if you don’t have a penis. Packing doesn’t help everyone’s dysphoria either; some people find that it can make them feel worse, because they’re more aware of the part that they’re “missing”.
What do I want?
Soft packer: Used for packing to get a bit of a bulge and alleviate dysphoria, typically looks like a penis and is sometimes worn in a harness. Often needs to have cornstarch put on it so it isn’t tacky
(Read the links! They go way more in depth than this post.)
Before rushing into a purchase, it’s important to consider what you’re looking for. You may be able to make a basic packer or STP yourself. That can save you money, and help you decide if you want to purchase a product.
Single-function items that are either just for packing, just for peeing, or just for sex are often less expensive than multiple function ones. If only one aspect bothers you, like if you only want to be able to pee standing up, then looking at only STP devices would be a good place to start, for example.
If you’re looking for something that can be used to pack and have sex with, or pack and pee with, or pack, pee, and have sex with, the price starts to rise (if you aren’t making something yourself and you’re buying something).
Choosing the size of your packer
I’m making this a whole section because I have very strong feelings on this issue. Let’s say you’ve decided you’re going to buy a soft packer. You’re looking at the different models online. You’ve chosen one, and now you need to pick a size.
If you are packing without the intention of having sex with your packer, you want it to look like a flaccid penis, not an erection. There’s a lot of pressure to have a big ol’ dick, but I want you to know that it is not what most cis men with penises have in their pants. Yes, 3.5 inches is the average flaccid penis size- this means that about half of all men have a flaccid penis that’s a bit bigger, and half have a flaccid penis that’s a bit smaller. Everyone’s got a different penis, and it’s okay if you’re bigger or smaller than average, but I think it’s extremely important to be aware of what the average is so you are making a conscientious choice to go bigger or smaller. Penises get larger when they’re erect, so if you’re getting a dildo or a hard packer, you should consider if you want to go larger or not, but if you’re just soft packing, I want you to take a moment and think about it; I know your instinct is to go for a medium or large sized packer, but the labeling is deceiving. What packer companies label as “small” is usually the average size flaccid penis; “medium” is usually bigger than average. It’s harder to pack with a larger packer than it is with a smaller packer, larger packers are often more expensive than smaller ones, and large packers are often not realistically flaccid lengths and look like hard-ons.
I’m not saying that no cis men have large flaccid penises; that isn’t true. I am saying that the media makes it seem like men on average have larger penises than they do. Men in porn usually have larger than average size penises, and they’re usually erect, which means they’re sometimes double the length of the flaccid penis. Because society makes having a larger penis seem enviable, men sometimes overstate the size of their penis if you ask them because they’re worried that their penis is small. Small penis jokes made to emasculate men continue to perpetrate the myth of the Ubiquitous Large Dick because nobody wants to admit that their penis is small. Let’s have some radical body acceptance up in here and say that it’s okay to have whatever size penis or packer you have, and it doesn’t make you unmanly to have a small one, or extra-masculine to have a large one.
I want you to look at a ruler. Stop reading this post, get up, get a ruler, and come back. Okay? Now measure out the length of the average flaccid penis. Three and a half inches. Look at it. Now look at the length of the packer you were considering buying. How different is it? This is an activity to make you more mindful of what size is average. Pay attention to the the junk of the guys you see in the street and who you interact with on the daily. Chances are you can hardly notice a dick print, especially if you’re at work or at school. Even the Nude standing men gallery on Wikipedia is somewhere to start.
Below is a paragraph from Hudson’s FTM guide saying the same thing:
In order to see what male anatomy tends to look like in underwear, in swim trunks, or jeans or slacks, it can be helpful to look at men’s clothing catalogs or internet retailers of menswear or men’s underwear– this way, you can stare as much as you want at guys’ crotches without having to worry about offending or upsetting anyone. The web site www.erectionphotos.com has a “soft/hard” section, showing penises in both flaccid and erect states. It shows variation in the size and shape of men’s penises, and shows men of varying body types and ages. Searching the web for “flaccid penis photos” will yield other results as well. Just keep in mind while you are looking that the average length for a flaccid penis tends to be just over 3 inches, and that the men you see in most porn sites and movies will tend to be very well-endowed, and will usually be shown while erect.
I’m trying to save you from falling into the trap of buying a big dick for the hell of buying a big dick without considering it. Packer companies will try to lure you into buying a bigger packer because they make more money that way. It’s just a body part, y’all, let’s not get too caught up in the hype. Don’t buy into toxic masculinity! There’s nothing wrong with having a small penis. There’s nothing wrong with having an average penis.
The below graph shows the frequency of certain size penises in centimeters. (X)
One study showed the mean flaccid penis length to be 3.5 inches (8.9 cm)
A review of several studies found the average flaccid length to be 3.5–3.9 inches (9–10 cm)
Alright, I think you get the point. Flaccid penises aren’t as big as you might think they are. Now, I’m going to admit something: I currently have 5 packers, and they range in size from 3″ to 7.5″. Yeah, 7.5″ is big. It’s almost unrealistically big for a flaccid penis- but not an erect one. I am not telling you that you can’t buy a big packer if you want a big packer; I have a large packer myself, and bigger can sometimes be better if you’re prioritizing using it for sex instead of daily packing. Yes, getting a smaller packer is usually better to start out with if you’re new to packing. But if you’re experienced with packing or if you just really want a big packer, go ahead and get one! You may not be striving for realism and that’s 100% okay. And even though 3.5″ is the average flaccid penis size, there are people with larger penises! Penis size doesn’t correlate to your height, race, foot size, as some myths suggest. A smaller person could have a larger penis and a tall person could have a smaller one, the two variables aren’t dependant!
The point of this paragraph is just to make sure that you’re making a conscious decision if you choose to get a packer that’s larger than usual knowing that it may be a bit unwieldy, not to police your packer buying. Some people have larger packers and they can pack easily with them and love them, and that’s a-okay.
Spend time researching packers!
Look through different websites to see the packers available for purchase. Read reviews of the packers on forums and on Tumblr. Watch YouTube reviews of packers. Contact people about their packers and ask them questions if they’re open to it! This post is just a very cursory and topical overview of packers, it’s not all there is to know. Now you are aware of what packing is, but not fully informed on the pros and cons of individual different packers. There is so much out there on different blogs! Trawl the net, ask Dark Google what the best dick is (that’s a joke because different packers are good for different people depending on what they’re looking for so there is no one best packer but yeah, google ftm packers and stp packers and pack and play packers or whatever you want!) Make sure you know how much money you’re willing to spend buying a packer. Start to save up money if you’re broke.
Sidenote: Genitals can be a shade or two darker than the rest of your skin, so you might want to choose a packer one tone darker than your thigh. However, I urge you to be cautious with this- you don’t want a packer that’s way too dark for you! If you’re white, you shouldn’t be getting a black penis, that’s Too Far.
Make sure you read multiple reviews before you buy a packer, because some companies are scams or just shitty. Three companies to avoid are below:
Don’t shop at packer locker (It’s a scam and I personally lost $15 dollars from them that I never got back and others have lost more)
Don’t shop at The Ultimate Prosthetic (This is also a scam and people have lost hundreds of dollars and never recieved products)
Don’t shop at FtmConnect (the owner is racist and the packers aren’t even that great anyway)
Some of the packers you could buy:
This is an incomplete list, and there are more options for packers/STPs/etc out there!! If the link doesn’t work, just google the product name because most of these are sold in multiple stores/websites (and send me an ask so I can fix the link).
Buy the packer. Clear your internet history if you’re at home and not using a library computer. Make sure the invoice is sent to an email that only you have access to.
Either have it shipped to your house or to a friend’s house if your parents will be suspicious.
Method 2: You have cash
Pick the packer you want online, add it to the website’s shopping cart and start to check out until you find how much it costs with shipping and tax.
Save up enough money to buy the packer. Make sure you have a few dollars extra, to buy the card itself and just incase.
Go into a store and buy a prepaid VISA card. They have them at lots of stores, even CVS. (You can also ask a friend to do this if you can’t get to a store on your own)
Prepaid credit cards require you to be 18 to open an account, but you can purchase prepaid gift cards at a grocery or other store at any age and use them wherever Visa, MasterCard or AMEX are accepted.
These gift cards, which aren’t reloadable, usually carry an activation fee along the lines of $4.95 for every $50 increment. You usually find them in denominations of $25, $50 or $100.
Buy the packer online. If you don’t have access to a computer at home, use one at the library.
Clear your internet history if you’re at home. Make sure the invoice is sent to an email that only you have access to.
Ship it to a consenting friend’s house or an accepting relative, if you have one.
Hide it when you get it and keep it hidden when you aren’t wearing it.
(Or ask a friend with a debit/credit/gift card to buy you a binder if you give them the cash.)
Method 4: You have friends with a debit card and you have cash
If you have a friend or supportive relative with a debit card or a credit card, ask them to buy the packer of your choice and ship it to their house
Pay the person back in cash
Please feel free to reblog with more information on packing, or more helpful links if you know any!
If you have a packer and are willing to help others with their choice, reblog this post and write what kind of packer you have so people with questions about that packer can contact you!
This post will be occasionally updated if new info is needed, so contact me if a link is broken. Last updated: 1/11/18
I got a call from someone claiming to be from fraud department of my
bank over the weekend. The call showed up on my caller ID as US Bank
which is how I have it saved in my contacts. He said there was a
fraudulent charge from American Airlines and I was on that their website
booking a flight about an hour prior to the call.
For a moment I thought it was legit but then he asked for a pin #.
Just be careful because the caller ID makes it seem real. The actual
fraud department said they have seen this multiple times with the caller
ID showing as the bank. :/
mostly toward my younger followers, be on the look out for anyone who has the acronym “MAP” on their blog. MAP stands for minor attracted person which is a code word for pedophile. If you see any around just block, report and stay away
Another acronym that has been in use is NOP which stands for “non offending pedophile” which there is no such thing. There is a full community of these people on this site and if you come across any, DO NOT INTERACT! Block, report and stay away
Also virped which is “virtuous pedophile” also meaning “non offending”
