coolscar:

Do u ever have an inside joke with urself

mymompickedthisurl:

i-am-the-punk-mermaid:

mymompickedthisurl:

formidableopponents:

mymompickedthisurl:

ok so.
there’s an office administrator at my work and she has this cute little 2 year old named William. he calls me “Nick so tall”. like that’s my name to him, but he says it like it’s one word. “Nicksotall”. and i love it
so I’ve taken to calling him Will So Lil’ and we get along like a housefire.
i haven’t seen him in like two weeks, but his mom comes in to work today and tells me that recently he’s been telling his own bedtime stories, and he starts them all with once upon a time and everything. cute right? well to me it gets cuter, because he has been telling stories about Batman, Spider-man, and Nicksotall.
and we have these adventures and climb buildings and fight crime together and i have to be honest, it warmed my heart so fucking much it’s ridiculous

tl;dr I’m a superhero to an adorable 2 year old

yessssssss

This is so pure

i had a visitor at work today.  willsoli’l was a ‘struction worker

pipiblustocking:

gokuma:

valencing:

teenagedream:

• “I took a break from my rigorous nap schedule to be here. And as you’ve already heard, it’s a treat for all of you too, because usually, I charge a lot for speeches like this.”
• “Getting through these three debates with Donald has to count as a miracle, so I guess I’m up against the highest, hardest, stained glass ceiling.”
  
• “I just wanna put you all in a basket of adorables.”
  
• “You look so good in your tuxes, or as I refer to them, ‘formal pantsuits.’”
  
• “Donald, if at any time you don’t like what I’m saying, feel free to stand up and shout ‘WRONG’ while I’m talking.”
  
• “It’s amazing I’m up here after Donald. I didn’t think he’d be okay with a peaceful transition of power.”
  
• “Donald, after listening to your speech, I will also enjoy listening to Mike Pence deny that you ever gave it.”
  
• “Remember, if you don’t like how it turned out, it must be rigged.”
  
• “People look at the Statue of Liberty and see a proud symbol […] Donald looks at the Statue of Liberty and sees a 4, maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair.”
  
• “I understand I am not known for my sense of humor. That’s why it did take a village to write these jokes.”
  
• “I’m not boring at all. In fact, I’m the life of every party I attend, and I’ve been to three.”
  
• “When the parties get out of hand, as occasionally they do, it’s important to have a responsible chaperone who can get everyone home safely, and that is why I picked Tim Kaine to be my vice president.”
  
• “You notice there is no teleprompter here tonight, which is probably smart because maybe you saw Donald dismantle his prompter the other day. And I get that. They’re hard to keep up with, and I’m sure it’s even harder when you’re translating from the original Russian.”
• “Donald wanted me drug-tested before last night’s debate, and look, I gotta tell you, I am so flattered that Donald thought I used some sort of performance enhancer. Now actually, I did. It’s called preparation.”
• “I’ve had to listen to Donald for three full debates, and he says I don’t have any stamina. That is four and a half hours. I have now stood next to Donald longer than any of his campaign managers.”
• “Whoever wins this election, the outcome will be historic. We will either have the first female president or the first president who started a Twitter war with Cher.”
  
• “If Donald does win, it’ll be awkward at the annual President’s Day photo, when all the former presidents gather at the White House. And not just with Bill – how is Barack gonna get past the Muslim ban?”
  
• “Donald has issues. Serious issues. Really, really serious issues.”
  
• “[Donald] actually sent me a car to bring me here tonight. Actually, it was a hearse.”
  
• “Donald really is as healthy as a horse, you know, the one Vladimir Putin rides around on.”
• “I will be the healthiest and youngest woman ever to serve as president.”
  
• “I’ve tried to inspire young people […] and [Donald] is doing the same. A third-grade teacher told me that one of her students refused to turn in his homework because it was under audit.”
  
• “Here’s another similarity. The Republican National Committee isn’t spending a dime to help either one of us.”
• “Let’s embrace the spirit of the evening, let’s come together, remember what unites us, and just rip on Ted Cruz.”
• “I hope you enjoyed my remarks tonight. I said ‘no’ to some jokes that I thought were over the line, but I suppose you can judge for yourself on Wikileaks in the next few days.”

hillary’s speech of ass-kicking comic genius

trump humiliating himself to widespread boos

I also liked how all the reporters were stunned you apparently could be booed by priests XD

Originally posted by mogifire

steviemcfly:

Trump is only two points ahead in Texas now. If you’re in Texas and vote third party or don’t vote this year, I will personally never forgive you for stealing the joy of watching the GOP freak out at Texas going blue from me.