Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
Elim Garak understands something really upsetting and bad happening, but when you look back on it, even if it was straight up abuse, going “oh, that wasn’t too bad” and underplaying it. It might not make sense, but it’s a common reaction to trauma or abuse to underplay it and try to convince yourself or others that it wasn’t too bad, or that you’re overreacting by calling it abuse, even if there’s evidence to the contrary. It can take a while to admit to yourself that this thing that happened was really bad and maybe even damaging to you, and it can be really hard to do that. Remember to take care of yourself and reach out to safe people who care about you if you need help working through this. He believes in you.
my new favorite hobby is coming up with speculative anatomy for fictional aliens - i think it would be cool if Cardassians were a little more snake-like since their silhouette was meant to emulate a cobra, and also it would funny if cardassians had tongue-flicking and gaping behaviors like snakes and lizards do. only, they’d probably have a ton of weird etiquette rules and hang-ups about it, lol.
oh i love this! i was just speculating this last night!
i decided that cardassians also have tapita lucida which means their eyes glow in the dark when a light is shined on them (like a cat). apparently crocodiles, alligators, and caimans are some of the only reptiles who have this!
also, nictating membranes. i like the thought of garak sitting there with his weird semi-translucent extra eyelids closed and julian being like “aw he’s asleep!” and then garak talks to him and he about jumps out of his skin. though like the tongue flicking, having your eyelids closed like that is probably impolite and you wouldn’t do it in front of people.
did you know that crocodiles can apparently sleep with one eye open? for a species as structured around paranoia as the cardassians, I feel like this is a regular thing for them to do.
pleurodont dentition is a cool concept too! where they have a bunch of teeth that regularly fall out and regrow. molly o'brien loses her first tooth and is like “look, uncle garak!” and garak shows her one of his that he just lost and miles is like “…ew”
tl;dr: cardassians with glowing eyes, creepy eyelids, and 4 rows of teeth that fall out and regrow. i love aliens
Oh dude AWESOME addition!! Also I headcanon Klingons as having pleurodont dentition as well, so I’m really enjoying the idea of like. Garak babysitting Molly at some point (since he and Keiko are totally gardening buddies somehow) and she loses a tooth and Garak shows her one he lost, as above, and then a few weeks later when Worf’s babysitting her she loses another one and he (totally independent of Garak) does the same thing and Miles begins to wonder if it’s everyone else that’s weird or just him for thinking this is gross
Anyways I love the nictitating membrane idea lol, I keep giving nictitating membranes to like all the aliens but I feel like Cardassians in particular definitely have them
Also if anyone wants another fun Cardassian headcanon thing, I’ve been headcanoning their hair as being much more feathery (like you know the teeny wispy bits on ostrich or peacock tail feathers? I imagine one “Strand” of hair, for a Cardassian, as a reeeaaalllyy long wispy bit, complete with that super itty bitty flexible quill in the middle of it)
we know that universal translators exist in Star Trek, it’s fundamental. but we don’t really know how… graceful? that translation is. Does it have any style? i’m thinking Julian is , as we know, passing him classic human literature and garak’s reading it–
“God-will-hear = me! The past was a time before the present by some amount. I am bored and my little bag has no things inside. God-will-hear ( = me! ) looked at wooden floaty and brain said ‘climb on top of wooden floaty to acquire currency of metal disks’! Floating object would be floating in Big Wet so eyes could see Big Wet! Blood is in my body.”
and he is like what the fuck is this and
Julian: moby dick is one of the most Famous Novels for being amazing. i can’t believe you don’t love it
AU in which Garak keeps ending up in Julian’s bed, like maybe he is sleep walking? They don’t have sex. Julian just keeps waking up with Garak snuggled against him. He gets up and goes to work without waking Garak, and Garak gets up and goes about his day. And they never talk about it. For like. Weeks? Maybe a couple months?
Eventually something happens that forces them to talk about it. Lots of angst ensues, but they end up working things out. And then neither of them ever has to sleep alone again.
Adding a Note: this can absolutely be aro/ace! The important part is the snuggles. Thank you.
I just had an idea for the something that happens. What if this is while Julian and Leeta are dating? Julian stays over at her quarters sometimes, but she never stays over with him. But one morning, when they have spent the night apart, Leeta goes to Julian’s quarters to surprise him, and Garak is there. Leeta assumes Julian is cheating on her. Julian can’t explain why Garak is there, because he doesn’t really know. Garak, having just been woken up, is probably not on his best behavior. So it all blows up.
For @bardicious, the first installment of a rescue fic
—
Garak was in a good mood. He’d managed to get some Delavian chocolates. The present was an inside joke at this point, with packages of it passed between him and Julian whenever one or the other got their hands on some. Since Garak had a hard time expressing his feelings, the chocolates became a code – a message expressing love, thankfulness, admiration, loyalty, and several other emotions Garak didn’t want to put a name to. He smiled as he thought of Julian’s face lighting up, of Julian absolutely insisting that he couldn’t eat them all himself, of Julian replicating a bottle of Earth wine that would pair nicely with it. The wine never did justice to the chocolates, but neither of them really cared. It was the idea of wine and chocolates that counted.
Garak stood outside Julian’s door and pulled down sharply on the front of his jacket. The piece was one of his newer creations, specifically designed to show off his neck ridges and made out of a rich, blue fabric that brought out the paleness of his scales and the icy blue of his eyes. He pressed the chime to alert Julian that he was here. He waited a few seconds. Julian wasn’t always prompt with the door, especially if he had romantic plans in the works. However, usually, he would have called out by now – at very least with a “Who is it?”
Ten seconds had passed. He fiddled the box of chocolates between his fingers. “Doctor?” he called.
No response.
Panic surged through Garak. Get a hold of yourself, Elim, he thought as he pressed the chime again. He’s probably just in the shower or…
Fifteen seconds. It had been fifteen seconds without a response. He knew he was going to get an earful from Julian. Something about Federation standards for privacy and how he would have gotten the door eventually. Well, if Julian wanted his privacy respected, he was going to have to come to the door sooner.
“Computer. Access code Garak 1-3-5-9,” he said. The doors to Julian’s quarters swished open.
The first thing Garak smelled was blood.
—
Julian was on a ship. He could tell that much from the hum of the warp drive and the slight vibration beneath him as they soared through space. He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d gotten there. One moment, he had been reviewing The Princess Bride so he could have more accurate points to argue with Garak over dinner. The next, he felt someone’s hand on the back of his head and a sharp pain in his skull as his forehead was slammed against the table. He’d tried to squirm out of his assailant’s grasp, but was stuck with a hypo-spray before he could manage it. Now, he was blindfolded, kneeling on the floor of a ship, his hands were tied behind his back, and his shoulders were strapped to something metal.
“Are you sure this is the human?” a voice said.
“Oh, I’m positive,” a familiar voice said.
Julian tensed. Gul Dukat? What was he doing here? Where was ‘here’? “Gul Dukat?” he asked, his voice coming out more brittle than he would have liked.
“Ah, he’s awake,” Dukat said. He removed the blindfold from around Julian’s eyes. “So good of you to join us, doctor.”
Julian looked around. They were aboard a Cardassian cruiser. He had been tied to one of the support beams. He could see a Cardassian he didn’t recognize piloting the ship.
“Where are we?” Julian said.
“A ship,” Dukat said simply.
Julian glared at him.
“Oh, you mean where are we in the quadrant?” He tapped a finger theatrically against the hull. “Well, we left around thirty minutes ago and at warp eight–”
“Where are you taking me?” Julian elaborated.
Dukat smirked at him. “A good attempt, doctor, but you don’t really expect me to reveal everything like I’m one of your holosuite villains,” Dukat said before turning and walking back to the control panel. “You’ll find out where we’re going soon enough.”
—
“Dr. Bashir has been kidnapped,” Garak said as soon as the door opened.
Miles blinked sleepily at him. “If this is some twisted joke…”
“No!” Garak exclaimed. “I… I just need a ship. A fast ship. I have some idea where they might be taking him, but we don’t have a lot of time.”
“You want me,” Miles said, suspicion lacing every word, “to give you a ship.”
“Yes.”
“At twenty-one hundred hours.”
“Yes.”
“To rescue Julian, who’s been kidnapped.”
“Yes.”
Miles nodded and reached over to the dresser where he kept his comm badge. “O’Brien to Bashir,” he said as he tapped the badge. He frowned when there was no response. “Computer, locate Dr. Bashir.”
“Dr. Bashir is not currently aboard the station.”
Miles was instantly awake. “I’m drivin’,” he said as he pulled a jacket off the rack by the door and rushed past Garak towards the docking bays. “And you’re gonna tell me exactly where you think Julian is.”
—
“What do you plan to do with me?”
“Always so full of questions, aren’t you, doctor?” Dukat said as he got up from the controls and ambled over to the replicator. “Luckily for you, I’m in the mood to answer some of them.” He turned to the replicator. “Red leaf tea, please,” he said. The replicator formed a mug of hot tea. “Oh,” Dukat said just as his fingers brushed the mug. “How thoughtless of me. Would you like anything to drink, doctor?”
“No,” Julian growled.
Dukat shrugged. “Suit yourself,” he said, picking up the mug. “At first,” he said as he cradled the mug in his hands, “my plan was to slit your throat and leave you outside Garak’s shop.” He smiled and took a sip of tea. “But, that was before our alliance with the Dominion and before the Dominion heard about you being genetically engineered.”
Julian’s eyes widened.
Dukat chuckled darkly. “Oh, yes. We’ve heard about that. It was a scandal when it first hit Starfleet, wasn’t it? That one of their own was genetically enhanced.” He leaned against the side of the ship. “Personally, I don’t see the problem with creating a race of super-soldiers and I’ve found the Dominion agrees with me.”
“You already have the Jem’Hadar,” Julian protested.
“Yes, but they’re so dependent on Ketracel White,” Dukat commented. He gestured with his mug at Julian. “Apparently, you genetically enhanced humans don’t need drugs to rip someone apart. You do that all on your own.”
“I don’t,” Julian whispered.
“Still playing the doctor, are we?” Dukat said. He took another sip of tea then set the mug down on the replicator platform. “Well, no matter. With the information gathered from you, we’ll be able to make all sorts of humanoids who don’t have your… personal foibles.”
“You know the Federation isn’t going to allow this,” Julian said.
Dukat laughed. “I think the Federation is going to have to deal with our plans,” he said, looming over Julian, “whether they like it or not.”
In the mood to rib Andrew Robinson a little bit for how he pronounces Bashir’s name.
—
“Do you just call him ‘honeybuns’ all the time or something?”
“I don’t know what you mean, Chief,” Garak said as he looked out the window. Julian had insisted that Miles and his family come visit them on Cardassia. Something about needing to see old friends every once in awhile. Garak had agreed, despite knowing that he and Professor O’Brien rarely saw eye to eye.
“It’s Buh-sheer,” Miles said before taking another sip of coffee. He had set up shop for breakfast at the kitchen table and had decided to savor his coffee rather than explore the Cardassian plant life that Keiko practically bolted out of bed to go see.
Garak furrowed his brow. “No, it isn’t.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I think,” Garak said, turning towards Miles. “I would know how to pronounce my own husband’s name.”
“You’d think that, which is why I think you must be callin’ him ‘honeybun’ all the time or somethin’,” Miles said before popping a bit more ikri bun in his mouth.
“It’s Bah-sheer,” Garak said.
“Buh-sheer.”
“Bah-” Garak rolled his eyes and reminded himself that he wasn’t twelve anymore. “I am not going to argue this with you.”
“Yeah, because you know I’m right.”
“Of all the puerile… my dear, how do you say your name?”
Julian, who had just walked in, cast a confused glance between his husband and his best friend. “Julian?”
Both of them groaned. “Your surname,” Garak elaborated.
“Oh. Bashir.”
“Hah!” Miles said, pointing a finger at Garak.
“Just a moment, would you mind saying that again, doctor?” Garak said. “Slowly.”
“Bah-sheer,” he said.
“No! No, no, no, I’ve heard you say it before. It’s Buh-sheer,” Miles said.
“Oh! Well, that’s a result of the vowel shift when you put an Arabic name into a British accent,” Julian said with a nervous smile. He cocked his head to one side and looked up. “In some parts of Earth, it’s Bachir.”
“Bachir? With a ‘ch’?” Miles protested, his ikri bun forgotten on his plate.
“Well, yes, but that’s not how I–”
“Thank you, my dear,” Garak said smugly, walking over to his husband and taking Julian’s hands in his own.
“Hang on! You didn’t get it right either,” Miles protested.
“I did,” Garak said, casting a scornful glance over his shoulder at Miles.
“Actually,” Julian said with a slight wince, “the emphasis is a bit on the second syllable.”
“I see,” Garak said. He dropped Julian’s hands. “So I’ve been saying your name wrong all this time, and you refused to tell me?”
“Not refused. I thought…” He gestured at Miles. “Well, if humans have a hard time saying it, why would a Cardassian have a better chance?”
“I see,” Garak said coldly. “Well, Dr. Bah-sheer, maybe you’ll consider that we Cardassians have an extraordinary memory and a dedication to thoroughness.”
“Elim…”
“Oh, no, that won’t work, doctor,” Garak said with a shake of his head. He glanced at Miles before pulling himself up to his full height. “We will talk about this once our company has left,” he said before storming out of the room.
Julian turned towards Miles, a stunned expression on his face. “What did you do?!” he protested as soon as Garak left.
“Nothin’!” Miles said. “Just…” He snorted out a laugh. “Welcome to married life.”
Anyone who has wanted to read Andrew Robinson’s Garak novel “"A Stitch in Time” but couldn’t get a copy, Simon and Schuster is offering it as an ebook for .99 cents this month.
