Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
So. Today in class we assigned Macbeth roles to students to read. When I asked the class who wants to be Lady Macbeth, a young man raised his hand. I kind of stared at him like “Lady Macbeth,” and he nodded like “I know what I’m about ma’am.” So then the student who ended up as Macbeth raised his hand and said “HE’S THE ONE, HE’S MY WIFE!” So I said “yeah sure why not,” and the entire class period they were blowing kisses to each other and winking at each other, and every now and then Macbeth would say “I’m the luckiest man on Earth” and Lady Macbeth would put a hand to his chest, and be like “BABE!”.
I just stared at them, knowing that they CLEARLY have never read ‘Macbeth’ before, so… all this lovey dovey… I don’t know if I have the heart to tell them the truth.
Update:
Macbeth is absolutely willing to fucking throw down for Lady Macbeth. Has already threatened a wall, a desk, a few students, a textbook that was neither his nor Lady Macbeth’s, and me
Lady Macbeth is enjoying the attention and has begun to use this new connection to his advantage. I’m starting to suspect he’s read ahead in the play.
Macbeth is going to end up living in detention at this rate.
Macbeth has no idea that he is the tragedy of the story. Claims to be the hero of the play, fails to see the irony in this
Macbeth slowly scooted his desk across the classroom to hold hands with Lady Macbeth. He was not subtle.
Macbeth has proposed on several occasions. Lady Macbeth just laughs and says they’re already married.
Macbeth’s girlfriend is in the class with them and is “totally not jealous or anything just thinks this whole fucking play is a waste of time”
Lady Macbeth should probably be a theatre major at some point, he fucking rocked Act V scene I
Other teachers and staff are emailing me about the “lovely lords”. Lady Macbeth now refuses to answer to anything other than Lady Macbeth and is always very upset when people don’t call him by his proper title.
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
It’s even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
quick comic i drew last night at like 2 am. this was supposed to just be about quark finding a scathing review of his bar on THE SPACE INTERNET but it took a sharp left turn somewhere, somehow. hmm. now i want to write the rest of the review!
p sure i ship everyone on this show with everyone else at least a little bit
You know what else is loud? The clap of Senwosret’s chiselled thighs as he goes to the White Chapel.
brb kidnapping him to the marshes
THIGHS
YOU CANNOT ESCAPE. YOU WILL GO INTO THE MARSHES
We just gonna ignore the dude on the right, huh
Fertility god Min. Literally appears everywhere. Nothing special about him unless you like salad.
Did you know that there are Egyptian dick characters in Unicode? Like you can just type a string of Egyptian dick guys? The problem is that nobody wants people pasting dicks all over everything so they just end up looking like little boxes. That’s right, the people making fonts are cowards AND most social media have also disabled the characters entirely. So if you can see this properly, congratulations: 𓂸𓂹𓂺
If you can’t see them, as I suspect you can’t, you’ll just have to trust me that those are Egyptian dicks according to Unicode standards. For now the best we can do is these dudes (𓁤𓁲), but someday the prudes and cowards will accept those Unicode characters.
WAIT I FORGOT THE BEST PART!
I was going to clear my notepad that I used while copying and pasting these things and suddenly a dick appeared and I remembered that it gets stranger! Sorry it’s been a while since I thought about Egyptian dicks.
If you type the characters together, your computer is all “oh no a string of dicks i had better save the children’s poor eyes” and makes them blocks. But if you put them next to OTHER HEIROGLYPHICS they suddenly work. So:
𓂸𓂹𓂺 gets me blocks, but
𓁤𓂸𓁤𓂹𓁤𓂺𓁤 gets me the dicks. You just can’t have them by themselves. Fascinating, right?
As an Egyptologist I was very aware of this, but your science experiment (it’s science because you wrote it down!) has shown us that we can now bother everyone with dicks. So in celebration: 𓋴𓂸𓏏𓂋𓅮𓂺𓏏 (or “examine the dick” in Late Egyptian)
When a friend told me that the guy who played Dr. Bashir on Deep Space Nine is the great-grandson of the Mahdi, I didn’t believe it….but I looked it up, and, well, it turns out it was true. Alexander Siddig’s full name is actually Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abdurrahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdul Karim El Mahdi. The last are a reference to his grandfather, Muhammad Ahmed of Omdurman, the Mahdi of Khartoum.
Interestingly, Odo actor Rene Auberjonois’s great-great-grandmother was actually Napoleon’s younger sister, Caroline Bonaparte Murat (wife of Joachim Murat, King of Naples). So it’s like everyone on Deep Space Nine is related to some important 19th Century historical figure.
