Icon from a picrew by grgikau. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
can’t stop thinking about Garak’s arc in A Stitch in Time - this view of himself as incurably sentimental, as soft almost (I’m thinking of the way his relatively low pain tolerance is treated, if only by him, as a softness/weakness also), almost not-quite-masculine-enough, and how everyone around him sees this as a weakness he “inherited” if only via nurture from Tolan.
The flip side is that he’s a good operative because he’s good at connecting with people, and watching the show through that lens you can see this as a kind of almost warmth of personality, right? Which isn’t a word a non-Cardassian would use to describe a Cardassian, usually, but Garak is friendly, even though it tends to come across as suspicious. But he’s much more extroverted and chatty than almost any other Cardassian we see, even while claiming to cling so tightly to Cardassian ideals.
And look, obviously there are some connections to be made here with his queerness and how that might be received, given the Cardassian focus on biological family, which I’d really like to think about. In a sense, Garak is unable to fully access Cardassian views of masculinity, which is obviously a queer narrative, especially when given to a canon queer character. Right now, though, mainly I’m thinking about how he writes to Julian “we’re so different, Doctor”.
But everything that happens in this book reinforces that, in fact, they are just exactly the same. And of course Garak latches on to this shiny naive friendly bleeding-heart Federation doctor. And of course he tries to convince him to stop being so sentimental and soft and outgoing (because look how that ended for Garak).
And of course, also, he’s perhaps a little disappointed when Julian does. “Not so boyish anymore, Doctor”, huh, yeah, how does that make you feel, Garak. How does it make you feel that the man you were so drawn to has lost so many of the qualities that drew you to him, just like you did? How does it make you feel to watch him go through the same pain you did, and withdraw from his emotions just like you did? And then lose touch with him, and so that’s where the story ends for you both. No wonder he couldn’t stop himself writing the world’s longest “what WERE we?” letter.
I forgot to close the dishwasher after unloading it, and Pandolf’s blanket was in front of it. He knows that when he is in the kitchen the Lawful Place for him to nap is on his blanket, and he is a worried dog who very badly wants to be a good boy and a law-abiding citizen, so he did his best to curl up on the small piece of blanket that wasn’t under the dishwasher’s door. He didn’t know where to put his head so he ended up using the edge of the door as a very uncomfortable pillow and he awkwardly fell asleep like that. When I went downstairs and woke him up he gave me a fretful look that clearly meant “I hope I didn’t break any rules… this was an unscripted situation… I’m a good dog :( I really tried to be on my blanket”
If we want to come up with a canon in character reason for Garak and Bashir growing apart instead of just ignoring it as bad, homophobia driven, writing (both approaches are good) I think it might have been because Garak was NOT what Julian needed after the Dominion War trauma set in. At the beginning of their story Julian has a lot of spoons and hope for the world and all of Garak’s mystery invigorates him and being there for Garak in his trauma makes him feel needed but after years and years of war and hurt and seeing some horrible things I think he’s just… not able to take on Garak’s baggage anymore. Like he needs to play darts with Miles and drink a beer not have a cat and mouse conversation about Garak’s past time committing petty atrocities for a fascist state. I think he simply changed. Garak’s presence used to energize him and although he will always care about his friend I think it stopped energizing him and started draining him.
As much as it hurts my heart, that’s a valid take. To me, based on the few interactions we do see, I feel canon seems to hint more at the friendship continuing off screen rather than growing apart entirely. I also see Garak fulfilling an important role for Julian in the war, that being a distraction and target for his feelings.
There are a lot of excellent metas about these scenes in particular, but given the context in the episodes, I see Garak trying to help Julian preserve a little of his idealism and innocence by putting himself in Julian’s way when he’s shutting down or becoming numb to the war and starting a silly argument until Julian is full of righteous indignation again. Particularly contasted with Sisko’s quip about liking “him better this way.” Most of the crew seem to see Julian’s quiet as a sign of maturity to be encouraged. Garak, and arguably Miles, know better.
