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beastlyanachronism:

Captain Kirk keeps talking about someone called "Bones" and the visiting diplomats, Sarek and Amanda, have to play a tactful game of "Crewman or Dog???"

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trek-tracks:

Oh no, like in Brooklyn 99…

“Yeah, Bones tends to be grumpy when you wake him up. But his bark is worse than his bite.”

“Sometimes I pat Bones on the head and tell him he’s a good boy, but I don’t think he likes it much.”

“Bones has the cutest blue eyes, like a Siberian Husky. They’re quite striking.”

“Bones is always herding the crew around, whether they like it or not. He’s always watching out for us.”

“Bones always makes sure I get enough physical exercise. He’s always like, Jim, time for a walk.”

“Bones will sometimes growl at Spock, but he’s really just fiercely protective of him.”

“Bones is always complaining that his collar is too tight.”

trek-tracks:

beastlyanachronism:

“Bones is terrified of the transporter…sometimes I nearly have to carry him onto it!”

“Head straight into my office, I’ll meet you there in five minutes…if Bones is sitting on my chair, just push him off, he won’t mind.”

“I shouldn’t really let him onto the Bridge, of course…but he whines if I don’t let him check up on me now and then.”

#what do you mean your dog has a medical opinion 

#amanda knits a dog sweater as a present and is then hugely embarrassed

@trek-tracks don’t leave those in the tags lol

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“We know Captain Kirk said they got along like cats and dogs, so…”

“My wife, Spock said Bones was opinionated, loyal, and very amusing. How would our son know what this ‘Bones’ is thinking, were he not human?”

“Oh, you know very well that Spock will meld with anything.”

Amanda hears Jim talk about how funny Bones can be when he’s had some bourbon and goes to give him a piece of her mind because how DARE he feed alcohol to a dog

itswalky:

magiccarpetman:

itswalky:

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imagine watching Star Wars in theaters in 1977 and pointing at Darth Vader boarding a ship with Stormtroopers and then choking some guy, and exclaiming THAT’S CLEARLY JESUS CHRIST, THAT’S WHY I’M INTO THIS

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Love Star Wars. Love the Bible. I love the story about how Jesus *checks notes* cut off his son’s hand.

remember when satan took jesus out into the desert for 40 days to tempt him and satan was like “hey murder these younglings” and then jesus murdered them and then john the baptist cut off his arms and legs

ghostdrinkssoup:

underrated moment in ofmd is when stede flashes back to ed threatening their hostage with a knife while mary is trying to explain what falling in love is like and we just hear him distantly screaming thenextonegoesthroughyourFUCKINGHEAD over the piano instrumental

seraph5:

kirksfattitties:

kirksfattitties:

imagine being klingon and hearing about some human motherfucker going absolutely hogwild and blowing up his own starship and almost single-handedly killing ~20 klingons and then stealing their fucking ship and escaping from an exploded planet??? and then going to vulcan and raising his vulcan boyfriend from the dead?????? and then heading back to earth but takes a detour to go back in time and steal some fucking WHALES and going back into the future and saving the whole fucking planet???

klingons must think kirk is absolutely feral

i’m just imagining in the ds9 tribble episode worf talking about how much of legend kirk is because every klingon wanted to fight and defeat him to prove their worth and then worf sees kirk and is like “THAT TWUNK??”

That’s James Twunk Kirk to you Mr.