problem: the only nongendered characters who show up in sci fi and fantasy are aliens/robots/hiveminds/other entities without a human concept of gender, where the whole joke is how them not understanding our norms makes them weird

solution, part 1 (the actually important part): write more stories about characters who do grow up with our gender binary and still choose to reject it

solution, part 2: This Swarm Of Insects Has Reflected Long And Hard On The Nature Of Identity And Personhood, And Decided He Still Identifies As A Man